Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Ok Team, The Cheese Is Sliding Off the Cracker So For the Love of God Go Ahead & Treat Yourself

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The books we're reading, the vibrators we're using, the rants we're having and more in our weekly EDM.

Kelly Bertrand ALMOST has a lockdown meltdown – but then remembers to find the joy in the little things. So, shopping.

It’s day one billion of lockdown.

We’ve started talking to the plants. Pink hair dye is fast becoming a ‘good idea’. You’re now an expert at substituting missing ingredients in a recipe for all the weird stuff at the back of the pantry that you’ve never used.

Things are just niggly at the moment, and that’s completely normal. Things are also stressful, stretched and sometimes a little sad.

It’s a laugh-or-you’ll-cry kind of vibe, and as my mate Laura wrote on Instagram the other day, the cheese is well and truly sliding off the cracker, especially in Auckland where we’re just one stupid North Shore situation away from forming a flat white-fuelled lynch mob.

I was feeling the niggly vibes myself today as I stood in the middle of my lounge with absolutely no idea of what to do. I COULD clear out the black hole that is my inbox. I COULD hang out those wet clothes. I COULD start that edgy cross stitch kit I bought in the last lockdown (It says Live Laugh Fuck Off and I have no idea why I find it so hilarious). But I literally couldn’t move because I was so confused about what I SHOULD be doing.

So instead of doing any of it, I lit a candle. If you’re a fastidious reader of Capsule, first, thanks. And second, you’ll know that I’m obsessed with scent – home fragrance, people fragrance (I’m sure that’s what the pros call it too) and everything in between. And for 10 glorious minutes, I just sat with my coffee and enjoyed my favourite candle of the moment – Circa’s Oceanique which, if you haven’t smelt it, you simply MUST).

And I realised if there was ever a time to treat ourselves, it’s now. Wallets are tighter with the pandemic and nerves are more frayed – but the simple act of indulging in a little thing that gives me so much joy meant that at least, just for a little while, I could forget about 1pm briefings and hand sanitiser and that sense of impending doom (ok that’s a little dramatic I admit).

So here are five little things you could treat yourself with today:

Well it obviously has to be Circa’s Oceanique candle. They’re the new kids on the home fragrance block for us Kiwis, but Jesus, they know how to make a good scent. They’re all about making home fragrance accessible but still chic and my minimalist soul loves the uncomplicated vibe. And if you’re stuck somewhere away from the ocean, can I suggest you hot-foot here to get your fill.

Summer is coming. It IS. So for me and my girlfriends, socially distanced or not, that means rosé all day baby, and I’m not opposed to hopping on that vibe early. So I’ll be running to the supermarket and picking up a bottle of Villa Maria’s EarthGarden rosé because it’s impossible to languish when you’re sipping on the flavours of summer ($19.99 a bottle).


Buy a ridiculous book. I don’t mean a shit book, I mean a good book full of ridiculousness that’s improbable, implausible and wondrously delightful to get lost in. We have a great new book club read coming this Sunday, but if you’re after something right now, check out the book that started my obsession with Rege-Jean Page, The Duke and I, or an unputdownable thriller like False Witness.

Send yourself some flowers. They’re beautiful, they’re optimistic, and artfully arranging them in a vase will eat up 15 minutes or so. Plus, you can play New Zealand’s new favourite game, ‘Let’s Wait for the Courier’ in anticipation. Head to Feel Good with Flowers to find a retailer.

Order something that you’ll use in lockdown and after. This’ll change depending on what you’re into, but I’m desperate for some new sunglasses after seeing the horrific lines beginning to form around my eyes and also after I realised if you’re careful with your choices, they can cover up sad, neglected eyebrows that are desperate for a post-lockdown going over. If this is you too (#solidarity), then head to Specsavers for a wee peruse – I’m going with these Marc Jacobs beauties.

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