‘What Kind of 30-Year-Old Wants to Hang Out With an 18-Year-Old?’: Pop Culture is FINALLY Talking About Inappropriate Age-Gap Relationships

Hilary Duff, Demi Lovato and Keke Palmer are speaking out about inappropriate age-gap relationships they had with adult men when they were younger. Here’s why being told “you’re mature for your age” was always a red flag. Plus, one woman’s personal story of being pursued by an older man under the pretence of mentorship.

Content warning: This article discusses predatory age-gap relationships, grooming and manipulation.

Young and impressionable, Sheila* was 18 when she sold skincare products through a multi-level marketing scheme. She was at university at the time and needed some extra money, so she thought, why not?

In one of the business meetings, Richard*, who was in 30s, offered to mentor her. Everyone in that business only said nice things about him, so she thought, surely, this was a genuine mentor-mentee relationship.

At first, it did remain wholesome. No boundaries were crossed.

Things slowly shifted. He insisted on paying for coffees and dinners after weekly meetings, often paying for them.

Then, he’d tell her that she was mature for her age. And full-grown adults (with children!) in that company would tease them about being a couple when they were seen at a local Starbucks.

She got annoyed, he shrugged it off and said he didn’t see her that way, at all, and that she was too young for him. 

Then there was an out-of-town conference where he offered to pay for the trip, again insisting that it would be a great learning experience for her.

“I was just so naive at that time, thinking and believing that his intentions were pure. Now that I’m much older, I can really see it for what it is.

“What kind of 30-year-old would want to hang out with an 18-year-old? I’m in my 30s now and I have zero desire to hang out with people under 20. How f*cking weird, actually,” says Sheila. 

She remembers he put his arms around her en route to the hotel, which she immediately pulled away from. It was just awkward from then on.

He then professed her love for her, which she says was ‘truly f*cked’ because she was away from everyone and everything she knew. “I just felt trapped.”

Sheila says she also didn’t realise they had to share a room. There were separate beds, thank goodness, and all she remembers was feeling very repulsed. Scared. Alone. And betrayed on so many levels.

After the trip, Sheila completely ghosted and blocked him. She hoped he got the hint by then, but he showed up at her house hoping to patch things up and apologise.

“I was still living with my dad at the time – who knew Richard, and liked him – because all adults in my life seemed to have bought this Mr Nice Guy persona he had going on,” says Sheila.

“I hid inside my room and told my dad I didn’t want to see or talk to him, and so my dad asked him to leave. But my dad said something that stayed with me forever – that he thought Richard deserved at least an explanation.”

Those words made Sheila feel like her dad had failed to protect her – and failed to fully understand the severity of that situation.

‘You’re So Mature For Your Age, Babe’ 

Age-gap relationships are controversial and divisive, largely due to the skewed power-imbalance between a couple. To be clear, this is not about age-gap relationships that work – there are plenty of couples with significant age differences that build partnerships in genuine respect and equity. This is about the other kind: where one person who holds power and wealth is manipulative towards the other person still figuring out who they are, and when the other person is at risk of being groomed and exploited.

For centuries, society actually enabled this kind of behaviour – think about all the young women who married men two or even three times their age in the 1700s and beyond – and saying “you’re so mature for your age” is the ultimate compliment. But let’s be fair – at times, it’s just manipulation.

And right now, pop culture is bringing this often problematic and harmful dynamic to the forefront. Some of Hollywood’s young women whose age-gap relationships were once plastered on tabloids – have now grown up and are sharing exactly what they think.

In November 2025, former Disney star Hilary Duff released “Mature” – her first single in a decade – a song reflecting on a brief relationship with an older man who had a pattern of dating younger women. In a Glamour interview, Hilary confirmed the song was autobiographical: “It was very brief with someone older than me, and that was not illegal, but inappropriate when you have this much time removed from it.”

More recently, fellow Disney alumni Demi Lovato guest starred on Keke Palmer’s podcast, Baby, This is Keke Palmer, where the child stars bonded over dating adult men as teenagers. Keke recalled being with a 20-year-old boyfriend at 15, and Demi responded: “Why was my boyfriend 30?! … When I turned 30, I realised, that’s not okay.” It wasn’t until they had reached the same age their exes had been when something clicked for them. Keke called it a “mental break”: “You realise, ‘you were taking advantage of’, ‘Oh, I was being exploited.’”

A Generational Reckoning

What makes the Duff-Lovato-Palmer conversation resonant is that it’s not an experience exclusive to celebrities. Sheila’s story could belong to any women who were told they were “mature for their age” by men who actually had NO BUSINESS being in their orbit.

But inappropriate behaviours like that have long-existed in places filled with vulnerable and impressionable young people – workplaces, universities, high schools, churches (!!!), sport clubs and yes, multi-level marketing schemes.

Thing is though, that generation of girls being told “you’re mature for your age” have grown up, and have realised that it was a manipulative tactic often used by someone older, and should have known better. 

To sum it all up, I’ll end this with two verses from Demi Lovato’s 29:

Petal on the vine, too young to drink wine
Just five years a bleeder, student and a teacher
Far from innocent, what the fuck’s consent?
Numbers told you not to, but that didn’t stop you

Finally twenty-nine
Funny, just like you were at the time
Thought it was a teenage dream, just a fantasy
But was it yours or was it mine?
Seventeen, twenty-nine

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Where to get help:

• Need to talk?: Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.
• Healthline: Call 0800 611 116, available 24/7
• Rape Crisis: 0800 88 33 00, click the link for local helplines.
• Safe to talk: a 24/7 confidential helpline: 0800 842 846, text 4334, webchat safetotalk.nz or email support@safetotalk.nz.
• Shakti: 0800 742 584, provides culturally specialist, confidential support services to women and their children of Asian, African and Middle Eastern origins
• The Harbour: Online support and information for people affected by sexual abuse.
• Women’s Refuge: 0800 733 843 (females only)
• If it is an emergency or you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.

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About the Author:

She’s worked for NewstalkZB and TVNZ’s youth news platform Re: News, and has also been published on 1News, NZ Herald, and Stuff. She was selected by the Asia New Zealand Foundation as an emerging journalist for the Splice Beta 2025 delegation in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Vivien lives in Auckland with her partner, close(ish) to the beach, and is always on the hunt for Auckland’s best affordable eats.

You can read other stories by Vivien here or email her here.