What are the good things about being an older mum? We often hear the doom and gloom about having kids later in life (there’s nothing quite like that ‘geriatric pregnancy’ label!), but, it turns out, there’s a lot of positives about having kids later on. Here, 9Honey’s Tiffany Wood shares her experiences, having had her first child at 29 and her last at 41.
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I was reading a comment thread on Instagram the other day regarding “late age” pregnancy.
Apparently you’re twice as likely to live to 95 or older when you have children after the age of 33, AND women who gave birth after 40 were four times more likely to live to be 100.
I got so excited, because not only were four of my children born when I was 35, 37, 38 and 39, I also birthed my last little gremlin when I was 41 – so it looks like I’m living a LONGGGG life.
(If my kids don’t drive me crazy and I die from stress.)
But it got me thinking about how some women may be worried they’re getting too old to have kids – not in a fertility way, but in a ‘too old’ way.
Of course, a lot is dependent on your fertility, etc, but I’m living proof that older mums can do it, multiple times.’
In fact, my great-grandma Winifred (pictured with some of her kids) had 14 kids – five girls first and nine boys after – and we worked out she was pretty much pregnant or birthing for 20 years straight. What a powerhouse.
She died of cervical cancer – it’s something I get checked regularly. Maybe I get my fertility and child-bearing hips from her.
It’s been an interesting journey as a “geriatric mum”. Yep, that’s what the doctor affectionately called me when I was birthing my last child because I was over 40.
It’s a term I think should be struck off the hospital terminology list, as it may offend older birthing mummas. I mean, really – geriatric? ARGH!!!
But if being called geriatric means I get to possibly live longer, then I’m all for it.
Because I had my first child just before I turned 30, I feel have a good experience on both ends to compare younger-ish vs. older mums.
Here are a few things I think are better as an older mumma.
1. I had a better sense of self, values, morals and how I wanted to teach my kids about them. When I was younger they were there, but not 100 per cent solid.
2. I was more confident in myself as an older mum. I didn’t care as much about what people thought, whether that be how I looked, the choices I made or how I chose to bring up my kids. When I was younger I felt a bit more pressure to follow society’s norms
3. I had more confidence to say no to the doctors and tell them my wishes or what I thought instead of relying on them – although it took me until baby five to do that.
4. I was more financially stable, so could go private health for birthing, have time off and afford things I needed, especially in emergencies – something I couldn’t do as much when I was younger mum.
5. I was much more resilient. When I was younger, when the going got tough I was a mess, but as an older mum I’m a whizz at multitasking and resilient AF.
6. Emotional maturity and life experience. As a younger mum, I went into parenthood with my head still in the clouds and had no idea what I was doing. As an older mumma, I feel the extra years of life experience and emotional stability helped me be a better mum.
I mean, the list can go on and on (and, of course, there are negatives) but I’m limited to how many words I can write and wanted to keep this a positive piece.
But I really hope when weighing up whether to have children at a younger vs. older age that, if you are able to, you don’t write off being an older mum – and if able to, you can choose what’s right for you.
I’m a big believer that there’s never a “right” time, and both ages were great. But there is definitely a place for us older mummas and we should be shouting it loud and proud.
This article was reproduced with permission from 9Honey. To read the original article, click here.
