Welcome to TBH – To Be Honest – Capsule’s monthly column with our columnist and old pal, Brodie Kane! This month, Brodie writes a love letter to her girlfriends after a girls’ trip to Vegas, about why our female friendships are the real love stories of our lives.
And for her previous columns, click here!
I have written a lot in this column about being single, about being happy about being single, about being vulnerable sometimes because I’m single, about trying the dating apps because I’m single, about hating and quitting the dating apps and remaining single, and defending and celebrating my independence because I’m single.
Now, this might sound dramatic, but I had a realisation last night. I realised that despite not having a romantic partner, a man I’m in love with who I want to spend the rest of my life with (and yeah cool, if it happens it happens), I am wholeheartedly in love with my girlfriends.
I am not in love with them in a romantic way, but as we were driving home in the car last night, my two fellow single girlies in the car were discussing if we met a man at this stage, are we in trouble because how on earth do they match the love we have for each other in the sisterhood???
The Greek word philia (φιλία) means “affectionate regard” or “friendship”. It’s one of the four ancient Greek words for love, along with storge, agape, and eros.
Philia is a virtuous love that’s usually between equals. It’s a dispassionate love that requires virtue, equality, and familiarity.
Philia can refer to loyalty to friends, family, and community. It can also refer to hospitality, belonging to a social group, and harmony.
Well, sign me up, philia, because I am there and shit it fills my cup.
I recently went away to Las Vegas for five days, thanks to Air New Zealand Grabaseat to watch the Warriors play in the NRL Vegas round (we don’t need to talk about the game). It was one of the best weeks of my life, and I couldn’t have been more proud to be a Kiwi. Thousands of wonderful New Zealanders took over the strip – it had to be seen to be believed. We all connected, bonded, and showed the mana of Aotearoa, thousands of miles away. I met people who will be my friends forever.
And then there’s Laura McGoldrick. When I found out Laura was coming to Vegas my heart sang. Laura and I have been good friends and supporters of each other for a good while now. I have always admired her and think she is one of the most talented broadcasters in the world.
On this trip away, I fell in love with her (in the aforementioned way, haha). We not only had the time of our lives together, but it cemented that connection of women who lift each other up, support each other when we’re down, and celebrate everything about the other person which in turn makes that bond so strong.
We spent practically every moment together, and got through those five days in Vegas like absolute troopers (top tip: you only need three days ABSOLUTELY MAX in Vegas). We have spent the week recovering (warning, for every day you’re in Vegas add two recovery days upon return), and to manage our separation anxiety, we’ve sent approximately 7000 voice notes to keep connected during the rebuild phase.
So back to that falling in love bit. I think it’s the coolest feeling ever to be in love with your girlfriends. It’s a different kind of love but I tell you what, as a single girlie, having girlfriends I love so dearly makes me so happy. Look at the fun you have with your girlfriends. The love, the support, the giggles, the tears, the hours-on-end conversations about smart, dumb, ridiculous and fabulous stuff.
So thank you Laura McGoldrick, for making me realise I am completely in love with you and also making me realise how in love I am with all my other girlfriends (you know who you are), and how well that all sits in my heart.
So, this International Women’s Day, I’m celebrating the deep love I have for women.
Women, you are great, thank you for being you.
To hear more of Brodie, jump onto her podcasts The Girls Uninterrupted and Kiwi Yarns
