Spoiler alert – romance is BACK! Capsule sits down with our pals at Bumble to chat through 2025’s biggest dating trends and ways to help you navigate through your hot girl summer and how to date in *these times*
Guys, GREAT news if you’re dating right now because 2025 is heralding in HUGE changes to what Kiwis are looking for on the old apps – and it’s a welcome time if you’re looking for your lobster.
It might be the year of the snake (bad omen for dating!?) but 2025 might as well be the year of the wahine toa when it comes to dating, according to the experts at Bumble who reckon that women are now very clear about what they want and need – and what they’re not willing to tolerate. How to date? Be yourself!
Following a year of dating reassessment, learnings and frustrations (many, many frustrations…) conversations about dating have gotten real. But single people haven’t given up on finding a relationship, they are more determined, with nearly 3 in 4 (72%) globally looking to find a long-term partner in the next year. However, the level of tolerance has shifted, with nearly 2 in 3 women (64%) saying they are being more honest with themselves and no longer making compromises.
Here’s Bumble’s top six dating trends for 2025 at a glance – if you’re thinking of getting back on the apps, or putting yourself out into the dating world, give these six starting points a go (and it’s great news if you’re a self-proclaimed ‘geek’!)
1. Micro-mance: From embracing the cringe and PDA to rom-coms and a new adoration for meet-cutes, romance is making a comeback in 2025: over half (52%) of women globally are self-proclaimed romantics who LOVE love and for 1 in 3 (37%) women, a lack of romance has had a negative impact on their dating lives.
2. DWM (Date With Me): From dating GRWM’s, live-streamed break-ups, post-date debriefs, hard launches, relationship “tests,” and Dating Wrapped, dating has become our new favourite reality show. Bumble predicts this growing social media bubble of embracing a new real-ness will be even more relevant in 2025: 2 in 5 (41%) singles are celebrating more authentic dating and relationship content showing not only the highs but also the lows, serving as a ‘window’ to the broader dating experience
3. On The Same (Fan) Page: A shared love of sports ruled 2024, but beyond sports, the rise of micro-communities (book clubs and run clubs), fandom (hello Taylor and Charli), and niche interests (CosPlay, gaming & streaming) are taking over our social feeds. It’s also changing who and how we date, with nearly half (46%) of singles stating that unique and quirky interests are now key to attraction- half (49%) of Gen Z singles agree that geeking out on something together is a form of intimacy.
4. Male-Casting: From babygirls, to men in finance and the return of the “hunk,” male archetypes have exploded in pop culture with a wider conversation on how we identify ideal (or less ideal) characteristics. 1 in 3 (34%) agree that this year there have been more conversations than ever on male stereotypes.
5. Future-Proofing: In today’s world, uncertainty about the future is playing into our love lives. The overwhelming majority of singles (95%) say their worries about the future are impacting who and how they date. For a majority (59%) of women, increasing concerns about the future are leading them to place more value on stability, and looking ahead, singles can expect these conversations to be more top of mind from the get-go, with 1 in 4 (27%) women pushing these topics to be discussed earlier than before.
6. Guys That Get It: From the group chats to pre and post-date hype, when it comes to dating, there is a new friend filter ascending, the rise of the guy best friend. Nearly a third (31%) of single women say they are more open with their male friends than they used to be about their dating lives, indicating a shift towards men engaging with their friends in a healthy way and becoming a more significant part of their support network.
To explore these trends and predictions, we asked Bumble’s Corporate Communications Director, Lucille McCart, and psycho-sexologist Chantelle Otten their thoughts – read on for our wide-ranging interview!
Capsule: Kia ora guys – WOOOSH, what a list of trends! So while last year was all about the ‘do what you want to do’ with no strings or commitments, it feels like we’ve morphed more into people wanting to look for something more long-term?
Lucille: Yeah, there’s more people than ever who are indicating that they want something more serious or long-term, and who are being really open about that – and in that same vein, they’re having bigger conversations earlier.
Chantelle: I wonder if it’s actually because of 2024 when we were like, we’re going to be *free*, we’re going to be out in the world – but then we realise that perhaps goals were not set and we needed a bit more of the opposite. I think for a lot of people, the focus of their future is coming into focus for them – there was a lot of self-work in the past few years, and now it seems there’s a bit more accountability.
Lucille: Yeah, it’s a bit of futureproofing coming in this year, and going into 2025 asking the big questions.
