There’s a lot of talk about meeting the in-laws, and dealing with the in-laws lately (Victoria Beckham and Nicole Peltz, [Brooklyn’s wife] anyone?). So, how do you make sure you get things off on the right foot?
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Picture this: You’re wrapped up in that lovey honeymoon phase with your new partner when out of the blue they ask you to meet their parents.
It’s a sweet request and likely a sign that your relationship is moving forward but, for many, it can be enough to erupt that new relationship love bubble and turn the butterflies into serious nerves.
It can no doubt be an anxiety-inducing experience but, according to a relationship expert, there are some things you can do – as well as some you probably shouldn’t – to make meeting the in-laws a little easier.
Once you get the awkward first handshakes and hugs out of the way, it’s time to get chatting and relationship expert Melissa Ferrari says there’s a few topics you should try to avoid.
“It’s generally wise to steer clear of politics, religion, finances, past relationships or deeply personal issues early on,” she says.
“These topics can quickly create tension before trust is established. The first meeting is about building comfort and rapport, not resolving differences or proving a point.”
Instead, Ferrari says, “open, curious questions are ideal”.
“Asking about family traditions, hobbies, travel or shared interests with your partner can naturally create connection.”
She suggests asking questions like, “What do you enjoy doing together as a family?” or “How did you raise such a thoughtful and caring child?”
“These kinds of questions signal warmth without crossing boundaries.”
Ferrari stresses, however, that “your partner should also help carry the conversation, meeting the in-laws is not a solo performance”.
It’s also a good idea to pick the right time and place to meet the in-laws for the first time.
According to Ferrari, “low pressure environments work best”.
“A casual coffee, brunch or relaxed lunch is often easier than a long, formal dinner. Neutral settings can help everyone feel more at ease,” she says.
“The goal isn’t to impress, it’s to connect. Shorter first meetings are also helpful as they allow everyone to leave on a positive note rather than feeling overwhelmed.”
If you do leave feeling less than positive and the first meeting felt like a disaster, Ferrari says not to worry.
She says a bad first meeting with the in-laws is “not necessarily” a bad sign for your relationship.
“First meetings can be awkward, emotional or shaped by nerves on all sides,” she says.
“One difficult interaction doesn’t define a relationship – how the couple handles it together does.
“If partners can talk openly, support each other and set healthy boundaries where needed, it often strengthens the relationship rather than undermining it.”
This article was reproduced with permission from 9Honey. To read the original article, click here.
