When you get pregnant the first time, there’s a certain amount of not knowing what you’re in for – in a good way and in a bad way. But the second time around, there can be an increased amount of fear about what comes with having a newborn and the juggle of going from one to two kids. We talk to a mum who’s got a two-year-old toddler – and another child on the way – about doubling the juggle, and running her own business at the same time.
Welcome to our series, The Motherhood Diaries – a safe space for you to share your experiences, advice, hopes and heartbreaks. We’ll be hearing from industry experts giving practical advice alongside Capsule readers (You!) sharing your firsthand experiences. We’re looking at everything from fertility, trying to conceive, pregnancy, the fourth trimester, newborns, toddlers, children’s mental health and teenagers, fertility issues and everything in between!
When Devon Eastwood was pregnant with her first child, there was a lot of well-meaning advice that she took in her stride. But now that she’s got a two-year-old and she’s pregnant with her second child, she admits that she’s a lot more intimidated about going from one to two kids.
“As much as I look forward to welcoming baby number two after trying longer than anticipated to get here, I can’t help but feel a huge wave of apprehension wash over me,” she tells Capsule. “The first time around, there’s a certain blissful ignorance that comes with not fully understanding what lies ahead.”
As any new parent will tell you, it’s one thing to be told ‘the baby needs to eat every three hours’ and another thing to experience what that actually does to your body, mind and overall life.
“During my first pregnancy, I used to brush off well-meaning advice like ‘sleep while you can’ and ‘say goodbye to your social life,’ thinking ‘how bad could it really be?’”
She and her partner, Campbell, welcomed their daughter Beau in 2021 and they’re ‘only now just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel’ when it comes to Beau sleeping through the night.
“If I’m honest, I’m feeling a mix of excitement and a whole heap of dread about the thought of going through the whirlwind of newborn life again, especially with a two-year-old in tow and a business to run.”
Devon was 26 years old when she became a mum, and starting a family coincided with running her fine jewellery business, Silver Linings Collective. There was always an assumption that she and Campbell would have more than one child – they both grew up in families of four, where a sibling was a source of companionship and someone to play with.
“My bond with my sister is like nothing else,” Devon says. “A sibling can share experiences, build memories together, and support each other through life’s ups and downs. Which is essentially what my sister and I have done for each other over the years; I’m so thankful I have her in my life.”
But while the idea of having two children seemed straightforward in theory, the reality of navigating the newborn phase with their first child while juggling a thriving business was far more challenging than expected. “Those initial months were really tough, and we found it hard to envision adding another child amid the sleepless nights and the strain on our personal time, relationship, and work-life balance.”
The question of whether or not to add another sibling to the family was answered when Beau was two, and their wee family joined another for a family holiday. “Watching Beau interact with others made us realise how much joy it would bring her to have a sibling – a little playmate to share experiences with,” Devon says. “But by no means was this a decision we took lightly and we are also nervous about how to juggle it all, as a business can be your other child.”
Devon says that the not-at-all helpful advice of ‘sleep while the baby is sleeping’ just didn’t work for her, when it came to running the business and having a newborn. “I wish it had been true, but most days it didn’t happen – naptime was my only time to work!”
“I think a lot of mothers out there are with me on this one, when your baby is sleeping and you have about an hour or so to whizz around the house getting as much as you possibly can done,” she laughs. “From washing, to making your click and collect order, to planning dinner or washing the baby bottles…. Or even jumping in the shower at 1pm to shave your legs!”
Being the founder of Silver Linings Collective meant that there was a pretty immediate blur between maternity leave and going back to work, and Devon said it was hard to take time out when she could see the impact it had on the business.
“The hardest part was having to show up on social media when I was sleep deprived and have little to no motivation to do so – but if I didn’t, then I could see the repercussions first hand in a decline in sales,” she says.
“Running a business really is all about, ‘what you put in, you get out.’ At this point in my life, it all comes down to time and energy demands. It’s not going to be easy – it’s going to be hard, but I keep reminding myself that it’s also temporary.”
The juggle aside, Devon says she is looking forward to experiencing birth and the newborn stage outside of the Covid restrictions that were still in place when Beau was born. As well as that, she’s hopeful that this time around she’ll be in a better place to stop and enjoy the sweet moments that come being in the newborn bubble.
“I have an amazing team in place to help run Silver Linings Collective in the background; I want to hold my little boy while he sleeps in my arms, and not be on my phone feeling like I have to crack on,” she says. “There’s been a lot of reflection during this pregnancy.”
She’s also learned two important lessons from the first time around: check in with your support system and get out of the house every day. “From previous experiences I’ve learnt I’m not great at asking for help when I’m needing a break or feeling overwhelmed, but I do feel much more confident in asking for help these days,” she says.
“Living rurally I’d like to get out more during that postpartum stage. I didn’t leave the house much the first time because I found it overwhelming and unpredictable as to how the day would unfold, but also so that I could pack orders from home when they came in.”
This time, she wants to lean into her community more. “I have a group of friends all due around the same time as our wee boy and I can definitely see us going out for walks and coffee dates which is good for the mind, body and soul. I’ve learnt it’s really important to get out of the house, otherwise each day is the same.”
For founders and mothers in the same place of trying to juggle an expanding family and business demands, Devon says she’s found listening to podcasts helpful. She recommends Bored to Boss: “There are a few episodes of women who are in business who also juggle family time and kids which I found super inspirational,” she says. “There were lots of tips and tricks to help ease your every day, so you don’t reach that overwhelming burnout feeling.”
Her biggest bit of advice she’s hoping to take on this time? “Try not to compare myself to other people. As we know, comparison can be a thief of joy and watching other insta mums do it all is not helpful. We’re all on different journeys.”
