She’s an athlete, a wife, a mum and a highly influential online presence – and she’s also just a gal trying to make it all work. Here, hockey great Gemma McCaw gets candid about her parenting, her philosophies and a brand-new partnership aimed at reconnecting Kiwis with the healing power of nature.
Gemma McCaw uses a lot of words like ‘intentional’ and ‘authentic’.
It’s how she speaks too – every word chosen carefully and precisely, her enthusiasm for you to truly understand what she’s saying obvious in every syllable. She’s a woman of many passions – nature, exercise, women’s health, reading, family – and she has a lot to say.
In the 12 years or so since I first met Gemma she’s always been a cool cucumber, even through her gritty and demanding career as a Black Stick and an Olympian, her relationship with New Zealand’s favourite human, Richie McCaw that thrust her into the public spotlight, and her path as a mum to three very young daughters, Charlotte (6), Grace (4) and Ella (2). (I was Gemma and Richie’s wedding and not even a rogue paparazzi who had hidden up a tree for two days to try and capture photos of the ceremony fazed her. I’ll tell ya – it more than fazed me.)
But, she’s also human – which explains a flying iPad hurled across the garage in a fit of frustration.
“Look, it wasn’t my best work,” she says with a half-laugh, telling Capsule of the incident two years ago when, after taking her three daughters to France and using an iPad at the recommendation of a friend, she realised her eldest, Charlotte, couldn’t understand why she couldn’t use it all the time, or when enough was enough.
Fed up with her daughter’s reliance on her screen, Gemma made a call then and there – two years ago – that her kids wouldn’t use devices. It was, she says, the “best decision I’ve made.”
Now you might be reading this thinking ‘how the HELL does that work?’ but somehow, for Gemma and Richie anyway, it does – and yes, there’s sleep-in sacrifices and other moments when it would be easier to use a screen, Gemma admits!
Gemma with her youngest daughter, Ella, in January 2025
It’s perhaps the most obvious marker of how Gemma is choosing to approach parenting, along with her support of the B416 campaign, which aims to support and raise awareness of the government’s proposed Bill to restrict social media for children under 16.
She and Richie restrict their device use around their children, plug their phones in the office so they don’t reach for them first thing in the morning and keep them in different rooms during family time. “As a team, that’s how we want to parent and we want to be really present but it’s hard, because sometimes it would be easier [for them to have devices]. I want them to have the ability to play – and be bored. We try and say ‘only boring people are bored’. And they do get to watch cartoons and things in the weekends.
“But we know if [our phones] are on us, we’ll pick them up. My biggest thing is when the kids are up, I’m not on my phone. It takes a lot of willpower and discipline, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Just think about it – when was the last time you went to the bathroom without your phone? Stood in a line at the supermarket? Exercised without it?
“People say ‘oh, I don’t have time’. I say, ‘look at how much time you’ve spent on your phone’. That could have been doing anything else. Why not put half of that into exercising, or being outside?”
Gemma, who has just announced a three-year partnership with outdoor apparel brand Kathmandu that aims to get women especially away from screens and the minutiae of everyday life and into nature, has an interesting relationship with social media herself.
Gemma conquering Roy’s Peak
There’s a bit of a strange duality there – she admits that she was sorely tempted to remove herself from social media altogether, and yet she commands a huge following and yes, earns money from it, such as the aforementioned partnership and other activity.
Gemma admits that it’s sometimes been a struggle to navigate the two sides – but now focusses on using social media intentionally and authentically.
“I said to Rich over the summer, ‘why don’t we just go off it?’ He’s not a big user of it anyway. But then a lady came up to me during the summer and she was talking about the book recommendations and other things I post, and I told her I was thinking about going off it. She said ‘oh, please don’t – the stuff you put up is like you’re speaking to a kind friend’. So it kind of made me rethink about how I post, and my vision and values. So now I lean into it, and post when the kids are asleep.
“It’s been an interesting journey,” she says of having partnerships. “I went from being an athlete to having three kids and really leaning into motherhood, and then of course, values-wise, you get a bit older and a bit wiser. Now it’s all about values for me. It’s about aligning with people and brands that share that same vision, because I think you have to be authentic. That’s why I don’t do a lot of partnerships now, just because I feel like I don’t want to be online, to be honest. I understand it’s a really important tool to connect people. But I want to promote getting women, especially, out there and that’s why I loved the idea of working with Kathmandu. Plus, it’s an iconic Kiwi brand – everyone remembers their first puffer jacket!”
Gemma with her husband, former All Black Richie
Now she’s settled into a comfortable relationship with her social media presence, Gemma is now focussing her efforts on her biggest passion – informing and empowering women to live healthier lives, using all her knowledge as a former professional athlete, her qualifications in sport and exercise science and positive psychology and wellbeing and her own experiences being a woman and mum in New Zealand.
Her newest partnership with Kathmandu – yes, the puffer jacket people – is the most recent example of this ethos, as well as her and the family’s recent move to Wãnaka, where the kids are enjoying more nature, more outdoor time and more connection.
“It’s beautiful down here,” she says. “It’s been quite a big transition – when you move you move away from all your people and your village, so you have to find your feet again. But the lifestyle is great for the kids and everyone down here has been so nice. We just wanted to raise the kids out in nature a little bit more.”
Out in nature is exactly where Gemma plans to spend a large chunk of her time in the near future, whether that’s testing Kathmandu’s heavy-duty gear during extreme endurance racing, or leading Ladies Who Venture, a group of gals who tackle New Zealand’s Great Walks. Making the outdoors accessible to every Kiwi woman is her ultimate dream.
“I want to remove barriers,” she says, while acknowledging that she herself comes from a place of privilege when it comes to access to kit and gear. “Going for a walk is a great way to not spend money. You don’t need a lot of gear, just the right gear, and that’s what I’m hoping to show.
“The healing power of nature is amazing… I grew up camping and tramping. Mum sent me photos of me as a kid camping the other day and I just thought, ‘that’s the childhood I want for my kids too’. I want to show that it’s doable and it’s just so much fun and rewarding. Nature fills your cup in the best way. It’s the best antidote to the rest of the world.”
And, this new era of Gemma’s journey signifies another chapter – one that sees her reclaiming her own time and space away from simply being ‘Mum’.
“My family comes first, of course. Women are selfless, and we give and give, we know that – and then you become a mother. I’ve been lucky though, I’ve had my mum and Rich who are very supportive of me going and doing what I need to do. But my ventures and these types of work are things I absolutely love and it fills my own cup. I’m not breastfeeding anymore so I can do a few more things away – and it’s great for the kids because they have time with Dad and they love that, and he’s obviously very capable. He encourages me to get out there and exercise because I’m a better partner, friend and parent when I have.
“I’m excited for all of this – I want women to give themselves permission to get out into nature, too.”
