New Zealand women are shocked to find that others don’t have an inner monologue – and vice versa!
Because I’ve always had a very chatty inner monologue – and assumed it was just part of the human condition – it had never occurred to me to ask if anyone didn’t have one. Then I found out that someone doesn’t have one and I was SHOOKETH. My inner monologue was like ‘Sarah, can you believe that people are wandering about without inner monologues as their shadows?’.
An inner monologue is essentially having a discussion with yourself inside your head. The experience might involve asking yourself questions, internally reacting to what a person does, or reflecting on something that has happened. It could be something like ‘that meeting went amazingly well, you’re actually very good at managing projects’ or ‘I can’t believe that person just said that!’ or ‘just do it rather than putting it off, you know from personal experience that it’s best not to overthink things’.
Psychology writer and scholar Dr Cynthia Vinney describes it this way. “Many people’s internal experience includes a verbal quality that comes across as a monologue,” she writes.
“This inner monologue uses language, but the individual doesn’t need to move their mouth or be heard to form the words that are central to it. This private speech is addressed only to ourselves and is something we feel like we can ‘hear’. One’s inner monologue is complete with tone and inflection, even though it’s not audible.”
No Inner Narrator
On TikTok, nearly 11 million posts have the hashtag #innermonologue. Here, psychology and social-media scholar Dr Steve Rathje has posted a video asking ‘Do you have an internal monologue? There’s a lot of talk on the internet about how some people have an internal narrator in their heads at all times and others do not. And each type of person is not really aware that the other type of person exists.”
Seeing some such TikToks, Bustle writer Carolyn Steber asked her friends if they had an internal monologue, expecting them to say yes. Half did. “But the other half didn’t know what I meant, and were equally shocked that others have an inner voice. The folks with the internal monologue simply cannot imagine not having one – and vice versa.”
Carolyn found out more. “Some people have a chatty internal monologue that narrates their life, while others have a quiet, serene inner landscape.”
“If you don’t have an inner monologue, there’s no chatter in your head. It might show up sometimes, but for the most part, your mind is quiet.”
How Common Is It?
In her story ‘Does Everyone Have an Inner Monologue?’, Dr Cynthia Vinney writes about the work of lauded American psychologist Russell Hurlburt.
“Hulburt estimates that only between 30% and 50% of people frequently experience an inner monologue. His research using Descriptive Experience Sampling [involving beepers and interviews to provide descriptions of inner experiences] has indicated that most people don’t experience their inner monologue all the time, and many go through large parts of their days without experiencing it at all. On the other hand, researchers using different research methods have concluded that the frequency of inner speech is much higher. One study suggests that people experience it 75% of the time.”
Whatever the stats, it’s clear that some people don’t have an inner monologue. “Research on why some people lack an inner monologue,” Dr Vinney writes, “is in its infancy and, therefore, there are no firm answers to the question of why some people may not experience this phenomenon.”
Talking to Kiwi Women About Their Inner Monologue
So I asked Kiwi women in some social-media groups about whether they have an inner monologue (yes, knowing my peers definitely aren’t a representative sample). I got lots of responses. Most commenters have an inner monologue and were shocked to learn that some people don’t.
Sally* was surprised. “You know how, if you ask someone what they’re thinking, and they say ‘nothing’? I always assumed that was the socially appropriate way to say ‘I don’t want to share’ or ‘nothing interesting, I’m just going over a conversation I had two days ago and singing the duck song over and over’.”
Other women were shocked that people do have inner monologues. Ana* says “I was GOBSMACKED to discover other people had a narrator. Is it like David Attenborough? Like Nigella?”
Recently, Amanda* was out with two friends, who started talking about their inner monologues. “I said, ‘what?’. I hadn’t heard of people walking around with a narrator joining them.”
“There’s no extra guest along with me. I can’t imagine having an inner monologue, and having someone in your brain narrating life. I like having empty silence up there. It’s just quiet.”
That’s helpful come bedtime. “I can have had the most stressful day, but no one’s talking to me about it. I’m just off to sleep.”
Geraldine* is also glad not to have an inner monologue. “It’s bad enough when other people chatter continuously but I’d go out of my mind if my head was doing it too! I can think something through, like a problem, but there’s absolutely not a running commentary in my head. When a thought comes to me, it’s just there: not words, not spoken, not visual, it just ‘is’.” Geraldine learned some people do have an inner monologue when her daughter was nine and spoke about hers. “I was like ‘really?’.”
So, What Is An Inner Monologue For?
In a Psychology Today story called ‘How Inner Monologues Work, And Who Has Them’, therapist Dr Kyle D. Killian writes that “the theory is that those who don’t regularly have inner monologues – many of them are processing information and prepping for tasks using visual imagery rather than words. That is, they see images, such as a to-do list, rather than thinking about or hearing the words for the items on the list.”
He adds that “it’s helpful to think about their inner experience in visual terms, as while it might be quiet as the occasional cricket when it comes to words, it’s not a total void or vacuum in there”.
Stacey* says, “I see patterns and equations. It actually scared me to find out people have inner voices, but it also makes sense now as to why some people think differently to me. It wasn’t a crazy shock that people hear voices in their head – it was a shock to learn that people associate that with their identity.”
Amy* says “words often appear in text form in my brain, a bit like subtitles on a screen. A kind of a type-writery serif typeface, either dark or light depending on a nondescript blurry background.”
Ella* says “I have surround sound, pictures, scents, not just one inner monologue.” Yes, all the time. “Sometimes less intense. Sometimes if I really make a meditative effort, I can maybe concentrate on just one. But usually it’s a rave party in there and it’s been that way since I can remember. My husband, though, has no inner monologue at all.”
For the record, a study shows no significant gender differences with inner speech.
Pros & Cons Of An Inner Monologue
An inner monologue has been found to help with things including self-awareness, emotional regulation, motivation, decision-making, planning, and problem-solving. Heck, you can hold a debate in your own head, arguing for the yays and the nays.
In the Psychology Today story, Dr Killian writes that “‘inner’ or ‘private’ speech is something most of us likely did as very young people seeking to develop our language skills, and later as a way of rehearsing information to successfully encode and retain working memory. So it’s clearly functional.” However, he adds that “too much of a good thing is possible”.
“For instance, anxious minds continuously scan for and entertain intrusive thoughts, and rumination on these can lead to brooding, and brooding can give itself over to highly critical talk about self and others.”
And it isn’t helpful at night. Janet* says “I’m curious how many other folk with extensive or stubborn inner monologues are prone to insomnia? Mine has no off-switch or volume control.” Another woman responds: “Oh yes. Like a lightsaber in my brain when trying to sleep.”
Kirsty* has a “very busy” inner monologue. “Constant noise and conversation, plus pictures and colours. When I’m reading or writing, I can hear my voice repeating the words back to me. I’ll also have conversations or arguments with people in my head; however it’s always my own voice I hear.”
“It really surprised me when I first heard that many people don’t have an inner monologue. It’s actually really hard to wrap my head around. My friends and I were talking about this a few weeks ago. Two of us have an inner monologue, and the other two have nothing at all – just black. Now I like to ask people if they have an inner monologue, and I’m constantly surprised at how different everybody is.”
