Over the weekend Anne Hathaway announced she’s expecting her third child. It’s an announcement that received a lot of attention because, well, Anne is an A List celebrity who has just been on a media blitz for two new films… plus, she’s 43 years old. But Anne is just one of many celebrities who have given birth over 40 in the last few decades – and more and more of us regular folk are having babies in our forties. So, what’s going on?
TW: Infertility, IVF, Miscarriage
Welcome to our series, The Motherhood Diaries – a safe space for you to share your experiences, advice, hopes and heartbreaks. We’ll be hearing from industry experts giving practical advice alongside Capsule readers (You!) sharing your firsthand experiences. We’re looking at everything from fertility, trying to conceive, pregnancy, the fourth trimester, newborns, toddlers, children’s mental health and teenagers, fertility issues and everything in between!
Do you have a topic or story you’d like to share? Email alice@capsulenz.com
It’s a video that only lasts a few quick seconds, but when Anne Hathaway posted it to Instagram over the weekend, well, the world went insane.
As you’ll likely have seen multiple times by now, that video showed Anne walking into frame with her arms folded around her middle, she then stopped and unfolded them, beaming as she revealed her pregnant belly.
The news quickly spread across the world – yes, because Anne is an A-list celebrity who has pretty recently finished a media blitz for The Devil Wears Prada 2, but also because she is 43. Well past that ‘cliff’ fertility apparently drops off at 35.
This will be Anne’s third child – she has two sons, Johnathan (10) and Jack (6) with her husband Adam Shulman. Prior to having her first son she had a miscarriage and has said in the past that there was “straight line” to her earlier pregnancies and has wanted women who have or are dealing with “infertility and conception hell” to know “they have a sister in me”.
“You get pregnant and for the majority of cases, this is a really happy time,” she told Vanity Fair. “But a lot of people who are trying to get pregnant: That’s not really the story. Or that’s one part of the story. And the steps that lead up to that part of the story are really painful and very isolating and full of self-doubt. And I went through that.”
At 43, Anne is on the older end of the scale of pregnant mothers, but she’s far from alone this year. So far 2026 seems to have been quite the year for celebrities in their 40s announcing their pregnancies.
In recent months Natalie Portman (45) and Aubrey Plaza (41) have also announced they’re pregnant. A couple of months ago Sienna Miller gave birth to her third child at 44 after having her second child at 41.
And it’s not just celebrities.
The stats certainly suggest it’s become much more common to have a baby in your 40s.
While birthrates in general seem to be falling in NZ, women are having babies later in life. In the last 20 years, the proportion of women giving birth in their 40s has jumped by 30%. The latest data from Statistics New Zealand, released in 2020, found that for the first time in recorded history the number of women having babies in their 40s exceeded the number giving birth in their teens. Roughly one in every 25 births in NZ is now to a mother aged in her 40s.
It seems to be a similar story across the globe. According to the CDC in the United States, birthrates among women ages 35-39 have risen 71% since 1990. Birth rates among women ages 40-44 have risen a whopping 127%.
It’s a trend that’s certainly been evident in Hollywood in recent years. In 2023 Kourtney Karadashian naturally conceived at 44. Halle Berry thought she was going through menopause in 2013, when she was given the news that she was pregnant at 46.
Celine Dion had several rounds of IVF before welcoming twins at 42, Claire Danes had a baby in 2023 at 44, Gwen Stefani had her third child at 44 in 2013. Geena Davis had her first baby in 2002, aged 46 before having her second at 48. Rachel Weisz gave birth to a little girl at 48 in 2018. In 2022 Hilary Swank had twins at 48. Bridgette Nielsen successfully got pregnant and had a baby through IVF aged 54 in 2018.
So, what’s going on?
There’s a number of different reasons why women are having babies later. Biology has stayed the same – Mother Nature is still in charge, but advancements in fertility medicine have made it possible for more women of an older age to have babies. There’s also rising education levels – and higher levels of education frequently correlate with delaying childbearing. Many women are looking to establish themselves in their careers now before having children, or are looking to achieve greater financial stability before having kids.
