Mother’s Day is hard – for so many different reasons. Now, Kiwi illustrator Ruby Jones is opening up some conversations we don’t have enough when it comes to Mother’s Day.
In our story series ‘How Are You Today?’, we have a meandering, mental-health focused chat with some of our most well-known New Zealanders. Check out previous chats with people like Hayley Holt, Kiri Allan and Jacinda Ardern.
Mother’s Day is hard for so, so many people. There’s the people who have lost their mum’s. The mum’s who are deep in the trenches of new motherhood and having some complicated feelings. The people who have strained, or no relationship with their mothers. The women who have lost their children. The women who so desperately want children. For them, the constant bombardment of ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ messaging can feel like a constant knife in the stomach.
But now, illustrator Ruby Jones – known for her beautiful, moving and empathetic imagery – has teamed up with LUSH to open up some conversations about the hard parts of Mother’s Day.
We spoke to Ruby about social media, mental health, her upbringing and the importance of kindness…
Hi Ruby! How are you today?
That is a good question. I am actually really tired today, but I’m good. I’m just juggling a few different things – and you know when your head’s a bit scattered? That’s probably how I’m feeling. But other than that, good!
Now, most of us will have been first introduced to you in what were pretty horrific circumstances, when you created that iconic, heartfelt illustration of two women hugging in the wake of the Christchurch terror attack. It’s hard to believe that was more than six years ago now. At the time, it was such a beautiful thing to have this image of unity and empathy that people could look to and share to show their support for the Muslim community and show a sense of unity in the face of such evil. Looking back on it now, how do you feel?
It still feels surreal. Even though it’s all these years later, I feel like that experience was just… completely life changing for me. That illustration just took on this life of its own and that was really beautiful to watch.
I’ve thought a lot about it lately and the fact that I don’t know if that would still happen now, in terms of the internet and how fast paced things are now. I think that was just the right image at the right time and people gave it time to sit with it, which was really beautiful. It was obviously one of our worst days in New Zealand’s history, but I felt so honoured that it created or encouraged the conversation around kindness and how to hold on. How loving and together we all were in the aftermath was a beautiful thing.
That’s such an interesting point about the speed of everything now. I remember those sweet times during lockdown and in the aftermath where the pace of life slowed right down – suddenly being “busy” was no longer this badge of honour that it used to be. But you’re right, we’ve sped right up again – we’re even faster. What’s that like in your field of work, where people have this Tiktok attention span?
We got so good at it when we had to – when we were forced to slow down, but yes, now it’s faster than ever. I’ve found it hard to navigate. I almost feel so confused about where to go with it! When you’re an artist and your biggest love in the world is just drawing, it’s hard. The thing now always seems to be that it needs to be a video, but I just haven’t found a place yet where I feel natural doing that. I’m sure I’ll get there eventually, but it’s a bizarre space to find yourself in, when that really doesn’t come natural to you, speaking to the camera or filming everything you do!
Oh I hear you! Now, I can’t tell you how excited I was when I saw these beautiful cards you’ve created for LUSH. Mother’s Day is difficult for so many people for just such a wide array of reasons, yet… that’s something we rarely hear about? Instead we’re all just bombarded about it coming up (you suddenly realise how many different email sign-ups you have!). So, it is just so wonderful that you’ve made these cards and we can give them to people for whom this is tricky, to show them that we see them. Can you tell me a bit more about them and where the idea and inspirations came from?
Oh thank you so much! So, LUSH reached out to me with the idea that they were going to talk to their community about cards they felt were missing on the shelves when it comes to Mother’s Day. It’s so often just that ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’ which doesn’t fit for everyone!
I think if your mum is still around and things are wonderful for you, you might not necessarily think of how challenging that day can be for other people.
LUSH wanted to highlight these themes that are less common in cards. The top three themes that came through were around new mums, the loss of a mum or motherly figure, and then grieving a child. So, obviously those are some really big themes and topics! I thought of my friends who have lost parents and friends who have lost children, or really struggled to have children. I spoke to a couple of them about what they’d like to see in a card and what kind of imagery would speak to them. It was just about striking that right not that would make people feel seen when they saw these cards or would make them feel less alone during what can be an incredibly difficult time for a lot of people.
