How to make time for yourself as a mum? When Tukapa Rugby Club offered free childcare, Taranaki mum Atalya Fakavamoeanga finally found something that was just hers. Featured in No Tears on the Field, her story is a great reminder that doing something for yourself as a mum is the least selfish thing you can do.
As a mama of three, Atalya Fakavamoeanga found something she could do just for herself – rugby.
What convinced her was that the women’s team at Tukapa Rugby club offered free childcare for the games. During training, tamariki were welcome and had a designated play area.
(Isn’t that just EPIC? Offering free childcare so mothers can have the same opportunities as men?! Why isn’t this normal?)
“Growing up, I played a bit of rugby [in high school], and then once you have kids, your life just changes and you shift everything to focus on the kids,” she says.
“Having your own time to do things, like going back to sport and being supported with childcare, that was really transformative.
“It was easy for me to go back to rugby because there was so much support for all of us.”
Free Childcare Making Space for Mums
Atalya is featured on No Tears on the Field, a documentary directed by Lisa Burd (The Pinkies are Back) that follows grassroots women’s rugby in Taranaki for two years.
It’s not just a sports documentary – any good sports documentary rarely ever is. It captures the dedication, brute strength, and undeniable grit of female athletes playing a “man’s sport” – propped up by the solid bond and love of whānau and community.
The free childcare didn’t just allow Atalya back on the field, it brought other mums too. They trained together, brought their kids together and somewhere in between, established a real sisterhood outside the game.
“Our bond as a team was so strong that we would be hanging out with each other outside of rugby all the time.
“It was nice to have something for myself the kids could be a part of.”
Balancing Motherhood and Personal Goals
Since filming wrapped, Atayla’s world has kept expanding.
On top of playing rugby, she’s now studying full-time to become a nurse, running her photography business and raising her three kids with her partner – who works night shifts at the port.
Asked what a typical day is like juggling so much, she says, “I’m quite used to chaos, I seem to thrive in it.”
“I wake up early in the morning and we do the kids’ lunches. My two kids are in kindy and my oldest is in school. Getting them ready and then getting myself ready – depends if my partner’s had to work at night or not – will be the two of us doing the drop offs. It’s a lot just making things work.”
After drop-offs she goes straight to campus for her course. Once that’s over, it’s school pick-ups and homework – hers and the kids – dinner, and if weather permits, a sunset photoshoot with a client.
“I’ve had to stick to a routine,” she says, “and I haven’t really ever been a routine person, but now I’ve got no other choice.”
Prioritising Herself Makes Her a Better Mum
Somewhere inside her already packed schedule, Atalya also started to take her fitness to another level – something she’s first to admit she once pushed down to the bottom of her priorities.
The inspiration loops back to her kids. “I think of it as trying to live healthier so that I can do more with my kids. I’ve got [more] energy, I can keep up with them, stay healthier for them … encourage them to want to be healthy as well.”
Earlier this year, she competed in HYROX Auckland – the global functional fitness race that’s currently taking over the world. She set a goal for herself, and was glad to report she “smashed” out that goal, too.
While her life may seem full on, it’s a life that’s extremely grateful for. “I always remind myself that this is what I wanted two or three years ago. That’s been a really good drive for me.”
How Doing Something for Yourself as a Mum Is Never Selfish
Wanting to do things for yourself as a mum can feel selfish, or what we at Capsule know well as mum guilt.
Atalya says she used to feel that too. That hesitation to do something just for herself, to shift careers later in life, or to take time for herself.
“I always thought, how am I going to make it work? But I think part of being a mum is just always making it work. You have to prioritise yourself. You can’t keep giving from an empty cup,” she says.
“When I have time to myself – I play rugby, I get to work out – I’m happier. When I’m happier, my whole house is happy.
“I always feel like the mum is the heart of the home.”
No Tears on the Field are in theatres nationwide from Thursday, March 19, 2026.
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About the Author:
Vivien Beduya is a video journalist and content creator at Capsule. She’s most passionate about inclusive storytelling that centres underserved communities, women’s health, mental health, travel, food and the ways technology shapes our everyday lives. She made a bold (and terrifying) career switch to journalism in her late 20s after years across banking, insurance and travel.
She’s worked for NewstalkZB and TVNZ’s youth news platform Re: News, and has also been published on 1News, NZ Herald, and Stuff. She was selected by the Asia New Zealand Foundation as an emerging journalist for the Splice Beta 2025 delegation in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Vivien lives in Auckland with her partner, close(ish) to the beach, and is always on the hunt for Auckland’s best affordable eats.
You can read other stories by Vivien here or email her here.
