Kim Crossman is officially a new mum. We’ve had the incredible honour of getting to share her pregnancy journey here at Capsule through her column, Pretty Pregnant. Well, Kim is proud to announce she is no longer Pretty Pregnant – she has welcomed her precious first baby: a darling little girl.
We all know Kim as someone who is Type A, so, it comes as little surprise that within hours of welcoming her little girl, she’s already written up a column all about it. So here it is, Kim’s whirlwind 72 hours, which has seen her become a mum to a precious little girl. Congratulations Kim and Tom! And welcome Coco. We love you all so much.
It’s a privilege to share with you all what the last seventy two hours has looked like and introduce you to our perfect daughter, Coco Joan Walsh.
The amazing community here has walked with me all the way from miscarriage, fertility struggles, conception, pregnancy and now it felt important to also share the journey of birth, which all mothers won’t be too surprised to hear went nothing like I had anticipated or planned or hoped, but actually became the most magical path it could have taken.
We are calling the last twenty four hours my “buffet of birth” because besides a c section, I think I managed to tick off almost everything else on offer when it comes to birthing experiences.
So, let me take you back to seventy two hours ago when I went in for my now weekly check-ups with the amazing Richard Pole from Origins. I have loved being pregnant, had very few unmanageable symptoms and was planning for another quick but pleasant ‘scan, measure, high-five and go’ appointment. I
happened to mention, only because I was hoping for a prescription for a better antihistamine, that I had had itchy feet the past few days. Because my blood pressure was normal, nothing seemed too concerning, but itchy feet – I have since learned – is a symptom of preeclampsia and another liver disease that can be concerning in the third trimester, so I went to get some blood work.
At 10:15pm I got a call saying my liver levels were elevated, to get some sleep and to come and get checked in the morning. After a second round of blood work and another significant spike in levels, the conversation and birth plan (which was essentially me hoping to just “raw dog it” and “baby would come when he or she is ready”) became an unsafe option and induction was now on the table. Wanting to avoid any emergency situations, I felt the most empowering thing to do was surrender, start the process and hope that my body would catch up to the cues of intervention and things would begin on their own.
I got a stretch and sweep and was later admitted to hospital to get a balloon inserted to help encourage the cervix to open. I was already 2cm dilated and the goal was to leave the balloon in overnight and hope that it would help move things along.
I talked to my good friend and NET therapist in America to set some good vibes and intentions and really try to feel empowered by the process. I didn’t want my body or my baby to resist the new plan or the interventions, but rather catch up and join the process. So much of this journey to motherhood has been about mindset for me and I knew in order to enjoy and be present in the journey, I couldn’t already feel disappointed or hesitant before things even began, just because things were taking a pivot from my desired plan.
Overnight I started to experience some contractions, meaning my body was responding to the balloon yay! Thank you body!
I tried the gas to get the balloon inserted and I mention this because as someone who hates not feeling in control and wasn’t even going to try the gas at all during any of this journey, it did help me relax.
Paired with my OB, my husband and the nurse also blasting In Da Club by 50 Cent, which is a memory that will forever be cemented in my brain as one of the funniest and most delightful memories of the entire process. I wanted my birth to be calm and playful and have humour. Although even in these early hours it was not how I pictured it, it was playing out in another equally magical way.
Post balloon I was 4cm dilated with a thin flat cervix and was having small contractions on my own. It was time to break my waters. What a cool feeling! Magic warm wees and an almost euphoric release, I loved it!
Because of my now third time increasing liver levels we made the decision to give me a very light dose of a hormone to help move things along a bit, and hope my body and baby would join us in the process.
I also want to caveat that through this whole journey I had really hoped to have a vaginal birth. I totally understand that c-sections are great and for so many a wonderful option, and while I knew given my new conditions of preeclampsia and a possible other liver condition related to birth, the chances of me ending up with a c-section were high and on the table, I wanted to at least give labour and vaginal birth a go if my body and baby were able.
Well, it felt like from this moment things ramped up significantly! I went from a few contractions to many, increasing in intensity, and went from 4cm to 7cm in two hours and Miss “I’m going to raw dog it” became Miss “I would like an epidural” very fast. I was struggling with the intensity and the minimal breaks between contractions. I wanted my body and baby to keep up and they most certainly did, we were well underway.
The epidural did slow things down a bunch and when I was checked baby had turned, so another back to the drawing board situation. I had the option to pause and hope that with the epidural and contractions and some choreography with midwife Sally, praying, positive affirmations and some encouraging words, we might be able to will the baby into moving back into position. There was about a two hour window where I would most likely reach full dilation and would need baby in the right position if I wanted to attempt to push him or her out.
After two hours of crazy pressure on my spine, when I was next checked, baby had very obediently returned to a good position, I was fully dilated and ready to push.
I did have a little cry first as I knew now the real work was going to begin and I was already pretty shattered. I knew what I needed to do and what I wanted to do, but had a wave of self doubt not knowing if I had anything in the tank to achieve what I knew was necessary.
A few hig- fives later and it was time to go. Pushing for a long time then took a bit of a turn when my temperature took a significant leap. And this is where I want to especially thank my husband and OB Richard for keeping super cool so I could mirror their energy.
The issue with a spiking temperature is a risk of sepsis. My temperature kept jumping and because I had dehydrated myself I needed some fluids and antibiotics, asap. Something fun to know about me: I have shit veins. Getting a line in me became a six person emergency and baby was starting to mirror my panic and also get distressed.
Sepsis protocol means you need to have medication to avoid getting sepsis or your condition developing into sepsis. The conversation then became: how do we get baby and me to the next stage as quickly and as safely as possible.
I wanted to still try to achieve a vaginal birth, with the possibility of an instrumental birth or choose a c-section. I wanted to try to push baby out and accepted my fate that that might mean being cut, and that was still no guarantee we wouldn’t end up needing a c section.
Tom scrubbed up, we kept the vibes high and were transferred to theatre. The full team, the bright lights, the formality and the now high risk situation was a far cry from my birth plan which included minimal intervention and little to no pain relief, ha ha!
I was now on almost all the possible medication and drugs needed for a full scale operation and had arrived at the most important moment of my life, to push like my life and my baby’s life depended on it… because it literally did.
Normally, apparently a forcep delivery is done with one attempt. We had to do it in three and poor baby has a few bruises to show for it, but she made it, loud and dramatic like her mother.
Tom was the first to see it was a girl and I will never forget the moment he saw her.
I couldn’t see her yet, but his eyes welled and he said “we have a daughter” and my heart exploded and melted at the same time.
He cut the cord, she was weighed and then after many many stitches later we were sent to recovery and not too long afterwards able to get baby Coco to latch and then show her off to the family.
I am sure as I begin to recover and come back to earth I will be able to share more about the day and the build up and the first few days with our most precious daughter, but I wanted to update you all in real time as everyone following has been such a big part of this journey I didn’t want to wait to share the good news.
Thank you all for your love and support. We are off to Birth Care tonight on recommendation from so many of you and will look forward to a few days of healing and learning together as a family.
x
Photo credit – Nosy Parker – Libby Jean
