Some weeks are harder than others to keep pretending it’s business as usual.
I’ll be honest with you, as wonderful as working for Capsule is, the almost two years of working here have been some of the most challenging for me, creatively, as I look to write ‘fresh new takes’ on a world that is increasingly despairing to be a part of.
In a previous life of working for magazines, there were plenty of difficult topics that we all covered but they were covered for what they were: news events. But the pandemic et al brings with it a greater understanding of the mental health toll that accompanies such times (‘Would you like an existential crisis with that?’).
Case in point: Two weeks ago, I wrote a piece about the protests that was so depressing I couldn’t bring myself to publish it, because I don’t find the protests amusing, or post-satire, or whatever clever way we’re dressing up that particular clusterf**k. I find it sad and scary, and no amount of tin-foil hats or marriages-between-mullets is enough to distract me from the fact that people are continuing to use pro-Nazi, pro-terror attack language, while they literally shit on our government.
Then this morning I wrote a piece about the ‘Memeification of the War’, following the devastating invasion of Ukraine and the thousands of unhelpful at best, racist at worse opinions/hot takes that followed. Turns out, that was also too depressing to publish (it’s a miracle to write anything these days, honestly).
Life can change on a dime but we’re all constantly having to pretend that it’s business as normal, even though we left ‘normal’ behind a long time ago.
I dare say that there’s a hell of a lot of us having the same issue, no matter our chosen careers – how do you drum up enthusiasm to educate kids, to run planning meetings, to worry about Q2 earnings on days when the words ‘nuclear high alert’ run across the headlines and you watch people, yet again, trying to flee their country in terror by any means necessary. It was planes in Afghanistan. It’s trains in the Ukraine. Life can change on a dime but we’re all constantly having to pretend that it’s business as normal, even though we left ‘normal’ behind a long time ago.
The world seems split between the people who are reading everything and getting overwhelmed by it all, and the people who are reading nothing and therefore can’t understand the general malaise felt by everyone else. I don’t know what the happy balance is, but I do know that I haven’t found it – and I don’t think I’m alone in this.
So what’s the solution about how to actually keep functioning as an adult, in times like these when you really wish you could just pause the world for a while? Well. I have some gentle suggestions.
Step 1: Don’t feel like you have to keep calm and carry on.
One of the biggest threads I’ve noticed in almost every single mental health-related interview I’ve ever done is that a lot of our own misery comes down to thinking ‘everyone else is handling this better than me.’
A lot of people think that – heck, I’d actually wager most people think that, it’s just no-one really says it. And when they do, it’s over a glass of wine with girlfriends when someone ‘jokingly’ goes, “Sometimes I just think I’m losing my mind, lol.” And then someone else will add their own hilarious joke, like, “Sometimes, I scream-cry in the shower!” or “Sometimes I just want to crawl into bed for three straight days and speak to no-one, hahaha I’m so crazy.” And then there’s that shared look of sisterhood that keeps you warm for a good few days (it is considerably less effective in a group chat, I will say).
Imagine if we didn’t joke, or drink, or meme our way through yet another world crisis, or another Covid-19 peak. Imagine if we could say to our bosses, or our loved ones, or our friends, “I’m really struggling today and the world feels a bit much, and I feel helpless and overwhelmed.” And we didn’t try and come up with a solution just yet, we just allowed ourselves to be a bit sad and a bit scared.
Step 2: Rest.
Remember in the early few weeks of the pandemic where (parents of small children and the newly redundant aside), there was a real move to slow down a bit, take those daily walks, enjoy the sunshine. Well, we’re now at the stage of the pandemic where it’s like “Yes, I know you have Covid-19 but sorry, a deadline is still a deadline,” even though we still have no end date in sight and everyone’s coping mechanisms are a lot more frayed than they were two years ago.
‘We’re now at the stage of the pandemic where it’s like “Yes, I know you have Covid-19 but sorry, a deadline is still a deadline.”‘
Those simple, daily tools that we employed in the beginning are still as powerful as they ever were: go for a walk, get some sunlight, chat to your friends, do an online yoga class. Treat this like it’s a global pandemic, because it still is.
Step 3: Help
If you have enough money to comfortably pandemic prep, consider donating for those who don’t. Maybe there’s a food bank donation at your local supermarket you can add to. There might be a local food bank that will desperately need your support, here are some good places to start.
If the footage coming out of the Ukraine is overwhelming you, consider donating money to those in need. And/or support the many refugees we currently have in this country, who have also fled war-torn situations and who also need help.
If cooking helps you in stressful times, you can put those skills to work with organisations like Good Bitches Baking or Bellyful. Or maybe you can put your money where your mouth is and buy some treats from hospitality places that need our support more than ever. Buy a coffee for the person behind you. Drop off some (wrapped!) chocolates to your local emergency care or vaccination centre. Offer to buy groceries for your elderly neighbour, or your stressed-out friend.
But also: don’t just leap straight from step one to step three without acknowledging step two in the middle: you also need some time to pause. You are also a person, and you also need to be looked after. A good rule of thumb I have kept in mind over the past two years is ‘assume everyone is one bad day away from a nervous breakdown and act accordingly’. It’s also a good rule of thumb to use towards yourself, as well. How can we be a human in a world like this? With great care.
