Welcome to Pretty Pregnant with Kim Crossman – this week, Kim’s just had her baby shower (which she organised herself, and went very non-traditional for!), she’s back in NZ and has a lot to update you on and that she’d love some advice on. She’s at the nesting stage (and is feeling a little stressed about everything there is to do and learn), has had a 3D scan, some weird boob stuff happening and is trying to find a balance of feeling prepared, without feeling scared!
Missed her last edition? Click here to catch up!
Firstly let’s kick off with a thank you because I received so much amazing feedback on collecting colostrum, cord blood banking and your must-haves. So from the bottom of my heart thank you.
I landed back in NZ last week and will be based here till the middle of February when I have my next filming job overseas, so the next three months are dedicated to baby prep and baby arrival! I have now been back on NZ soil for seven days and have so much to update you on!
After I landed I was booked in for a scan – we hadn’t seen baby since the 21-week scan and now at 34 weeks things were looking quite different. Baby has hair (more than Tom hehe), baby has the cutest lips I have ever seen and baby loves to dance and kick haha (apologies ribs).
I also had to get some blood work done because my iron has been low, which I know is common and I struggle with the iron pills as I feel like they block me up but I need to be more consistent with them. I also had to get some urine tests as I thought I might have some protein in my urine or an infection. I got the all clear so perhaps I just have a changing microbiome? I just feel different down there, hot, like my lady bits need to breathe? Sorry maybe TMI but I did want to share all things here in this safe space as there are so many changes and it’s hard to know when something is a flag or just a normal part of the process if we don’t share and discuss.
I also, almost like clockwork after talking about collecting colostrum (which so many of you recommended. I do want to collect if I am able to, I figure it’s more of a ‘have and not want’ than ‘not have and wish you had’ kind of situation!) had a little situation. I was laying on the couch with Tom and thought I had dribbled, only to look down and realise I was leaking from one boob. Omg how cool.
I am still working hard to just live in the awe of the process, to marvel at what my body is doing rather than feel frustrated by my limitations. I did google that I shouldn’t encourage the boobs too much at this stage, as it can stimulate labour and we are in no way set up for bub’s arrival yet but very cool to know there was some progress in that department. How magical!
I celebrated the kiwi women who have been pivotal during this pregnancy and fertility process with a sunrise baby shower on Sunday morning. A little unconventional approach to a shower but it was perfect and exactly how I wanted to thank those epic women around me. I highly recommend it if you are looking to do something slightly different for your shower or for a loved ones.
I did have my first real day of feeling wildly uncomfortable a couple of days ago.
I was struggling to catch my breath, my hips hurt and baby was moving like crazy. Which made my lungs feel like they were in my throat and I couldn’t find a position that felt like it was giving me any relief. I also acknowledge some people feel this way for a lot of the process so my heart goes out to you.
Being a first-time experiencer of discomfort, it’s the acid reflux I extend the most sympathy, woof it’s rough. I was able to get some rest and felt much better the following day and I am trying to also acknowledge that there will most likely be more moments like this and perhaps more frequently as we near the final stages of this journey.
If there is anything anyone has done to offer some relief in these moments, please share. I was home alone, tried to shower, tried to lay down and just couldn’t find a position that offered support so teach us all your ways if you have the magic solution.
And now to the nesting. I hired a skip and have been on a rampage of cleansing, typical of the third trimester I hear, but because we live with my parents when we are in NZ and I am in my childhood room, I have a lot of things that can be recycled, re-homed and repurposed and also a lot of things that can be thrown out before my brain will allow me to think about setting up a space for baby!
I originally felt really overwhelmed. Setting up for baby was something I was delaying and blocking for some reason, one part because I have been in LA and it felt like a future Kim job, two, because it seems like a big expense that was also making me nervous to get all the ‘things’ that we will need and three, I think I felt emotional about how quickly the baby will be here and a bit of resistance because I am enjoying the pregnancy stage over the idea of baby being with us so soon and the practicality of baby being here.
I am also feeling like I am not ready, studied enough, have all the things or even feel certain of who I am and how I want to be as a mum. I was getting myself in quite the pickle, which in classic Kim style just gets compartmentalised and put to the side in the deal-with-it-later pile. But reality has hit and it’s a deal-with-it-now thing.
Am I still deep down scared something bad might happen? After loss I think there is always a tab open in your brain that at any point and at any time no matter where you are in the process, things can and do go wrong. Or is it that at this stage it all feels manageable? It feels like me and baby are really one and it’s our little thing. Whereas soon it will be in the world and it’s hard to block out all the warnings and trauma people share about the hardships of parenting, sleep deprivation, how hard breastfeeding is, how your marriage will need to adapt etc.
Maybe I have just got myself a bit spooked and where in LA I was in this bliss state of delusion I feel like reality has hit and I need to adjust slightly to hear everything but not let all comments seep in. Any help would be appreciated on how you stay educated and prepared, but not scared.
Which brings me to the birth plan and where I would love some help. We have a session next week to come up with a birth plan. Now, from what I do know is that this is really a null and void exercise as nothing goes to plan?
So what do I need to think about, or is it more that I need to have some ideas or ideals but not be married to them? Did anyone find a nice balance of this? Naturally I have a highly romanticised version of what I would like the experience to feel like and look like but how can I inject some reality and not also feel like I am giving away all my power to the process? Or is surrender the answer? But surrender to who and what exactly?
As always your feedback is the best and I love the time and effort you all put in to reaching out, I know it is not only helpful to me but also to those who are on the same path, we thank you in advance.
Today I am about to take my first step in the nesting process and going to look at some cots and drawers and strollers and car seats. I figured they were some of the bigger items that would be good to look at first and given there is so much available I took the most common recommendations from you all to look at Farmers and Nuna first and see their products in real life as a starting point. Tom is away filming this week so I am bringing Mum with me and will report back on some of our findings.
Much love
){kind=link}