Planning on dating in 2025? Here’s why January could be the best month to dip your toe into the dating world, plus an expert weighs in with her best tips for making a meaningful connection this year.
Welcome to our series, The Love Diaries – a space for you to share your experiences, advice, fairy-tale endings, setbacks and heartbreaks. We’ll be hearing from industry experts giving practical advice alongside Capsule readers (You!) sharing your firsthand experiences with love – from the woman who cheated on her husband with a work colleague, one woman’s temptation now the love of her life is finally single (although she’s not), and the woman who forced her husband to choose between her and his girlfriend.
We’ve just passed Dating Sunday – the absolute busiest day of the entire year on the dating apps. Every year, without fail it’s when activity on the apps hits a peak – which this year fell on January 5. There’s something about that shift from one chapter to the next, that gives people who are looking for love a new opportunity, a sense of renewal and a fresh start to their dating lives.
In previous years Bumble says that the number of messages sent on Dating Sundays increases by about 16%, and the number of matches increases by 14.5%. In fact, this whole period is incredibly busy for dating apps, with more than 7.2 million messages being sent amongst the Bumble community in the period between Christmas and Valentine’s Day, just in New Zealand alone. So, just because you have missed Dating Sunday, doesn’t mean you’ve missed the boat by any means.
Relationship expert and Divorce Coach from Equal Exes Bridgette Jackson says January is when she sees her clients really hit the dating scene – many of them choosing to sign-up to dating apps.
“With Christmas done and some time to reflect, many people embrace the new year with fresh optimism about finding a meaningful connection,” she says. “But stepping into the world of online dating can be daunting, especially if someone is unsure where to begin. The key is approaching it with clarity, intention, and a healthy mindset.”
Bridgette says the first step is to start by being honest with yourself about what you’re looking for: whether it’s a serious relationship, something casual, or simply new friendships. “All reasons are acceptable if they are honest with themselves and those they may connect with,” she says.
So, what do you do once you sign up? How do you go about making a meaningful connection (if that’s what you’re after!). Here’s what she recommends
What’s Great To Do:
+ Once you’ve selected the app or platform that you think is the best fit for you and what you want to achieve, Bridgette encourages you to create a profile that really reflects the real you. “You should use recent photos, write a genuine bio, and let their personality shine through,” she says. “Authenticity is far more appealing than trying to fit an idealised mould.”
+ Communication is everything, but set yourself some boundaries and time limits! “Be polite and respectful, even if you don’t see the connection going anywhere,” she says. “At the same time, staying mindful of how much time and energy you dedicate to the process. It’s easy to fall into an endless cycle of swiping, chatting, and scrolling, so you need to set boundaries early to avoid burnout.”
+ It’s normal to feel nervous when meeting up in person for the first time, but don’t put it off – just put in some preparation to calm those nerves. “If people are unsure how to navigate the first date, I recommend they consider role-playing scenarios with friends or family,” says Bridgette. “They should consider the questions they want to ask, how they’d like to present themselves, and even what they will wear. When the date arrives, they need to be present—put away the phone, stay engaged, and give the other person their full attention.”
+ Trust your gut. If you feel like some red flags are coming up, or your instincts are telling you something isn’t quite right, listen to those feelings. “People need to trust their instincts and step away if something feels off,” she says. “They also shouldn’t compare their journey to others’—everyone moves at their own pace. If the process starts to feel draining or uninspiring, no one should be afraid to take a break. Stepping back can help to reset and return with a clearer mindset.”
What’s Best to Avoid:
+ Rushing into things, or feeling like you should swipe right to everyone. Don’t feel pressured to match with everyone! No one has the time to manage that! Instead invest your time on focusing on building genuine rapport over time.
+ Putting on a show. You need to be authentic when creating your profile, or when communicating with others. “Avoid relying on outdated photos or an overly polished version of who you are — they only set the stage for disappointment later,” says Bridgette.
+ Talking about your exes. “While it might feel tempting to vent about past relationships, avoid discussing ex-partners on early dates—it’s rarely a good look,” she says.
Dating Fatigue
Something that Bridgette is seeing a lot with her clients – particularly her female clients during January, is dating fatigue.
She says that she’s seeing an increase in women who are feeling more comfortable, more content and more capable being ‘on their own’ rather than really feeling a drive to find a relationship. Men, she says, tend to be less content with their single status than women.
Now, after experiencing a few terrible dating encounters, many are becoming more cynical about dating, particularly online, and are feeling over it.
“Dating fatigue is a very real experience, and overcoming it often requires a mix of self-awareness, intention, and a willingness to change approach,” says Bridgette. “Taking a step back from dating entirely can be one of the most effective ways to reset.”
Bridgette says taking a short break can allow you to recharge emotionally, reflect on your experiences and return with a clearer mindset. “It’s also an opportunity to reassess one’s goals—what are you truly looking for, and are your expectations aligned with reality?” she says “Sometimes, simply refining the focus can make the process feel less overwhelming and more purposeful.”
A break can also help change how you approach the situation entirely, in terms of how you’re looking for love. If you’ve been heavily reliant on apps, maybe it’s time to step away from the screen and explore other ways to meet people. “Social events, group activities, hobbies, or even elite matchmaking services like Compatico offer alternative avenues for connection,” says Bridgette. “Shifting the mindset is just as important—rather than treating every date as a high-stakes opportunity to meet ‘the one,’ you should focus on enjoying the experience itself. Casual, pressure-free interactions can often lead to the most genuine connections.”
To avoid dating fatigue entirely, Bridgette says you shouldn’t underestimate the power of leaning on your support network. Make sure you’re spending time with friends to get some much needed perspective, and to remind you of the value you hold! Friends are also great for offering honest reflections on your dating habits – sometimes, they’ll be able to see patterns developing that you weren’t even aware of.
It’s also a time when self-care is crucial. Bridgette recommends prioritising activities that nourish your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing ensures they are approaching dating from a place of confidence and clarity. “Setting boundaries around dating habits can also make a significant difference,” she says. “Whether it’s limiting the number of dates they go on in a week or consciously stepping away from their phone after a certain time, these small actions can help prevent dating from becoming a chore.”
Lastly, she recommends embracing a sense of mindfulness, which can shift your perspective entirely. “Instead of fixating on outcomes, people should focus on staying present and enjoying each moment as it comes,” she says. “Every interaction doesn’t need to lead to a grand conclusion—sometimes, the most valuable thing you can gain from a date is a good conversation, a shared laugh, or even just a lesson learned. Approaching dating with balance, openness, and self-awareness becomes far less draining and far more fulfilling.”
Bridgette’s Top Five Pieces of Advice for Anyone on the Dating Scene in 2025:
- Do your due diligence – be your own private investigator. The internet and other people can tell you a lot about someone! New Zealand is small, so find someone who knows them.
- Follow your instinct/intuition rather than your heart. If you feel like something is not quite right, believe it. Those red flags waving gently in the wind will become huge banners furiously flashing across your face if you try to ignore them.
- Watch how the other person treats others. This includes the wait staff at a restaurant, the person who processes the transaction for your meal, and how they treat their ex-partner and their children.
- Focus on yourself first before thinking about dating. Find yourself again before you start searching for your new true love. Get rid of some of the plane load of baggage you may have after not-so-great dating experiences. Focus on “doing your relationship with yourself better” by getting your garden in order before you start looking over the fence at someone else’s garden.
- Slow down – no rush – it takes time and energy to meet the person of your dreams.
