How to Build a Sex Room: From Netflix to Real Life, An Expert’s Guide to Your Very Own Sexy Space

Adulttoymegastore’s sexpert Emma Hewitt on how to recreate the magic from Netflix’s new hit show How to Build a Sex Room, no matter how big or small your space is

Have you checked out How to Build a Sex Room yet? It’s the latest Netflix show to take the world by storm, and as you might guess by the title, it’s a home reno show with a biiiiiit of a difference. Interior designer Melanie Rose goes into homes and creates rooms designed specifically for sex. As the show exemplifies, while our minds might go straight to red rooms and bondage dungeons when we hear the term “sex room”, there are lots of other ways to create erotic spaces in our homes. 

Here are a few things to consider before you dive into creating your sex room:

If it’s a space you share with someone else, the first step is to talk about what you want to achieve with it. What I took away from this TV show was the same thing I take away from all sexuality-based education and entertainment: The only way to maintain a good sex life is to communicate with one another! If you can’t do this, a sex room is not going to help. 

Emma Hewitt
Emma Hewitt

Luckily, constructing a sex room together is a perfect way to start a conversation about your sex life, so do this first. Sit down over dinner or snacks and talk it out. What do you love about your sex life? What do you want more of? What are your fantasies? Find the points where your interests align and base your space around that so you will both love it! 

Maybe it’s a safe space away from the kids, a bedroom that feels more erotic and conducive to sex, or a space to fit larger pieces of sex gear or furniture. While a whole room dedicated solely to pleasure and eroticism sounds delightful, for many of us it’s just not realistic. But don‘t let that put you off, there are plenty of things you can do to make your room a sexier space:

How to build a sex room: Let’s set the mood

We always hear about setting the mood for sex, but what if you have a space where the mood is already set? If you stay ready, you don’t need to get ready, honey! 

A perfect starting point for any sexy space is setting it up with products that ignite your senses. Think about smells, sounds and textures that get you in the mood. And don’t forget about sexy things to look at. This should be a space that makes you want to have sex. Does this mean luxurious blankets and soft textures? Maybe it’s more like leather and chain, or walls covered in erotic art? Whatever your style, make sure it is a space that makes you feel sexy. 

I recommend putting a few massage candles around the space. They burn at a low temperature, becoming a liquid that you can then pour onto the body for an amazingly smooth massage. They smell amazing too! 

liberator throw blanket is a sex room must-have. This pretty plush blanket has a special lining designed to soak up any lube or liquids that might make an appearance. Throw this over the top of the bed and keep your sheets fresh. The sheets are for sleeping. This throw is for sex. 

Lubricant is a must-have

Lubricant keeps things slippery, sensual and feeling good so it’s an essential item in any sex room. The trick is to find something that looks as good as it feels. Uberlube is a silicone lubricant that is smooth, silky and long-lasting. Keep in mind that silicone lube isn’t suitable for all silicone toys but it’s great for non-silicone toys, condoms and bodies. 

If you want to use lube with your silicone toys, go for a water-based lube instead.

A little BDSM anyone?

BDSM is an acronym for a variety of sexual practices that include consensual bondage, dominance, discipline, submission, sadism & masochism. This could include role play, impact play, power exchange, sensation play and bondage play using restraints. 

BDSM ignites the senses and that’s why it’s such a popular addition to many people’s sex lives. You can start slow and sensual with blindfolds, ticklers, or soft and supple restraints. Or move into more intense play with impact tools like paddles and floggers. 

Remember that the larger and softer a spanking tool is, the less intense it will feel on impact. The smaller and harder it is, the more it will sting as it’s more focused on one small area. And it doesn’t have to be about pain. You can use a feather tickler or drag a flogger slowly across someone’s skin for sensual, sensory fun. 

Important note: Rope tying is recommended on How to Build a Sex Room, but I don’t recommend rope to beginners. There is a lot to learn to ensure you are doing it safely. If you are new to restraints, stick to padded cuffs. 

BDSM for beginners – try padded cuffs

Fill it with furniture designed for sex

Want to go all in? Three words. Chaise lounge baby! If you’ve watched the show, you will know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a lounger designed specifically for sex and offers pretty much endless possibilities for positions. But as you guess, it is a piece that requires a lot of space, and a lot of money…

The good thing is these aren’t your only option. A wedge or cushion with restraints, or hard points to attach restraints to, takes up much less room and can be just as much fun as a full piece of furniture. Plus, it costs a lot less. Even a sneaky little sex cushion can make a big difference if you want something subtler. 

Care for a swing? 

It doesn’t get much more fun than a sex swing as they allow you to explore so many different positions. And there are a lot of functional benefits to using a swing too. It can be safer and kinder for your body to do these positions using a swing as it can reduce strain, tension and stress on the body. The swing will take a lot of your weight, so you might find that you can do positions on a sex swing that aren’t possible without one. 

What I love about sex swings is that they make difficult sex positions accessible to partners no matter their weights, heights, or strength levels. They make getting into difficult positions easier and enhance your range of motion. They can also be helpful to those with mobility issues or other physical barriers to sex. 

As you can imagine, sex swings require care when being set up to ensure that they are attached correctly and securely to hold your weight. Some swings attach to hard points on the ceiling, others hang over a door and some will require a dismantlable stand to be set up. 

Something for serious players…

If you watched the show, you would have seen the Sybian sex machine, well let me introduce you to an even sexier piece of machinery, the Cowgirl! Never have I lusted after a sex toy more than I have over this beauty. 

This is a ride-on sex machine designed for powerful clitoral stimulation and internal stimulation. You can use it to bump, grind and vibrate. Use it alone or jump on with a partner. It’s very sexy. It’s very glam. It’s very ye-haw! 

A real toy story

What’s a sex room without a few toys?

The final piece of the puzzle is the sex toys (click here for New Zealand’s top 10!) When it comes to choosing the perfect sex toys for your space, there are a few things to think about. What type of stimulation do you like and which body parts do you like touched? Then, find toys that tick both of those boxes. 

On the show, Melanie recommended the Le Wand Petite and a Womanizer suction toy. And, if you have a clitoris, I couldn’t agree more with these recommendations.

The Le Wand Petite is a beautiful wand vibrator that can be used anywhere on the external body for deep, rumbly stimulation. It’s amazing against the clitoris but feels just as good on your back and is a great tool for a massage too.

The Womanizer Premium is a suction toy that uses air pressure to stimulate the clitoris, making it throb with blood flow and pleasure. These toys are all the rage at the moment, and this is one of the more powerful options you can get your hands on. 

There is only one rule you need to follow

Design your room with things that arouse you, that are erotic and pleasurable. Not with what you think a sex room should be. This is your space, so make it a space you love.  

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