Capsule: I mean, what a time for futureproofing, especially in this political and international climate… there’s a lot going on that I guess you need to talk about, but having different political opinions doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, right?
Lucille: There’s a perception that you can’t date across a political divide – I don’t think that’s true. There are some points you do need to be aligned on, and those are the ones that will affect your relation, or how you’ll raise kids, for example if you’re with someone who doesn’t have the same views on the LGBT community, then that could affect things. Where you need to be aligned is where politics and values intersect.
Chantelle: Politics and parenting are probably some of the hardest topics to navigate – I see that a lot in therapy.
Capsule: That leads a lot into what I wanted to talk about regarding vulnerability – are we seeing deeper levels of it happening far earlier on, and should people be using vulnerability as a bit of a super-power?
Lucille: If you’re dating in your 30s, typically you’re gearing up for that ‘big’ relationship – the one you have kids with, a house, that whole thing. There’s the perception that you have less time to make those decisions, so some women in their 30s are like, ‘ok, I want to have a family, so I need to do it at X age, so if I’m dating someone and I’m coming up to this time, I need to know about this big stuff sooner’ – so that’s where a lot of vulnerability comes in.
Whereas people in their 40s who are single might have had that big relationship, or they’re no longer in the place in their life where they’re wanting those things, which frees up brain space and freedom. Either way, women are more empowered to get what they want.
Capsule: Which must be so empowering to see in the statistics that are coming through! If we had to sum up these trends and predictions, doesn’t it all come down to people being empowered to simply be themselves?
Lucille: Exactly – do you think that means people have been listening to us?! [Laughs]
Chantelle: I mean I’d like to think so!
Lucille: My view on it all is that people are feeling more comfortable at being vulnerable and being open. I definitely think women are more comfortable at talking about kids and parenting, which is fantastic – whereas previously bringing up topics like that might have been more of a concern to the relationship.
Chantelle: It’s like, women are saying ‘I want a lot more’. I want more right now, and I want someone who’s also going to be on that journey with me – someone who’s ambitious, someone who’s forward thinking. A lot of people are really leaning into someone who is motivated to also grow with them as well and change. So it is a quite a shift from the more free-spirited dating trends of 2024. People are really looking for safety and security.
Capsule: What’s your favourite trend?
Lucille: I know Chantelle’s favourite is all about romance – she’s soppy! But I love the futureproofing – for a very long time women were socialsied to feel that they couldn’t ask for what they wanted, their opinions or anything – all that mattered was getting the guy, and then you had to do the old bait and switch on him to say, ‘this is me’. And then they’re like, what!?
Capsule: It’s like the ‘cool girl’ monologue from Gone Girl, right!? (If you haven’t watched it, Jeeeeeesus it’s the most relatable thing you’ll ever hear a psychopath say)
Lucille: Yes! Well she look it too far! I spent so much of 20s trying to be the cool girl, trying to be the low maintenance, ‘I can look after myself’ girl. Now, actually, if I’m going to be in a relationship with someone, they do need to bring something – and if you’re not willing to bring that, then I’m fine by myself.
Chantelle: We’re not making compromises anymore, and we’re being true to ourselves and what we want. I love the romance trend because I think there was a time in dating where people weren’t bringing the romance. Now, maybe because of social media, romantic gestures – like people showing gifts they’ve gotten or love letters they’ve gotten – is influencing people towards romance and I’m so about that. I think it’s super important to make the person you’re dating feel very valued and seen and cared for. Of course it depends on your love language, and I would encourage everyone to get to know their love language more.
Do you have any advice for a Kiwi girl who’s thinking about putting herself back out there, or one who’s still trying to find her ‘one’ on dating apps?
Lucille: First and foremost, dating is meant to be fun. It’s about meeting new people and giving different types of people a chance, and being your authentic self. It’s so easy to take it very seriously – especially if you’re in that place of wanting to find your big relationship, but it’s about finding your own balance and having fun with the person in front of you. Have an abundance mindset and have confidence in your ability to build connections with people.
Approaching things with a scarcity mindset – like ‘oh, there’s no good guys out there’ – can lead you down a negative path from the get go, and you might get into a situation where you cling onto a person who’s not right for you, or you might get burnt out. There’s a lot of negative dating content right now, and it’s so great to have an online community to share your band experiences and know you’re not the only one! But if you’re only consuming negative dating content, it’ll skew your own attitude towards it. It’s important to balance the perceptions you’re feeding yourself.
