On this Mother’s Day, Emma Clifton looks at the best fictional mums pop culture has to offer (for a variety of sometimes odd reasons)
Maria Von Trapp from
The Sound of Music
Pros: You know who would have bloody nailed every lockdown? Maria Von Trapp. She’s resourceful (keep your best curtains away from her), she’s well-versed in home schooling during a time of no screens, plus she’s spent so much time in a convent, she’s very used to being bored and indoors.
She knows the importance of fresh air and coming up with a fun little ditty that keeps children occupied on public outings. She’s also good at setting boundaries for the little ones, while understanding that teenage girls need a little flexibility. Go have a twirl around the gazebo with your boyfriend, Liesl! You’re dressed so well for it.
Cons: Sometimes a bad judge of character. That boy is a NAZI, Maria. Also, she did fall in love with a soon-to-be married man, but honestly… who wouldn’t break some moral rules for Christopher Plummer, both then AND now.
Interesting note: If you’ve ever thought the Baroness deserved better, please enjoy this satirical letter informing her friends of the break-up.
Jane from It’s Complicated
Pros: I’m writing this while listening to a Spotify playlist called Nancy Meyer’s Kitchen, which should tell you how strongly I feel about this particular protagonist. Meryl (I know she’s technically ‘Jane,’ but she’s always Meryl to me), is at the height of her flibbertigibbet powers in this movie, darting around in loose, neutral linens while cooking up amazing dishes.
As a mum, you know that her fridge would always be stocked to perfection. “Mummm, what is there to eat?” you would lazily cry into the fridge, only to have Meryl lovingly chuckle and hand you a full roast chicken, some leftover chocolate cake, a still-warm cinnamon roll and a crisp glass of white wine. Plus, she’s very fun! She smokes pot and makes chocolate croissants but only once, which is exactly how many times you would want your mum to do that before it got weird.
Cons: This woman cannot get her shit together on the love life front. I’m sorry, but who picks Steve Martin over Alec Baldwin (character names not important). Steve Martin is a tall glass of low-fat milk. Alec is a short tumbler of delicious bourbon.
Interesting point: “Turns out, I’m a bit of a slut,” is the best thing any Meryl Streep character has ever said.
Cheryl West from Outrageous Fortune
Pros: In the latest Fiona Apple album she refers to herself as “I’m a good man in a storm”, and that feels very close to Cheryl’s energy as a matriarch. When the chips are down, she’s the one you’d turn to. And as a member of her family, she’d have your back.
You know how they always warn you to stay away from a wild animal’s young, lest you unleash their mother’s protective rage? That’s Cheryl (right down to the leopard print). She’s lived quite the life, so there would be a lot of experience-based advice to be handed out – never with judgement, but with the wise cackle of someone who’s been there. Also, she was well-ahead of the curve with the belief that tampons should be free (a feminist leader, you could argue).
Cons: I mean, there’s a bit of a temper there.
Frankie Bergstein from Grace & Frankie
Pros: Frankie is roughly 45 years older than me and I would still wear every single item of clothing she owns. She’s both independent and maternal. She’s spiritual, very much into yoga and chakras and chanting, so she’s pretty chill, but also… quite batshit crazy. A fun mix! She’s also sex positive, she cares about the environment, and is an artist. If she was a 25-year-old white man with this mix of qualities, she would probably be insufferable. But as a 70-something-year-old woman? Sign us up for some mentoring at the next full moon.
Cons: Between the pot smoking and the spiritual quests, she would be quite hard to find, a lot of the time.
Bow from Black-ish
Pros: Tracee Ellis Ross (daughter of Diana Ross) is one of the most beautiful, charismatic women in the world, and all of that positive energy comes just shining on through in her character Rainbow ‘Bow’ Johnson in this hit TV show. Her and Dre model a super functional, delightful, joyous marriage based on respect and love (which is sadly pretty rare in the world of pop culture).
She’s a great mix of hippy in her downtime but super professional in her work time and she just radiates sunny maternal energy. You know her hugs would be next level! Plus she gives extremely useful nuggets of wisdom, while wearing a pair of sick hoop earrings and a bright lip.
Cons: Your male friends would absolutely flirt with her and that would be confusing for everyone involved.
A final note: It’s hard for me to write this, because I was lucky enough to be born to the two best parents in the entire world. But, also luckily, they did instil into me an excellent imagination and that is how I can compile this list. (Also, I hope that this counts instead of a Mother’s Day card, Mum. Here’s us in the late 80’s, absolutely nailing prints then, now, and always).
