I owe everyone in my book club an apology. Turns out, while they turn up for the wine, the cheese, the gossip and the book reviews, (precisely in that order) I nudge (read: shove) them down the self-help, woo-woo, slightly spiritual route in my own attempt at starting a women’s circle.
Of course, I have no idea I am doing this. Before I attend Nurture Me Women’s Wellness retreat at the gorgeous Camp Glenorchy, nestled in the gorgeous town that’s situated up the other end of Lake Wakatipu than Queenstown, if the words women and circle end up in the same sentence I cringe at the Gwyneth-like connotations of BYI yoni balls and group vaginal encounters. I mean I’m all for the WAP generation of female empowerment, but I’ve seen Ms. Paltrow on Netflix. Hand mirrors and legs spread? It’s a no thanks from me.
So, it’s a huge relief to be the safe hands of physiotherapist Emma Ferris and yoga instructor Sarsha Hope, sitting on my yoga mat writing words of affirmation in my journal, feeling nothing but connected to the circle of female strangers fanning out beside me. On this two-day gathering there are friends who booked at the last minute with zero expectations, over stretched mums’ who need a getaway from the kids, a couple of return attendees, a few of us who lost our jobs due to Covid and are re-assessing our priorities and a famous film director on a mini break between shoots. All so different and yet all here for very much the same reasons.
It helps that Emma, who is a breath coach, and Sarsha, who runs women’s meditation and initiation courses, are friends in both life and business and their own deep connection with each other permeates the teachings they share over the duration of the weekend.
Emma Sarsha
Emma leads us through breathing exercises that lower blood pressure leaving us with a sense of complete calm that overtakes our entire beings. Fully trained in science, she explains that Tend and Befriend research undertaken in the early 2000’s, found that women reacted differently to men in stressful situations. It made a link between our evolutionary programming for survival with our fundamental necessity for support from other females at different stages of our lives.
“When you don’t feel safe around other women, think teenagers being bullied or dysfunctional relationships between mother and daughter,” she explains, “your body releases more stress hormones.” Whether that is when we are having children or when we are elderly, our stress response can be triggered we are not being nurtured.
Sarsha, on the other hand, who has her own 16-year-old daughter Sahara assisting her with classes, takes us from high to low, at various times up on our feet dancing ecstatically with our eyes closed, to a candle-lit class of dreamy yin yoga. At the close of every evening we float back to our solar-heated cottage accommodation, wrapped in the warmth of wool blankets and self-love.
Lauded by Time Magazine as one of the World’s 100 Greatest Places of 2019, Camp Glenorchy eco retreat has won numerous sustainability awards making it the perfect location for our nurturing retreat. Along with an on-site chef who cooks us nutrient-dense yet delicious meals, the buildings are surrounded by snow-capped mountains and on day two we are led on a silent barefoot walk around the gardens experiencing the sensations of texture and temperature as the chill of a South Island winter is absorbed through our feet to our brains.
A premium eco-cabin Take a wander through Glenorchy to find picturesque spots like this The camp itself
Both wellness coaches see many of their female clients craving strong female connection where they feel safe to open up. And while these relationships can take time to build Emma and Sarsha have an almost magical knack for bringing women together to create a safe environment in a matter of hours.
Our first attempt at making a circle is definitely more of an egg-shape but by our second session we are perfectly round. Many share their experience of the retreat thus far while others talk of future goals and past failings. There is laughter and there are tears. There is not a hand mirror in sight.
Sometimes called red tents and commonly held on a full moon, women’s circles are definitely having a moment. But If the idea of one still sounds a bit too much like a GOOP convention for your tastes, Emma suggests that book club or drinks or coffee catch ups with the girls are all forms of modern-day women’s groups. “When we are supported and listened to by other women our stress hormones go down,” she says. “And our oxytocin, or nurture, cuddle hormones, go up.”
And the best news of all is that there is another Nurture Me retreat coming up in November.
“Going on retreat with only women is a deeper way of building trust, conversation and connection,” says Emma. “Being around other women who make us feel good changes our physiology and therefore changes our breathing.”
Vanessa was hosted courtesy of Camp Glenorchy. For more information on their upcoming November retreat, click here.
