Friday, December 8, 2023

Capsule Considers: A $$$ Vacuum Cleaner – Is It Worth It? We Test Samsung’s Latest Offering

You know you’re getting on a bit when you get excited about vacuum cleaners.

It used to be the fun stuff, you know – make up, concert tickets, travel. But obviously Covid-19 has lifted a firm handbrake onto all of that stuff and has left me with an overwhelming urge to make sure my house is as clean as it can be at all times – because it’s not like I left it for like, six months.

I think it had something to do with control – you know, the world’s going to hell in a hand basket, but damn it, my house will be pristine, as if somehow that’ll help get through the worst year of the millennium.

I also think turning 30 somehow has flipped a switch that I had inside me that I previously didn’t know about. All of a sudden, storage containers are sexy. My insurance premiums came down and the thrill was akin to a shot of Sambuca. I managed to find a bra that was both not ugly and didn’t have underwire. Let the good times roll.

Still, when Samsung asked me to review their new Jet 90 Pet Handstick Vacuum Cleaner, there was still one element that was hard to escape from – the price. She’s steep for a vacuum cleaner, firmly in the land of the lauded Dysons and therefore normally well beyond my price range.

Nine hundred dollars for a vacuum cleaner? Well damn Samsung, this thing better work. ($949 to be precise)

The main marketing message on this bad boy is that it sucks up dirt that you can’t even see, which is obviously great – you know that feeling when you can’t visually clock that your house is icky but you just feel it?

Ok cool, good to know. I had a wee look at the tech side of things too – it’s cordless, which is great, and charges with a dock (or Z charger) that you can either stick on the wall or just have in your laundry/ garage, or if you’re one of those people who like everyone to know you have a boujee vacuum cleaner, in the lounge. The battery will give you 60 minutes of continuous use and takes 3.5 hours to recharge fully.

The jazziness seems to be in the digital inverter motor, which is optimised for “superior air flow” and goes pretty fast. The jet cyclone also helps here, which creates an optimised – they love that word – air path that reduces resistance, and even my science-challenged brain understands that’s a good thing for a hoover. It also boasts a ‘ 5-layer HEPA filtration system’ that has an ultra-fine dust filter that captures 99.999% of micro dust (just round up guys, it’s fine).

It also comes with a number of other attachments, like the ones for crevices and runner boards, and the one for hard floors.

So after all that, does the thing actually work?

Hello 30 – hello loving boujee vacuum cleaners apparently, says Kelly

Yes. Yes it does.

I first used the Jet Pet as I normally would – a week after I had vacuumed as I usually would with my stock standard bought-from-Briscoes-on-sale vacuum cleaner. My carpet looked fine – just a few crumbs from my sourdough toast the night before and I knew there would be a fair whack of hair in there because I’m a stressed-out woman in a pandemic.

But I had NO IDEA how much crap was going to come off my carpets, and I was equally delighted and horrified. The thrill, the revulsion, it was the stuff of 30-something dreams and nightmares. I managed to fill the entire dust bin – a fluffy grey cloud of stuff I had no idea was sitting inside my house.

I tested further – the next week, I vacuumed with my poor old now-rendered-useless cleaner, and straight after, my new wonder hoover. It turns out my old model may as well have been skimming over my carpet without actually doing anything, for all it did – there was still half a dust bin worth of dust in the Samsung even straight after a normal vacuum.

So yes, it’s a bloody good vacuum cleaner, and if you’re in the market for a new one or you’re looking for ideas for your wedding registry/ housewarming gift (always get the boomers to shell out if you can) do it. It’s light, easy to use and super efficient.

And I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I have never been as enthusiastic about a vacuum cleaner in my life. Jesus, what does 40 look like!?

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