Ever wished your kids could grow up in the carefree days of the 90s, like you did? Welcome to retro-parenting – the millennial parents who are aiming to give their kids a more carefree, simple upbringing…
To varying degrees, we all tend to reflect on our formative years with fondness.
The exact shade of blue on the VHS start up screen, the intonation of our family’s dialup, generally how much slower the time crept by; it seems a small part of us will always long for a world that no longer exists.
With childhood memories perfectly preserved within the pages of the so-called ‘Goldilocks age’, a growing number of millennial parents are now attempting to replicate the magic for their own offspring.
Some may put it down to rose-tinted glasses – but according to experts, elements of that period are truly worth implementing in modern-day parenting.
Enter: ‘Retro parenting’.
At its core, growing up in the ’90s was characterised by a more “free range” parenting style, wherein children enjoyed unrestricted playtime devoid of the stricter structure we see today.
Prevalent were the four B’s – Blockbuster, boardgames, books and boredom – with the likes of consoles and cell phones not yet considered commonplace.
Technology prior to the dawn of the digital age was advanced enough to supplement and enhance day-to-day life – without ever taking precedence over what truly mattered.
There was less emphasis on the need to capture every moment, and more time to simply be in that moment.
Millennials were considered the first in a long line of digital natives, while being lucky enough to retain vivid memories of analogue society’s golden age.
And now, they’re the ones pioneering a ’90s parenting renaissance, seeking to strike the perfect balance between the old and the new.
Melanie Murphy, a self-proclaimed “nostalgia enthusiast” and mum of two, is making it her mission to give her children all the joys of the ’90s – sans the bad bits.
In a recent episode of YouTube series Time Warp With Mel, the Irish creator admitted that while the decade had its merits, it also had considerable downfalls.
She emphasised the importance of finding a happy medium; forgoing the cocktail of “neglect, repression, and ultra-processed food” for a revised version of that period.
“I want them to grow up like it’s 1996, but with sunscreen, supervision and emotional literacy.”
And with the recent country-wide social media ban for under-16s now in full effect, it’s become easier than ever to allow your kids to be, well, kids.
So what are some realistic steps you can take to inject a little more of the ’90s’ signature whimsy into your children’s lives?
Family nights
You know the drill.
Dad’s either whipping the tarp off the barbie, or on the phone to Pizza Hut.
Mum’s on the popcorn, with a freshly-acquired film from Video Ezy locked and loaded in the VCR.
A heated squabble with your siblings ensues; each contesting the most highly sought-after vantage points in the living room (with dad’s La-Z-Boy recliner remaining strictly off-limits, of course).
There was truly nothing else that brought the family together quite like it, but the heyday of the ‘family night’ seemingly came to its bitter end in tandem with the video rental biz.
But according to a leading researcher on family dynamics at BYU, Loren Marks, they’re a key fixture in healthy family dynamics – and COVID-19 may have had a hand in triggering their resurgence.
Results from the study, conducted on 731 adult parents throughout the Pandemic, showed that increased family time during lockdowns strengthened interfamilial bonds.
According to Marks’ findings, maintaining regular family activities – or upping their frequency – was associated with “increased closeness” between siblings and parents alike.
And parenting website Raising Children also emphasises the importance of family rituals – no matter how trivial they may seem.
Quality time together, according to Raising Children, not only strengthens relationships, but can also serve to stabilise a child’s emotional state during times of turmoil or uncertainty.
“Rituals help children feel that the world is a safe and predictable place.”
“This is especially important in uncertain or changing times like a family separation or divorce or house move, or after a traumatic event like a bushfire or flood.”
Benefitting from boredom
“Muuum, Daaad, I’m bored.”
It’s the nagging phrase that strikes fear into any parent’s heart.
But despite the ensuing whinging, your kids being bored is actually a good thing. Allow them to be bored.
Because according to health hub All About Kids, boredom actually serves as a precursor to creativity.
“When children are not engaged in structured activities, their minds wander, leading to imaginative thinking, daydreaming, and the birth of innovative ideas.”
All About Kids asserts that when kids learn to navigate the discomfort of being bored, they also become “more adept” at handling challenges, setbacks or uncertainties come adulthood.
In short: when children are left to their own devices, they develop essential problem-solving skills that will serve them well later in life.
As a self-confessed “nostalgic millennial mum friend,” parenting creator Melanie Murphy also agrees with this sentiment. Speaking to The Guardian, Murphy cites extended periods of ‘unremarkable’ time as “a gift I didn’t know I’d miss.”
“I want that for my kids. I don’t want to schedule every hour of their lives. I don’t want their lives to go by while their eyes are fixed on a device inches from their faces.”
Furthermore, leaving your children (if you have more than one) to rely on one another for entertainment serves to strengthen sibling bonds, and instil in them a healthy manner of conflict resolution.
So, if your children should come running to you with tales of listlessness or superficial sibling squabbles, consider hitting them with the time-honoured phrase: “work it out between yourselves.”
Allowing a little freedom
This one may prove tough – but a key facet of development is incorporating a level of responsibility and independence into your child’s life, according to family psychologist and parenting expert Dr. Justin Coulson.
The father-of-six and host of Nine Network’s Parental Guidance says he often trusts his children with straightforward, realistic tasks, such as solo fish and chips missions to the local shops.
According to him, this instils a sense of pride, responsibility and independence, while fostering a dynamic based on trust in turn.
Now, it’s important to clarify that Dr. Coulson isn’t suggesting you allow your kids to free roam anywhere, at any time – but where neighbourhood excursions are concerned, it’s important to afford them a little breathing room.
Remember the days where all it would take to see your friend was a quick word to your mum, a commute via razor scooter, bike or rip stick, and a polite rap on their parents’ front door?
Remember beelining to the corner store to pick up a tropical punch and pick-n-mix combo (with absolutely zero nutritional value), then rendezvousing at the local park to divvy up your spoils?
Experiences such as this are central to the ’90s ethos – not to mention reminiscent of every millennial and Gen Z-er’s fondest early memories.
Recreating that same ’90s magic in 2026 is not about leaving children entirely unsupervised; rather, it’s allowing them a degree of freedom that facilitates their growth into confident, situationally intelligent human beings.
Embracing the analogue
It may seem like an obvious move in theory; but in practice, this is perhaps the hardest task this generation of parents have to face.
Over the past 20 or so years, technology has wormed its way into almost every aspect of daily life.
Intertwined with schooling and recreation on an unavoidable level; the onus now falls on parents to create a haven at home with toned-down tech.
According to a paper authored by academic Anagha Joshi, an excess of screen time can prove detrimental – with lasting impacts on kids’ motor and cognitive development, in addition to their “social and psychological wellbeing.”
Australia’s official national guidelines regarding screentime state that “no more than two hours” of sedentary recreational screen time per day for children aged five to 17 years is advised.
So while the urge to palm off a device to a crying, nagging child for a single minute’s peace is undeniably strong – it’s important not to make this the go-to solution.
Allow them to craft. Allow them to read and enrich their minds. Allow them to venture beyond your front gate (within reason).
“They’ll build forts, the floor will be lava, underneath the table will become a dragon’s den. We go outside in old clothes and get filthy looking for bugs,” says Melanie Murphy.
Calming tantrums without technology’s quick-fix approach can prove tough, however experts at the Child Mind Institute suggest various proven methods, such as physical activity, sensory inputs, creative outputs and the ‘five senses’ method to quash outbursts.
A growing aversion to social media and technology fatigue amongst young people presents the perfect opportunity to reflect on how we parent our children – and what kind of childhood we’d like for them to look back on in later years.
In short, it’s important to allow our kids to be kids again.
