Welcome to our new series, The Love Diaries – a space for you to share your experiences, advice, fairy-tale endings, setbacks and heartbreaks. We’ll be hearing from industry experts giving practical advice alongside Capsule readers (You!) sharing your firsthand experiences with love – everything from finding love, to keeping love, to losing love.
If you have a topic you’d like to discuss, share your thoughts, experience or advice about, drop a line to [email protected].
This week we hear from a Guest Writer from 9Honey who surprised everyone when she announced she was getting married – to someone she’d just met!
I first met my husband Tim through his brother, who was my work colleague. He said from the first day I met him, “You’d get on really well with my brother”.
But it was about six months before I finally met him and we didn’t just get on really well, it was a love at first sight situation!
I remember saying, “You didn’t tell me your brother was so gorgeous!” And apparently he felt the same way about me because we got chatting over a bottle of red wine and never looked back. Then we started dating, the next day.
And six weeks later we were engaged.
People were shocked – how could we know that we were “the one” so quickly? I think we both knew, we had great chemistry and we got on like a house on fire. We had so much to talk about and we never really stopped.
For starters, he has a lot of strange ways, as many men do when they’re been living on their own for as long as Tim had been – he’d never had a serious girlfriend before and the biggest responsibility he ever had in his life was his dog.
He couldn’t cook to save himself and I mean that literally, he could hardly boil an egg and I had to teach him to cook a steak. He was truly hopeless in the kitchen. Thankfully, he was great in the bedroom!
But apart from that, he was very immature and expected me to do all the things that his mother had done for him – his laundry, cooking, cleaning, gardening. The only thing Tim did as his household chore was to take the bins out once a week and then take them back again in the afternoon. That was it – apart from opening tin food for his dog.
So, I felt right away that I was like his mum, picking up after him and looking after his health and wellbeing. There were many times over the years I’ve had to remind him that I’m his life partner, I am not his mother.
When I’ve spoken to his mum about that, she just said that he was her only son so she wanted to spoil him, and I get that, especially now that I have a son of my own. But after 10 years of marriage, I’ve really had enough and I’ve told Tim that it’s time he stepped up and gave me a break.
The other thing that would have made me have a longer engagement, is knowing that Tim was really bad with money. We are always broke because he can’t stop spending on his ‘toys” – he collects vintage cars and loves tinkering on them in the garage, but it’s an expensive hobby.
Other than that, I do love him very much and I love telling people that we got engaged after six weeks because not many marriages that start that way actually last as long as ours has.