“For me it came down to a couple of factors,” says Milly, who had her baby at 42. “First of all, I just didn’t meet a decent man until my late 30s. And second, life is so much more expensive now. It wasn’t until I was in my 40s that we were both earning enough to be able to afford a baby!”
Fertility After 35
Generally, it’s accepted that our fertility begins to decrease around age 30, with a more noticeable drop after 35.
Fertility Associates says that how age affects fertility is one of, if not the most important factor when having a baby. “Young women without fertility problems have about a 25% chance per month of having a baby naturally if they try at the right time of the month,” they say. “This falls to about 12% at age 37 and well below 5% at 42.” They recommend seeking assistance if you’re in your late 30s and haven’t been able to conceive after six months of trying.
When I decided I was finally “ready” and in a position to actually have a baby, I was already 39, way past 35.
I, for one, was terrified.
It’s a difficult thing to talk about at the best of times. I know friends who have gone through IVF in their 20s. Others who tried throughout their late 30s and through their 40s with no joy. It can be utterly heartbreaking. So, talking about getting pregnant or having a baby beyond 40 can feel fraught – it can feel unfair or insensitive to those who have been through the wringer. I know a friend who was almost embarrassed to tell people she was pregnant at 42. “I don’t want everyone to feel like I’m rubbing my pregnancy in their faces!” she said.
I’d heard so many stories of it being impossible. And the last thing I want to do here in telling my experience, is cause any more distress to the people who have been through heartbreaking fertility journeys. But while honouring their experiences, I also want to give some hope to those who are in their thirties who are freaking the heck out about having a baby. Because, I reckon I spent the best part of a decade worrying about it, thinking it might not ever be possible for me. I could have done with a little bit of hope.
When I broke up with my partner of nine years when I was 28, my boss said I might then also follow her path and miss out on having children. I’d probably missed my window. A lot of people told me this. I WAS TWENTY EIGHT.
When I’d find myself awake at 3am, it was one of the things I thought about throughout my thirties – would I ever have a baby? I went through varying levels of accepting that it might just not be on the cards for me – as well as the other end of the scale, where I felt grief that I might never experience it. Sometimes I convinced myself I didn’t actually even want kids.
So, when my GP asked me if I’d like to have kids one day and that we should start looking at my thyroid levels if so (I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis), we started working on my levels. When he declared them ideal, and that I was ready to start trying for a baby – aged 39 – I assumed my odds were still very low. This is what I’d always heard. I was running the scenario in my head that we’d try for six months, then start IVF. I imagined that’d take quite some time. I figured I’d be at least 42 before we had a baby, if we were lucky.
My GP looked at me, took off his glasses and told me that I shouldn’t be so certain I would find it hard to get pregnant. This was the first time a medical professional was talking to me about my fertility – with all my records in front of him – and saying that he couldn’t see why I would be worried. “I can’t see any reason why you couldn’t get pregnant in the near future,” he said. I almost laughed, because it seemed the opposite of what I’d been told.
I was in absolute shock when I saw two lines come up on a pregnancy test, a short amount of time later.
The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
When I went for my first obstetrician’s appointment, I imagined there’d be plenty of discussion about my age. If you’re going to be 35 or older when you give birth, they’ve thankfully got rid of the term ‘geriatric mother’, but you’re now described as being of “advanced maternal age”. I was shocked though at how little my age came up.
I was told that at that first appointment that they may look at inducing me early because I’d be 40 when he was due. I was also strongly advised to do a NIPT (Non-Invasive Prenatal Test) due to the increased chance of having chromosomal conditions.
