Can you handle extended eye contact with someone in a video, and a lot of repetitive sounds? Are you among the 10-20% of people who will experience autonomous sensory meridian response? Sarah Lang gives it a try.
Have you ever heard of autonomous sensory meridian response, usually called ASMR? I hadn’t until I read the book The Introverts’ Guide To Leaving The House to prep for interviewing the author, Jenny Valentish, about introversion and social anxiety. She was surprised I’d never heard of ASMR. “It’s huge. Well, I guess it’s only huge if you know how to look for it.”
As Jenny explains, ‘ASMRtists’ record videos looking into the camera, as though they’re looking right at you. “It gives the individual viewer a sense of receiving personal attention. A person on screen is talking to you very gently, making lots of eye contact, but because they’re not ‘literally there’, you can maintain that eye contact without feeling uncomfortable. These videos are commonly credited with helping people sleep and helping with anxiety – often through whispering, clicking noises, hair brushing and reiki finger gestures.” Such things are called ‘triggers’.
This is what they trigger. “The sensation is a tingling of the scalp, a cascade of shimmering, a weakening of the spine. One fan reports ‘my stomach has a slight drop feeling, like being on a swing’, while a much-bandied term is ‘brain orgasm’. Personally, I’m just lulled into a stupor. It releases oxytocin – because while you’re technically alone, it feels like you’re having a bonding experience with the ASMRtist – and studies have shown that ASMR lowers the heart rate.”
“Backdrops range from intricately styled sets – a bookstore, a space ship, a doctor’s clinic – to the shabby wall of someone’s apartment. The variety is huge, but the intention is the same. It’s to soothe people with anxiety, or if you’ve had a bad day. The comments sections speak for themselves. There are grateful people saying ‘I was feeling awful, then I watched the video, so thank you’.”
What about the science?
ASMR is totally a thing. A Psychology Today article provides some more specifics. “Autonomous sensory meridian response – more commonly referred to as ASMR – is the name given to a tingling sensation, typically on the scalp, neck, or back, that some people report feeling in response to certain visual or auditory stimuli. ASMR is an interesting combination of both arousal and relaxation. Some describe it as tingles, chills, or waves that move through the head, neck, and spine, and the physical sensation is accompanied by feelings of happiness, calm, or sleepiness.” The article also says “ASMR is an involuntary physiological response, similar to synesthesia, which can’t be practiced or learned”. (Unlike, for instance, mindfulness meditation.)
Psychologist Dr Susan Albers-Bowling, interviewed for a story in August, says an estimated 10% to 20% of the population experiences ASMR. “Research is still in the beginning phases, but it’s already clear that there’s a reaction happening on a physiological level. Understanding it better could eventually lead to it becoming a clinically recognized treatment for a wide range of medical conditions.”
What about me?
Might I be one of what Jenny calls “the special minority”? Given I experience anxiety, I figure why not try ASMR? Mindfulness meditation, which I do on and off, has helped me. So maybe ASMR will feel like a visual version of a guided-meditation audio?
I consulted the oracle that is Reddit, and found a post where people were commenting about the best ASMRtists. A few people mentioned Gentle Whispering. I clicked on her video ‘Delicate Gibberish & Soothing Sounds for Relaxation’. Gentle Whispering is a beautiful woman. But her eye contact was so full on that I had to go from full screen to minimising the window. Her gaze and whispering felt a little sexual. I had chosen the wrong ASMRist. But I certainly wasn’t going to stop at the first hurdle!
Some other Redditors recommended ‘Goodnight Moon’. I tried her ‘ASMR Unclenching Your Face (Detailed Personal Attention Face Massage)’. She said “I’m going to look at your face if that’s okay with you”. That felt weird: she knows that I know that she can’t see my face, right? She also said that my left lower jaw has been ‘overcompensating’ and that that could be down to clenching my jaw, posture, or how I sleep. I found this approach, as if she knew me personally, off-putting. Goodnight Moon seemed like a lovely person, but after six minutes, the urge to pause that video was overwhelming.
Next I tried ASMRtist Rae Moon. I clicked on her video ‘ASMR for Emotional Healing: Let Me Comfort You’. She has a comforting fairy godmother presence. But when she put a crystal quartz tiara ‘on me’ (presumably just above the camera), it felt really weird. Four minutes in, I succumbed to the urge to clear and order my inbox.
Stacy Aster was also recommended by Redditors. I tried her ‘ASMR Tapping For Sleep 100% Tingles! (ASMR No Talking)’. This was much more my style. I couldn’t see Stacy’s face or hear her voice. She seemed to have got the memo than not everyone enjoys making unbroken eye contact with a stranger on a prerecorded video. Under the video, it says you don’t have to look, and can just listen. But I was happy to watch her pink nails tapping on surfaces including a perfume bottle, the back of a cellphone, a lacquered board, plastic glasses, corkboard, a paper towel tube, glass ball. I lasted the full 31 minutes. It did feel somewhat calming. I didn’t feel any scalp tingling or any other effects of ASMR, but apparently, finding the right ASMRtist and the right ‘triggers’ can be a process of trial and error.
I’m not giving up quite yet, but my intuition tells me I’m not one of the ‘special minority’. However, you very well could be!
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