Girls Get Off Co-Founder Viv Conway comes to you from the sex toy trenches in Getting Off, where no topic is off the table, no chat is taboo and everything is just a little unhinged. This week, Viv looks into the need for different toys for different bodies, and why toys designed so everyone – plus sized or super-slim – can use them are elite. Warning: it’s adults-only chat ahead!
You’ve heard of different strokes for different folks, but have you heard of different toys for pluzdifferent bodies?
Trick question, I literally just made it up. So, here’s the backstory. One fateful day last year, Jo (my biz partner) and I sat down with Constance Hall, aka a body positive legend and general champion for women, to discuss creating a collab toy. She said, “keen, but first, come learn about this cool new world with me”, and obviously, we did.
While we know our sex pillow, Bumpy Cuddles, is perfect for bods of all different shapes and sizes, we hadn’t really thought about our other types of toys until Constance. With her help, we ended up deep-diving into why “one size fits most” in sex toys is the biggest scam since low-rise jeans.
As we all know, bodies are not built from the same template. Some of us have mum tums, rock hard abs, thick thighs, thin thighs, pregnant bods, bods sitting in the “I work out but also don’t pass on cake if I feel like it”, and everything in between. That’s completely normal, it’s human – so why are most toys designed around one very specific, very slim body type?
Constance Hall
A great question and one I don’t have the exact answer to, so I’ll just blame society’s immense value on extra-slim people and praise the good lord, Constance, for introducing us (and the Girls Get Off community) to a toy made specifically for real bods of all shapes and sizes – Queenie V for anyone wondering.
If you’re in the market for a new toy or simply curious, here are our hot tips on what you need to look for in a toy, according to your bod:
First up, angles. If there’s a baby in the oven or a happy, healthy tum, between your hand and your vulva a super-short toy can feel like you’re trying to win an Olympic stretching medal just to reach comfortably. That’s why a longer handle or a curved shaft, like Queenie V, can mean the difference between effortless pleasure and accidentally pulling a hammy mid-session.
Then there’s vibration strength. A toy that feels “intense” on one body might feel more subtle on another, so, adjustable intensity is elite. Most vibes (all of ours, ofc) are made with multiple speeds and modes for that exact reason. No one wants to be stuck on gentle breeze when they’re craving thunderstorm warning.
As for harnesses, the phrase “one size fits most” has traumatised generations across multiple industries. If a harness digs into your hips, doesn’t adjust properly, or feels like it was designed with zero hip variance in mind, that’s not your body failing – that’s lazy design (and I can say that because I actually do design toys).
Look for harnesses with wider straps, longer adjustability and softer materials for basic inclusivity, because comfort equals confidence and confidence equals more passionate sex. Quick math.
Internal toys also bring up another layer. Some people with plus-size bodies prefer more length simply because external softness can make shorter insertables harder to position comfortably. Others don’t care about length at all, and want girth or a pronounced curve.
There’s no universal preference, but there are plenty of different internal toy options, like Dilly or DeeDee, or even Elle.
The bigger point here is that the sex toy industry has historically centred one kind of body in both design and marketing. Slim, flexible, like they moonlight as Pilates instructors and when that’s the default, everyone else becomes an afterthought.
When we design for a wider range of bodies, everyone wins. More options mean more experimentation. More experimentation means better sex. Better sex means happier humans, and that’s something I fully support.
So if you take anything away from this article, let it be this: if something feels awkward or hard to use, it’s not because you’re “not the right shape”; it might just be because the handle’s too short.
