When Kim Crossman was diagnosed with severe depression in 2019, she sought expert help and began talk therapy – eventually trying hypnotherapy when she seemed to be hitting a block. Now, Kim is 24 weeks pregnant and starting to think more and more about birth – and wondering, could hypnotherapy help her out again?
We’re very excited here at Capsule to have Kimberley join us every fortnight as she brings us along for the ride of her very exciting pregnancy.
Missed her last edition? Click here to catch up!
Thank you to everyone who reached out after I was feeling so sensitive about not feeling any movement of baby – it eased my anxiety. It’s possible that prioritising relaxation and the comfort of knowing others had not had any feeling untill later in their journey helped me stay in a positive mindset. And boom, then I felt something! Lying on the couch working, I got my camera out to film, and about twelve minutes into rolling on my belly with nothing to see, a little pop was captured!
Tom and I are in different countries for a couple more weeks, so I want to try and capture anything monumental to share with him, so I was stoked when baby performed. It did feel very different than I had imagined. I was expecting butterflies, but it felt more like popcorn? I have also started to experience some hip pain at night. I am not sure of the science behind the pain or why it locates in my hips, but I can only assume this is why people invest in pregnancy pillows. The relief from a pillow between the legs is amazing. Please send through pregnancy pillow recommendations, as I think that is something I might need to look into!
One of the biggest things that has been flooding my DMs is the reading of a book called Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method.
Now, I can almost feel the repel of any mother who has not ‘breathed their baby out’ and their desire to want to tell me to adjust my expectations. But I will say this, I was fascinated by what I was reading and wanted to enquire further to add some tools to my toolbox. I am an anxious person, a people pleaser, and struggle to not self abandon at the best of times.
My thoughts during the build up to birth are to, while I have the time, educate myself on as many ways and learn as many tools as possible to help keep my emotional state and stress levels regulated. It can only help me in general, right? If it all goes out the window on the day, so be it. But at least I might have some helpful tangible tools to fall back on if my lovely brain (but at times punishing) decides to click into full panic mode.
I have done a bit of hypnotherapy before in my journey with depression. For a bit of context, I was diagnosed with severe depression in 2019 stemming from extreme negative self talk. Whilst bubbly and happy on the outside and a lover of people and things, my internal dialogue is very abusive. I have spent a lot of time in talk therapy, but was finding I was hitting a wall when it came to some of the root causes of these negative self beliefs. While logically I knew what was happening, adjusting the behaviour physically wasn’t helping, and someone suggested seeking out hypnotherapy.
If you can be hypnotised into not drinking or smoking, couldn’t it work for other bad behaviours and habits, like negative self talk? I worked with the amazing Bec Marshall and I can hand on my heart say after about three sessions I felt a seismic shift and have been working with her on and off as other things have come up over the past two years (including the grief of miscarriage), so it made sense when I was reading about hypnobirthing to call her immediately.
I had my first session this week, and I wanted to share a couple of my initial takeaways that made complete sense to me and encourage you all to share anything that helped set the stage for your pregnancy journey too as a resource for any of the other expectant mothers here.
Firstly, I do want to caveat that I know everyone’s birth journey and story is unique and special and sometimes traumatic. I also feel I need to say that I am well aware that so much of it is and will be out of our hands and control, and the ability to pivot and adjust is incredibly important for Mum and baby. I just wanted to have some education and tools and to feel empowered walking into this journey so that I have some sense of calm and security to fall back on.
Bec asked me to tell her what my fears were and what I was excited about. This was easy.
Fears: Not being able to advocate for myself, being more worried about Christmas and everyone who is travelling to be around, and hoping baby isn’t too late, which means plans will have to adjust somewhat. Aka worrying about everyone else rather than keeping focus on me and baby.
Excited about: Meeting baby and being impressed by what my body can do. It still amazes me that while I go about my day, my body is subconsciously making a vital organ… wild.
Then we talked about the senses. What under each of the five senses makes me feel good, nourished, safe, and comfortable?
Sight: I love mornings with dim light.
Touch: I am a dressing gown girly through and through.
Smell: I love the smell of jasmine, lavender, and coconut.
Taste: Right now it feels like everything but soup or cake.
Sound: Bec suggested having three playlists. One that is Zen, nature sounds, or calming waves. One that is like party prep to get you happy. For me this means 5ive, Backstreet Boys, S Club 7 (something Tom will have to grit his teeth for), or our wedding playlist. And one that feels like you are ready to get lit; for me, 100% Darude Sandstorm on repeat haha.
Then she posed the question: Are these things that make me feel like ‘home,’ and are these things I can incorporate into my birth to help regulate my nervous system and help support me in feeling comfortable.
The other token, which is actually a lesson in life, is that the words you use to describe things hold a lot of meaning. Bec suggested reframing a few things, like instead of “contractions,” call them “waves.” The mind and the body have a different reaction to the words “waves” or “surges” than they do to the word “contractions.”
This is something I had to learn a lot about when it came to my mental health journey. Saying I struggle with negative self talk emphasises the struggle. Reframing and saying I am strengthening my responses to self talk has a more positive but less toxic verbiage. She also suggested not using the word “pain,” but switching it to “discomfort.” I feel like these are good tips for all of us and how we speak about our own journeys if you are like me and prone to flipping to the negative mentally.
I would love to know of anything you found helpful to prepare for the tail end of the second trimester into birth. Is there anything else I should try, or anything that you did to inform your family and loved ones that you wish you had done ahead of time to make the process easier? All these tips are so helpful for us expectant mothers. Thank you so much.
Kim
xx