When you’re over 35 you also have higher chances of a premature birth, low birth weight and still births. You’re also more prone to developing gestational hypertension, preeclampsia and gestational diabetes. My obstetrician gently smiled when she told me about the hypertension and other conditions, saying, we’ll be keeping an eye on things and running tests, don’t worry. Thankfully, I had a didn’t suffer from any of those complications and had a healthy boy – albeit by emergency c-section (another thing that’s more likely when you’re 35 or over!).
When Rachel had a daughter at 43, it was a different experience to when she had her first child at 28.
“There was such a big gap between them,” she says. “The way it all unfolded was very surprising. I thought I’d be absolutely worn out, but my energy levels were better than I expected. Where things were different was my anxiety levels. I was a little worried the first time around as a new mum – unsure how to do things or worried I’d do something wrong, but I got by okay. I thought the second time around – despite how much time had passed – would be a lot easier. I’d done it before, I had more experience as a human, surely the whole thing would be easier. Instead, I worried so much more intensely. I worried more about something happening to her, about something happening to me. Life felt so much more fragile and delicate – which I think is what you realise more with age. I was more worried about everything that could go wrong.”
Linda, who had a baby at 40, says she would have loved to have kids earlier, but ultimately, it was likely for the best it happened in her forties. “I was too selfish before then,” she says. “I know a baby would have snapped me out of that, but I don’t know that I would have been ready – I probably would have been a bit resentful and missed my old life. I was ready to slow my life down at 40. I want to be home. I’m so much more patient now and I think that makes the experience so much easier. Patience is definitely key!”
Melanie went through IVF and had a baby at 45. “It took a lot to get here, but it was worth the wait,” she says. “I feel younger now than I did at 35. Being a mother has given me so much purpose. I got in shape to have this baby – and once I got signed off, I was back lifting weights. I want to make sure I’m in my best health for my son.”
And Melanie is onto something. While yes, there’s lots of concerns around having a baby later in life – it’s not all bad news. Women who have their last child after age 33 are twice as likely to live to 95. Those who have a baby in their 40s are four times as likely to live to 100.
But while I’ve loved getting to experience motherhood in my forties, it isn’t without its challenges. For me, the aspect I find the most difficult is juggling having young children but also ageing parents. My mum was 38 when she had me, so is now in her 80s and has some significant health issues.
Being a parent and juggling life can often mean you feel like you’re always dropping the ball somewhere – if you’re with your kids, it feels like work is being neglected. If you’re distracted by work, you feel guilty about your kids. Having the responsibilities of ageing parents needing your help adds a whole new ball to the impossible juggle.
Milly says the challenge of being in the sandwich generation definitely weighs on her, but she finds the hardest aspect of being an older mum is having postpartum run seamlessly into perimenopause.
“I was 42 when I had my son and the postpartum period was brutal,” she says. “I started HRT at 44 but I’m not sure where postpartum ended and perimenopause began – it felt like they collided. Having a toddler and perimenopause is no joke. Lots of people I know who had babies later say they love the patience they have as older mums, but I can’t relate. I had ZERO patience.”
She says she also found some of the comments over this time “grating”. “A lot of people would make comments about my age and joke about it, and I did not have the time or patience for it. Someone once confused me for being her grandmother and I burst into tears.”
It can be a strange situation, having a child in your forties. On more than one occasion I’ve been chatting to another woman at a play group who has a child there of a similar age when I’ve made the slow realisation that she is the child’s grandmother, not their mother, despite being a similar age to me.
Melanie, who we heard from earlier who had a baby at 45, says she has no time for anyone who dares to say anything to her about her age and whether it was the right thing for her child. “I remember a woman asking me when I was pregnant if I wasn’t being a bit selfish having a baby so late, when it was more likely they’d have to deal with my death at a young age,” she says. “I certainly shut her up by telling her that I lost my mother when I was three – she was only 27 at the time. Time isn’t promised to any of us. I might die tomorrow when my daughter is only five. She’ll still have more time with me than I had with my mum. Or I may live to 100. I could still see my grandchildren have children.”
