What are the biggest sex myths out there that might be affecting women – and men – more than we think? Certified sex and relationship practitioner Georgia Grace says she often sees the same things being brought up again and again with her clients…
Georgia Grace understands why clients tell her they feel “nervous” ahead of sessions with her.
Sex isn’t the easiest of topics for many, particularly women who’ve been in long-term relationships and want to know how to improve their sex lives with the partners they love.
As a certified sex and relationship practitioner, Grace has made a career out of helping women discuss common sex concerns and how to overcome them.
She says one of the biggest myths about sex is that “everyone thinks everyone’s having more or better sex than they are”.
“I see that a lot in sessions as well,” she says.
“I think, like, one of the more common things people will say is that they just don’t feel ‘normal’ and they have this idea that everyone else is doing it right and they’re doing it wrong and they’re the only ones that need help.
Grace says on one hand, women have become “really progressive” when discussing sex, but “there’s also a new wave of expectation that’s based on people being hypersexual and sex positive and kinky”.
“For a lot of people, we haven’t been given the information we need or the tools or resources we need to know even what that means for us and how to get there,” she says.
What she doesn’t want is for women to feel like they are failures over their sex lives when faced with so-called “sex stunts”.
“I think we need to bring a critical lens and eye to it … there is probably a reason why these people are doing these sex stunts,” she says.
“It’s probably to make money, it’s probably to be controversial, it’s to get people clicking and looking and talking.”
Her approach is to look at sex in a “holistic way”, starting with how it was spoken about by people’s parents, which oftentimes has set them up for “a life of shame and fear and embarrassment”.
“It’s undeniable that the conversations we have with young people will inform how they think about sex and that could be body shame, it could be homophobia, transphobia, it could be slut shaming their young girls,” Grace says.
Grace discusses this in her book The Modern Guide to Sex, explaining good sex is about how women feel “before, during, and after”.
“It’s about feeling comfortable in my body, it’s about feeling connected to others, it’s about experiencing pleasure, it’s definitely not about frequency, and I think that’s a really misleading goal for many to have,” she says.
Her work doesn’t just address single women who are dating – she also works to improve the sex lives of long-term couples which can wane, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything you can do to improve it.
”Your relationship has changed and your life has changed so your sex life will change too,” she explains.
“We look at how we can create more of a context for desire because the majority of couples are not creating context for desire,” she says.
“What can we do to make those moments feel like there’s less pressure around them, it’s more fun and it’s not about an end goal but it’s just about doing this thing with our bodies. And yeah, it’s an ongoing conversation. Like all good communication. We have to communicate about that as well.”
This article was reproduced with permission from 9Honey. To read the original article, click here.
