‘How to introduce toys into a relationship’ is a big question that so many of us ponder… Viv Conway from Girls Get Off is here to explain exactly how to do it !
Would you believe that one of the most common questions we get in the Girls Get Off DMs is “How do I introduce toys into my relationship?”
There are a million reasons couples want to bring toys into the bedroom. Maybe you’re ready to spice things up, maybe you’re curious, maybe you’ve been targeted by the frankly excellent marketing of Girls Get Off (guilty!). Whatever the reason, I’m here for it.
Obviously, the most iconic way to do it would be to whip out something like Missy mid-bang and say ‘surprise!’, but that approach probably isn’t going to work for everyone. So, here’s exactly how you can introduce toys into your relationship!
Yap, yap… and yap some more
Whether you bring it up in bed one night or over a glass of wine, it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is being open about what you’re curious about and why.
You could try something like: “I’ve been thinking it could be fun to try a toy together. What do you think?”
If you feel nervous starting the conversation, ease into it. Send them a funny GGO meme on Instagram and say something like: “we should talk about this later.” Or, casually mention something you read about toys during a conversation about sex.
You don’t need to make it a big, dramatic announcement. Sometimes a tiny opener is all it takes.
What if my partner feels intimidated by toys?
This one comes up a lot, so never fear girl. It’s completely understandable for your partner to feel this way.
The thing is, some partners hear the word “toy” and immediately assume it means they’re somehow not doing a good enough job, which is untrue and honestly makes me a little sad because a toy isn’t a competitor, it’s a teammate.
So, if your partner does feel unsure, there are a few ways to move forward, and all of them start with the big CC: clear communication.
One way to approach the situation is not to jump straight to toys at all. Instead, start with a convo about fantasies, curiosities, and what already feels good. That way, the focus is on what you’d both like to explore and why, rather than the toys themselves.
Another way to ease the pressure is by involving your partner in the process. Let them help choose the toy, get familiar with it, control the settings, or even be the one using it on you. It turns it into something you’re exploring together, not something being added instead of them.
You can also forget the whole toy thing for now and start with items that feel more familiar. Maybe that’s experimenting with a blindfold, bringing some feathers into the bedroom, or using massage oils. The point is showing that trying new things together can be playful and fun.
Really, you and your partner are the ice cream. Toys and extras are just the sprinkles. They aren’t essential, but every now and then they’re a delicious addition you might want to dabble in.
To be super clear, though: your partner is 100% allowed to say no. Just like you’re allowed to bring up curiosity around toys, they’re allowed to not feel comfortable with the idea right away, or ever.
Consent and comfort go both ways. The goal isn’t to push someone past their boundaries; it’s to keep the conversation open, respectful, and pressure-free.
Shop till ya drop
Once you’re both on the same page about exploring toys, it’s time for the fun part: shopping, also known as the most underrated form of foreplay.
Scrolling through toys together, sending each other links, debating which one looks the most fun is low-pressure, flirty, and builds anticipation in the BEST way. Then spending the next few days waiting for the package to arrive while sending each other spicy messages is hot, hot, hot.
If you’re new to toys, start simple. Bullet vibes or external vibrators are usually the easiest to introduce into partnered sex. At Girls Get Off, I always recommend starting with Missy, Polly, or Lulu.
If you’re curious about booty play, Peaches is a great beginner option too. It comes as a two-pack with different sizes, so you can ease into things without shocking the ol’ booty.
Should I try the toy alone first?
That’s completely up to you, girl!
Getting to know a toy solo can actually make things way easier when you bring it into partnered sex. You’ll already know what settings you like, what spots feel best, and how the toy works. It also takes some of the pressure off the first time you use it together. Instead of fumbling around, you can guide your partner.
Some couples love the chaos of figuring it out together for the first time. There’s something very fun about discovering what works at the same time, so just do whatever feels natural for you.
Buzz on, queen
When the toy finally arrives, and you dabble, the key is to keep communicating and keep things fun.
It can feel a little awkward at first, especially if you’re both new to it, but at the end of the day it’s called a toy for a reason. It’s meant to make things more playful, more exciting, and more fun.
If that’s not a win for everyone involved, I don’t know what is.