Totally. That’s always something that stands out to me in your work – how much empathy and kindness there is in it, but how you can also find this beauty in the most challenging of situations. Where does that come from? Have you always been a deeply empathetic person?
I think I’ve always been an empathetic person and I’ve always been aware that when I see a piece of work that really speaks to me, I get to have that feeling of ‘oh, it’s not just me in this’. So I think that’s just always been an important part of my work and has been important to me from quite a young age.
What do you do to look after your own mental health? What’s in your own personal toolbox?
I think there’s a couple of key things that I recognise now that I do! One, is phone calls. I’m a huge fan of a phone call. I rty and see people I love as often as I can but we all live busy lives and are often in different places, so I make sure that every day I have a phone call with someone I love. I think that just helps me feel connected. It grounds you a bit if you’re having a chaotic day.
The other thing I do is – and I think this word is unfortunately definitely overused! – but having gratiude for even the smallest things. I have tried to weave that into my thought process throughout the day, so when I wake up I’ll think about how lucky I am to make a hot cup of tea in the morning, or how lucky I am to sleep in a bed at night. I just wave those thoughts into my day. And it doesn’t mean that I’m never stressed, or sad – it just helps to put things into perspective and helps me to feel more balanced.
I love this approach of weaving it throughout the day. I so often hear the advice of keeping a gratitude journal, but this sounds quite a different, wonderful way to do it.
Yes! When I did start doing it, I was really aware of doing it – then, I just started doing it so often that it just became something I do really naturally! I’d definitely encourage people to try!
I’m definitely going to give it a go! Now, you spoke a little at the beginning of our chat about encouraging conversations around kindness. Why is that so important to you? Why do you the world could do with more of it?
I grew up with parents who are just the kindest, most generous people in the universe. I only ever saw them being kind and valuing that – and always thinking about people who had less. To me, growing up like that, it doesn’t feel like something we should even think twice about – like, duh, of course we should all be kinder all of the time.
But I think especially in today’s world, it feels like we need it more than ever. I think especially with social media we’re able to just see the worst of everything all the time. That feels like a lot of negativity and a lot of hatred towards one another. I think kindness is a strength. It’s so important to me – all I ever want to be is kind. I think that’s why this campaign totally spoke to me too, because LUSH is an incredibly kind company with a lot of brilliant ethics and values which really align with me and how I want to be as well.
What do you do to fill your cup? How do you charge your batteries? Maybe staying away from the hellscape that is social media is likely to be one of your go-tos?
[Laughs] yes, I think staying away from social media as much as I can is important! I also thinkg, there’s just a lot of little things that bring me joy. Or, making really simple things just lovely – even if it’s as simple as a bubble bath, or lighting some candles and putting on music and reading a book. Drawing in a great space with a cup of tea. Going and reading outside somewhere! There’s no big particularly special thing that I do – I just like to fill my days and my lives with the little things I love and valuing that for me as well. I feel so much better when I’m rested and recharged and have done the things that make me feel better, so I try and prioritise that every day.
Can you tell me about what else we might be seeing from you coming up? I know you have your children’s book with Dame Jacinda Ardern that I’m very excited about coming up!
Yes, so that book – Mum’s Busy Work – is out in September, which is really exciting. That’s the first time I’ve ever worked on a children’s book. It has been such an honour and I’m really excited for that to come out. I’ve always wanted to work in the children’s book space, so I feel like that area is my focus at the moment.
Oh, we can’t wait to read it Ruby! Thanks for the chat and thanks again for these beautiful cards – I’m so excited to use them for Sunday. I hope they’re going to start a few conversations and have people think about the people in their lives for whom Mother’s Day might be quite difficult. Hopefully talk soon!
Thanks so much – that means the world!
The three beautiful LUSH cards are complimentary with the purchase of a gift set or knot wrap in all Lush stores around the country.
