Welcome to our series, The Love Diaries – a space for you to share your experiences, advice, fairy-tale endings, setbacks and heartbreaks. We’ll be hearing from industry experts giving practical advice alongside Capsule readers (You!) sharing your firsthand experiences with love – everything from finding love, to keeping love, to losing love.
If you have a topic you’d like to discuss, share your thoughts, experience or advice about, drop a line to [email protected] with ‘Love’ in the subject line. All stories that are published will win a Dermalogica BioLumin-C Moisturiser, valued at $119!
This week we hear from a Guest Writer from 9Honey whose life was thrown upside down when she, a mother of four, learned that her husband was in love with another woman.
When I discovered the awful news that my husband Jon was having an affair, I was shocked and devastated.
All the clichés were true — I was angry, I was sad, I was in disbelief. It was the worst time in my life. Also, the way I found out was very upsetting, because I had to see all the text messages between the two of them.
He was in love with her, she was in love with him — he was planning on leaving me.
The thought of being a single mum with four kids was truly devastating for me. But, even worse, was the thought of spending the rest of my life without the man I loved. And to think that he was in love with another woman was just horrendous.
It took me over an hour to read all the text messages between them and, when I confronted him, he told me he was never going to leave me. I didn’t really believe that at the time, but I believe him now because I need to trust him again.
But the worst thing of all was when he told me that his girlfriend was pregnant. It really was the stuff of nightmares! He begged for forgiveness and said he was truly sorry.
Of course, I would lie awake at night wondering if he was really sorry. Or was he just sorry that he was caught?
I initially kicked Jon out of the house and told the kids he was away for his work. It was at that stage that I told him I wanted to make our marriage work, for the sake of the kids. But that he had to choose between me and his girlfriend.
I thought he’d make his decision on the spot but he said he needed time to think about it. Imagine how horrible that was for me!
But then his girlfriend had a miscarriage and I believe that was the major crossroad for Jon and why he decided that he should stay with his family. Did I feel sorry for her? Yes, a part of me did feel sorry for her. I would have hated to have been in her shoes. And it does “take two to tango.”
The affair would never have happened if Jon hadn’t been an active participant. And from reading the texts between the two of them, I realise that he made the very first move.
He pursued her and, at first, she was very reluctant because she didn’t want to be a homewrecker. So she’s in an awful position too now, that she lost her baby and also lost Jon.
Will Jon and I survive this? I really don’t know. It’s still early days and so far we’re going to counselling and trying to make things work. But I have a lot of anger and bitterness towards him.
So only time will tell whether that will disappear or not.