Edna Swart got the surprise of her life when she took a pregnancy test on a whim (she has polycystic ovary syndrome [PCOS] and is very used to having irregular periods) and discovered she was pregnant. She’d soon discover she was already 14 weeks. Now, just over a year down the track after giving birth to her gorgeous son Astyn, she’s reflecting on her motherhood journey.
Welcome to our column, A Letter To… Some of our most well-known Kiwis and everyday heroes pen letters about a topic close to their hearts. Some of their names you will know very well, while other’s are kept anonymous to protect the privacy of the subjects. Whether it is a letter to a specific someone, or a group of people, or simply an open letter to broach a difficult subject, each letter is very different, but all will share one common thread; they will all be written from the heart.You can read our other letters here.
This month Edna Swart – CEO, entrepreneur, mother to one-year-old Astyn and the host of the fab new podcast, Reality of the Hustle, has penned an open letter to all working women…
They say becoming a mother changes everything. And they’re right. But what they often leave out is how deeply, and sometimes unexpectedly, it changes you.
Before my son was born, I had already built a business from scratch. I’d learned to pitch in boardrooms, negotiate contracts, manage teams, ride out rebrands, and build product lines on two hours of sleep and too much caffeine. I knew hustle. I knew sacrifice. I knew what it meant to give everything for something you believe in.
But nothing, not business setbacks, not burnout, not even the chaos of launch weeks, prepared me for the kind of transformation that comes when you become someone’s whole world.
The first year of motherhood for me, wasn’t just another chapter. It was a full rewrite. And let’s be honest – it wasn’t always graceful. It was anything but.
I remember sitting on the nursery floor, holding my baby in one arm while on a call with a manufacturer using the other. My laptop was balanced on a basket of unfolded laundry, and my notes were scrawled on the back of a nappy box. At that moment, I wasn’t just a founder or a mum. I was both. Fully. Simultaneously. Imperfectly.
Motherhood is not the end of who you were. It’s the beginning of who you’re becoming.
It teaches you how to live in paradox. You’re fraying at the seams, surviving sleep regressions, leaking milk during meetings, and yet somehow showing up, leading, loving, building, nurturing. There’s no manual for this version of you. There’s no HR department for motherhood.
And if you’re a working mother, especially one who’s running her own business, the juggle is relentless. You feel like you’re walking a tightrope between ambition and presence, wondering if you’re too much in one and not enough in the other.
There were days I’d leave the office with a presentation still open on my screen and breast pump parts rolling around in my handbag. Other days I’d cancel meetings because I couldn’t bear to miss his first solids or storytime. People love to remind you: “You can’t give 100% to both.” But I’ve stopped trying to split my life into clean percentages. Now I ask: Did I show up where I was needed most today?
Some days the business wins. Other days, my baby gets all of me. And when I give myself the grace to be fluid instead of flawless, the guilt, that ever-present companion of modern motherhood, starts to soften.
The truth is, motherhood has made me a better businesswoman. It has sharpened my instincts, deepened my empathy, and taught me how to lead with both backbone and heart. I make decisions faster now, not because I’m rushed, although I usually am, but because I don’t have time to second-guess myself into paralysis. I’ve learned to prioritise with a fierceness that only comes from having 45 minutes between feeds to make a strategic call that would have once taken a full day of meetings.
When I return to my desk after cuddles, cries, and chaos, I bring with me a kind of clarity that no university degree could teach. I’m not just leading a company, I’m modelling leadership for the little person watching me.
And let me say this, for the woman who is standing on the edge of this next chapter, fearful that motherhood will dim your light or derail your dreams- It won’t. You don’t lose yourself when you become a mother. You find new layers. You level up. You become more, not less.
Yes, you will be stretched. You’ll face days that feel endless and nights that are even longer. You’ll cry in the carpark before a meeting, and you’ll celebrate milestones, both business and baby, with mascara-streaked cheeks and a heart full of gratitude.
But if you can hold space for all of it, the mess and the magic, you’ll find that motherhood isn’t just another role. It’s a catalyst. It makes you braver, softer, sharper, and more real than ever before.
It’s the most contradicting journey you’ll ever take, exhausting and exhilarating, maddening and miraculous, grounding and elevating. And while you may not feel like you’re doing it “right” every day, if you’re doing it with love, you’re already doing it well.
To every mother navigating the chaos of baby bottles and balance sheets, I see you. And I salute you.