Awake half the night, two double-shots deep by 9am, and staring at a task you could normally knock out in fifteen minutes? Asking yourself, ‘Am I Burnt Out’? Nervous system and burnout coach Nat Hugill, who shared her own experiences with burnout here, shares the three signs worth paying attention to, the two things you can do about them today, and a 60-second reset for when it all feels like too much.
There’s a particular kind of tired that no amount of early nights will touch – you know the one: you’re functioning, you’re showing up, you’re answering emails and remembering the school lunches and saying yes to things. And yet somewhere underneath it all, you have the sense of running on absolute fumes. The worst part is often the commentary that comes with it – that voice telling you everyone else seems to manage, so what exactly is wrong with you?
After conquering her own battle with burnout, and changing her entire fast-paced life so she can now help other women going through the same thing, Auckland-based nervous system and burnout coach Nat Hugill works with high-achieving women who are very good at wearing the “I’m fine” mask. She says the signs of genuine depletion are usually hiding in plain sight – and here, she shares what to look for, plus the small, practical steps that help you start reclaiming your capacity.
ARE YOU HEADING FOR BURNOUT?
Awake half the night, running on two double-shot coffees by 9am, and staring blankly at your screen willing yourself to focus? If you’re wearing the “I’m fine” mask while secretly berating yourself for your lack of motivation, here are three key signs to look out for:
- Rest doesn’t feel restful: You’re exhausted in a way sleep can’t fix. Yet when you do rest, guilt about what you “should” be doing won’t leave you alone. You end up in a mental tug-of-war – neither resting nor working – stuck in between.
- Joy feels muted: On a dinner date or playing games with the family, you’re mentally checked out. The connection and joy you used to feel are replaced by a flat, numbed-out sensation.
- Knowing and doing feel miles apart: Quick 15-minute tasks now stretch into hours. Knowing what to do isn’t the problem – accessing the motivation is. You judge yourself for how you feel and try to force yourself forward, pushing past exhausted limits to tick something off, but it only works short-term and leaves you feeling worse.
If this sounds like you, here are two steps you can action right now:
- Acknowledge how you feel: By addressing it and being honest about how you feel, you can start to relieve the burden of carrying it.
- Reach out: Let a trusted loved one know. If they felt this way, wouldn’t you want to know? You don’t need to carry this on your own.
If what you’re feeling runs deeper than tiredness, or has been with you for a while, you don’t need to wait for a crisis to get support. Talk to your GP or a health professional, or free call or text 1737 any time to speak with a trained counsellor.
OK, SO YOU MIGHT BE BURNT OUT – HERE’S THREE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO RECLAIM YOUR CAPACITY
Ever said yes in the moment even though something in you knew it wasn’t right – then spent the following days regretting it? That feeling was information. Your body registered the real answer before you talked yourself out of it. These three steps help you catch it in time:
- Buy yourself a moment: “Let me check and come back to you” is a complete answer. You’re not saying no – you’re giving yourself breathing room to pause and consider whether it’s something you genuinely want or have the capacity to do.
- Check in with your body: If your mouth is saying yes on autopilot while your chest is tightening or your stomach is sinking, that’s your gut feeling talking – and it’s worth listening to.
- Ask yourself one question: “If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?” Your evening? Your rest? Your own plans? Seeing the trade-off clearly makes the decision grounded in reality instead of automatic.
60-Second Reset: Move from Stressed to Settled
Try this physiological sigh to signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to relax:
- Ground: Put both feet flat on the floor.
- Double inhale: Breathe in slowly through your nose, expanding your belly. At the top, take one small extra sip of air.
- Long exhale: Exhale slowly through pursed lips, letting your exhale last longer than your inhale as your belly relaxes.
- Repeat 3 times.
Nat Hugill is an HCANZA-accredited Nervous System & Burnout Coach for high-achieving women based in Auckland. Take her free Boundary Wellness Quiz at https://www.nathugillcoach.com or find her on Instagram @nathugillcoach.
