Welcome to our series, The Divorce Diaries. In our past instalments over the last year we’ve covered everything from the effect of lockdown on divorces to whether they’re contagious and have now spoken to dozens of women – including one whose husband announced he was leaving her to have an open relationship with a 19-year-old and another who was quite literally ghosted by her own husband.
If you have a topic you’d like to discuss, share your thoughts, experience or advice about, drop a line to [email protected] with ‘Divorce’ in the subject line. All stories that are published will win a Dermalogica BioLumin-C Moisturiser, valued at $119!
This week we hear from a Guest Writer from 9Honey who is really feeling the strain of lockdown and has one very controversial “wish” for her marriage…
“I thought I’d be married forever but there is no way I want to stay with my husband Kim*, as he’s turned into a nasty man who never has a nice word to say about anybody.
It all started when he lost his job when COVID first hit, and I could understand he was upset and under pressure. I kept reassuring him my job was secure, but it was like he was jealous of me still having a job — he kept putting me down and even told me I didn’t deserve to keep it because, according to him, I don’t work hard enough.
He is almost unbearable to be around, he is such a slob and does very little to help around the house. Now we’re in lockdown again, I’m forced to spent every moment with him and it is excruciating.
He has no respect for me at all, and even when he can hear I’m on phone calls to clients, he will turn on the TV and listen to all sorts of rubbish with the volume up loud. I’ll finish the call and tell him to please keep the volume down as one of us needs to keep working for rent money, and that starts up a huge fight. It’s just awful.
A few days ago he took his phone into the bathroom and, for a moment, I was pleased, thinking maybe he was having an affair and had taken his phone in there to text his girlfriend in peace.
Later, when I had a look at his phone when he was outside, I couldn’t see any text messages — he was probably just looking at the day’s news.
If he was having an affair, it would be music to my ears, because it would give me a great excuse to get out of this marriage. It has definitely run its course and expired, well beyond its use-by date.
I mentioned to a friend who has been through a divorce that I can’t wait to leave my marriage and she was horrified, telling me I had no idea how difficult it is to be single in your late 30s. She said most men she dates are worried she wants to be a mother, and they run for the hills if she admits she would like children one day soon.
But my friend has no idea what it’s like to be trapped in a marriage that isn’t working and having to put up with a man I just don’t like or love any more. If there was any love left, that would give me some hope or a reason to stay.
So, for now all I can do is hope that he meets someone else. I should give it a time limit though, that if he hasn’t met someone else in half a year, I should definitely leave him. I’m being a coward, I know, but I just don’t know how to leave without a good reason.”
Has lockdown taken a toll on your relationship? Can you sympathise with our Guest Writer, or do you have a differing opinion you’d like to share? Tell us at [email protected]