Saturday, April 20, 2024

What I Think The Chase Is About, Having Only Ever Seen The Last 30 Seconds

Getting to know the cultural phenomenal The Chase, based entirely on the final 30 seconds that play before the news starts.

One of the ways I know I have slid into middle age is the sudden impulse to watch the news every night, which means that I am always catching the last 30 seconds of The Chase. I know that The Chase is a cultural phenomenon but having only ever caught the ending – and the truly bonkers, new Millennium-style set??? – here are some assumptions I’ve made about what it’s actually about.

– Re-enactment of Matilda where the lady in a bow tie is playing The Trunchbull and yelling at the bad children (contestants)

– Re-enactment of Oliver where the contestants are children begging for more food and the person at the top of the slope (Slide King?) slides bowls of porridge down the slide if they deserve it

Hunger Games style competition which is why sometimes there are three contestants (RIP) and sometimes there is only one (Katniss)

The Apprentice-style job interview where Boss (Slide King? Chaser?) grills them about their management style and then picks one of them to lead a company which will turn out to be a pyramid scheme in 3-5 years 

– Who is Britain’s next Prime Minister? Slide King gets the final vote.

– Niche talent competition amongst only white people (there is no singing) and Slide King is The Decider?

– Like The Generation Game where appliances slide down the giant slide and they have to guess how much they are worth (the giant slide has to be there for a reason, right?)

– Debating panel trying to sell the concept of the modern Monarchy to someone not from the UK. 

– Professional Duck Duck Goose where one of them chases the other (known as ‘The Chaser’)

America’s Next Top Model but instead it’s for middle-aged British people (Slide King is Tyra).

In conclusion, even though I know this is one of the biggest shows on the planet, I’m quite tempted to never watch a full episode because what could compare with my dreams of a modern day Generation Game (child of the 80s, over here).

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