The White Lotus Series 3 Review: yip, it’s here. The new series hits our screens on February 17. So, is it any good? Particularly after the departure of our beloved Tanya?
Oh, to be able to transport yourself right here.
It’s a beautifully serene scene. A young man, Zion, is sitting cross-legged on the floor of what is clearly the most five-star of all five-star resorts, about to embark on a guided meditation. Opposite him is an immaculately presented young woman, Amrita, who gives you the feeling that while yes, as a meditation guide she obviously believes in woo-woo, she’s certainly not here to take any nonsense.
It’s not Zion’s first time meditating – his mother is into all this stuff, and she’s the one who pushed him into doing this session. He admits it’s because he’s been very stressed with “finals and…y’know, some other stuff…” (ominous much?). Amrita doesn’t pry, and moves straight into the meditation, which Zion easily slips into. Until, something distracts him – a strange sound in the distance.
Did something just fall from a tree? Are the monkeys in the trees surrounding them something to do with it? They do seem a bit concerned.
In an instant it becomes clear, and he gently but urgently brings Amrita out of her trance to join him: “Ma’am, that’s a gun”.
Guests and staff – and monkeys – are running now. They’re panicked and screaming as they run from the direction the gunfire is coming from. Amrita rises to run away, but Zion says he can’t leave – his mother is out there, he has to get to her. He has to go toward the sound.
He slides into the water of the tranquil ponds surrounding them, moving as stealthily as possible through the lush gardens, moving in and out of the water. He comes across a Buddha statue and stops for a moment to pray for the safety of his mother, and for himself.
Which is when he spots it in the water near him… the unmistakable shape of a floating body.
And so, we find ourselves once more in the regular swing of things in what has become one of our favourite TV shows to date: The White Lotus.
We’re well used to this episode one format by now: a decadently beautiful resort, a dead body and then a flash back to a week before when the new batch of guests are arriving. We know that in short succession within this first episode we’ll meet around two dozen cast members. We’ll hate a lot of them. They’ll be obsessed with money, status, power, youthfulness and sex. We’ll have no idea what it going on. It’ll be intense, confusing, chaotic and captivating – and then, over the next eight or so episodes we’ll become hooked, incredibly invested in these insane characters, whether we love them, empathise with them or completely despise them. Sometimes, we’ll somehow have all three feelings for them all.
Despite being a show about horrible rich people, behaving horribly, it’s incredibly riveting. Even three seasons in.
But the biggest hurdle season three has to overcome is a great big gaping loss in it’s lineup. We’re used to meeting entirely new people each season, but series one and two carried through two characters: one had very little screentime (that scoundrel, Greg), the other, became the star of the whole damn thing – Tanya, played by Jennifer Coolidge.
Tanya was absolutely bonkers, but I’d argue was easily the best part of the whole thing. So, can the show possibly survive without her?
Well, in short, my verdict (after watching the first fabulous four episodes) is it does take a beat to get there but it looks like it will be just as good as previous seasons (which is pretty high praise, no!?).
Episode one is, like all the other series, bizarre and kind of confusing. Who are all these insane people? Who died? What the hell is Parker Posey’s voice doing? Why are all her children so insane? What is all this sexual innuendo between them?!? Um… what?!
But, we also get a surprise pay-off very early on, with the surprise return of an unexpected character that is still under embargo and I cannot elaborate on I’M SORRY. I can tell you that when the shot cuts to them, perfectly framed, I yelled out loud, “Ohmigod, it’s ******!!!!).
And I’m not talking about the other character who we knew was coming back: the wonderful Natasha Rothwell, who plays Belinda. She was the woman who worked at the hotel spa in Maui, in the show’s first season – the one who Tanya took a real shine to and was telling that she was going to bankroll Belinda’s dream of running her own spa (before Tanya all but ghosted her). Belinda is on a sabbatical of sorts at the Thailand – specially the Koh Samui – White Lotus, from her regular spa within the Maui branch. She’s there to learn new techniques and share information – but has she unwittingly put herself in danger’s way?
Besides Belinda there’s a number of solid, fascinating, hilarious, hideous and captivating groups of characters. I’d argue they’re the best in this series yet (besides Tanya obviously, there always needs to be a disclaimer about Tanya!).
There’s the bonkers family with that southern drawl, headed by Victoria and Timothy Ratcliff (Parker Posey and Jason Isaacs). They’re joined by their three children (who each have something going on), but the biggest secrets lie with Timothy, a successful banker whose life is starting to unravel after making a BIG mistake and now looks set to lose his fortune, his family’s good name – and surely serve some jail time. At first I didn’t know what to make of Victoria, but she soon became a stand-out fave and I’ve been saying some of her lines ‘Do you want to take one of my piii-iiils?’ or ‘Do you think you’ll be able to sleep after napping all day?’ out loud that make no sense to anyone but God, she’s hilarious.
One of the most exciting parts about this story is that the White Lotus staff member assigned to the family is cheery Pam, played by none other than Morgana O’Reilly, a Capsule Good B*tch! Morgana is perfection in the role, and, it feels very exciting in the first episode to see her – particularly when, not long into it, she seems to have had a lot of the dialogue. Pam has the unenviable job of trying to persuade the Ratcliffe family to part ways with all their electronics for their stay – or, to at least police Timothy’s use of cellphones out in the shared guest areas (a big no no at the tranquil White Lotus).
There’s the girl group, of Jaclyn, Laurie and Kate (played by powerhouses Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon and Leslie Bibb), who are three longtime (don’t call them old!!!) friends who don’t get to see much of each other due to their busy lives and the fact they’re strewn across the US. Jaclyn is a pretty big deal TV star, who has paid for the opulent villa at The White Lotus, and early on we’re privy to a bit of strain in the dynamic of the trio. It seems they all have a quiet few judgements about each other. Are they as good friends as they thought? Did one of them vote for Trump!? And what role will Valentin, the Adonis-like (and clearly single) White Lotus therapist play in unravelling their bonds?
Then there’s my favourite character, Chelsea. Chelsea (played by Aimee Lou Wood) has incredible cartoony eyes and teeth and anytime the camera is on her it is magic. Chelsea – who is English – is on holiday with her partner. He’s a grumpy, older American, Rick (played by Walton Goggins) who is tortured by some demons from his past – demons he seems poised to confront on this trip. But who exactly is his enemy, and what will he do when he finds them? And, will he ever let Chelsea in on his secrets?
Lastly, we have Gaitok and Mook – two young White Lotus employees. Gaitok (played by Tayme Thapthimthong) works at the security checkpoint and is hopelessly in love with Mook (Lalisa Manoban), who seems to laugh off his romantic gestures, but still turns up to eat lunch with him alone every day. Whilst loveable and sweet, Gaitok has a rather lax approach to his job – could his carelessness lead to disaster?
In short, if you’ve been holding out for series three, but you’ve been feeling nervous that it’ll be a letdown without Tanya… well, I think you’re going to miss her, but you’re going to love this series all the same.
