Is this the world’s worst wedding speech? Two weeks ago we brought you the story of Sally, a divorced Capsule reader who says the signs were there on her wedding day that the marriage wouldn’t last. Here, three Capsule readers tell of weddings they went to which they left knowing the marriage wouldn’t last…
Welcome to the Divorce Diaries. In our past instalments we’ve covered everything from when you’re most likely to divorce to whether they’re contagious to whether being on the contraceptive pill can effect your chances (?!) and have now spoken to dozens of women – including one whose husband announced he was leaving her to have an open relationship with a 19-year-old, another who was quite literally ghosted by her own husband and one who discovered the real reason her husband divorced her was because he had a baby with her SISTER.
If you have a topic you’d like to discuss, share your thoughts, experience or advice about, drop a line to alice@capsulenz.com.
A couple of weeks ago we shared the story of Capsule reader Sally who is in the midst of divorcing her husband. She’d been doing a lot of reflection (as you do with a break-up) and was thinking a lot about their wedding day – and how there were three red flags that day, foreshadowing their divorce.
Well, that story struck a chord with a lot of you, with so many sending messages saying you’d been to weddings that had surprised or shocked you and left you thinking that the marriage surely wasn’t going to last. In particular were messages about terrible speeches, and weddings seeming to be more about the relationship between the groom and his friends, than with his bride.
Here are three stories from Capsule readers about bizarre weddings they went to, that they later felt no surprise whatsoever when they heard the couple were divorcing.
Return of the ex…
Rebecca says she was at a wedding about 20 years ago, where the bride was in a flood of tears – and certainly not happy ones…
It’s a long time ago now, but in my early twenties I went to a wedding with my partner at the time. It was one of his best friends, but he wasn’t a groomsman or anything, the groom had his two brothers as groomsmen. Anyway, the wedding was pretty nice – I think the parents helped out quite a lot with paying – and the ceremony was super nice.
Then, things took a bit of a weird turn at the reception.
It was a big wedding – I’d say definitely more than 100 people. One of the guests was actually the bride’s ex-boyfriend. They’d dated for several years at high school and then broke up for whatever reason. At the reception, he hit the bar pretty hard. Every time I went to the bar, he was there too.
Anyway, the night goes on and there’s dancing and the ex-boyfriend is getting on well with one of the bridesmaids. Next thing, they’re actually kissing on the dance floor.
My boyfriend went to get us more drinks and I went to the bathroom. It was a bit awkward because the bride was in there with her other bridesmaid, crying. I slunk around and went into one of the bathrooms, but I could still hear everything that was going on. She was really upset about her ex-boyfriend hooking up with her bridesmaid. Like, really upset.
When I came out I pretended I hadn’t heard anything and said, “oh no, I hope you’re ok! Weddings are so emotional!’ And they tried to say it was all happy tears – I had some make-up in my bag so we tried a little touch-up. But when I left they were in there for a long time still.
When I saw the bridesmaid later her eyes were still very red and the make-up was not hiding anything.
I heard that the two of them got divorced a few years later. AND she did end up marrying the ex-boyfriend.
One True Love…
Carey was shocked by the behaviour of a groom – and his groomsmen – at a wedding she went to 15 years ago. She’s not at all surprised that the couple are now divorced – if anything, she’s surprised they lasted so long.
When I read the Divorce Diary a few weeks ago about the wedding red flags – and how, for the groom, the day seemed to be more about his mates than his new wife, it was so familiar. I had been to a wedding very like this.
Anything that had anything to do with the groom was really just all about ‘his boys’.
Here’s some examples:
+ For the formal photos, the photos that had the most time spent on them, weren’t the photos of the bride & groom, but the groom and his groomsmen (and for some reason all of his guy friends turned up for pictures together at the beach?!?!)
+ The speeches were 75% about the groom and his friends. Some of them, were terrible (all three groomsmen spoke!?!?). One of the groomsmen talked for 20 minutes. He talked about his friendship with the groom AND THEN he ‘rated’ his ex-girlfriends. I think I blacked out a bit it was so shocking, but I think he rated them on how hot they were and how crazy they were. Thankfully he didn’t rate the bride. She barely got a mention.
+ The groom gave his speech – again, 75% about his friends, 25% about his relationship with the bride. The kicker of the whole thing was when he said as a reminder to his new wife, that they had the wedding on a Friday because “Saturday is for the boys!” All the guy friends got up and cheered and skulled their drinks. It was the worst thing I’ve seen.
They got divorced last year after nearly 15 years together. I can’t believe they lasted so long.
Sleeping Beauty…
Charlotte says she – and probably most people at the wedding – could have guessed the couple wouldn’t make it, based on what the groom did on the big day…
This wedding was a lot of fun. I had the best night! But, we all knew this marriage probably wouldn’t last long after the wedding day.
They were a pretty good match, but they had some pretty good fights. The bride was all about the wedding – fair enough, because she was one of those girls who always dreamed about it. She was a friend of mine and we hardly saw her in the lead-up because she was so busy with the wedding. When we did catch up, it was all we talked about.
It started getting pretty obvious that she was the one organising the whole thing, and he wasn’t really having any part of it. It was a bit of a joke – he was like, ‘I’m just being told what to wear and when to turn up!’.
The day was absolutely lovely and she did a great job. There were so many lovely personal touches.
The groom was a mess though. He drank too much, too early. He was too out of it to even do a proper speech. It was terrible. She seemed ok? Like maybe she was internally absolutely seething with anger, but was determined to enjoy the whole day.
Shortly after his speech, he fell asleep in the back room. It wasn’t even 8pm.
It was a massive party. We were all up until about 4am, it was crazy. The bride was dancing all night – it was like everyone was trying to make up for him not being there and making sure she had fun and felt special.
He woke up at 6am, on his own at the venue wondering what the heck had happened.
They divorced seven years later.
