Parenting is hard – incredible and rewarding – but hard. Those baby years, those toddler years, those teenage years! But, for writer Amy Lyall, all it took was a few words to change her perspective on parenting…
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You’d think going to a tax appointment would really only bring feelings of relief – hello, refund – or stress, looking down the barrel of a tax bill.
Surprisingly my appointment to lodge my tax return hit me so hard in the feels that I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
My husband and I had to take our daughter with us, she was home sick from daycare and the man who did our tax said something that is basically living rent free in my head right now.
“I’d give anything to have my kids that little again, even if it was just for half-an-hour,” he said while we were trying to keep her happy during the appointment.
My first thought was, “Seriously?” but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I get it.
And it’s changed my perspective on parenting right now.
I know everyone tells you that you’ll miss these days.
But when you’re in the midst of sleep regressions, tantrums, defiance, a new found sense of confidence from a toddler who loves the word “no”, it can be so easy to wish the time away.
During the days that are filled with what seems like constant tantrums – and I’m talking full-blown, nuclear, throw-yourself-on-the-ground-at-the-shops screaming, why would you want to do this all again? And even for just half an hour?
But that’s not the point.
It’s easy to get bogged down in the trenches of the bad, when you’re in it.
You take them somewhere special and they cry the whole time. You go on a holiday and all they do is throw tantrums. You take a road trip and immediately regret it when the whining starts 10 minutes into a five-hour drive.
I get it, I’m living it right now.
But taking a step back has made me realise that focusing on all the negatives means you’re also the glimmers of good and that’s the stuff that you’re going to miss.
I’ve started to try to see things differently, because those words have really stuck with me.
I’m making the most of the cuddles before bed, even if it means that she doesn’t want to go in the cot and my small window of ‘me time’ of an evening is disappearing before my eyes, because it won’t last forever.
When she handed me a book as I was about to start cooking dinner and said, “You read this to me mummy?” of course I did, heading into the kitchen can wait for a couple of minutes.
Instead of getting frustrated that she won’t let me help put her shoes on as we try to rush out the door, I’m trying to stay calm and praise her for trying to do it herself.
The little parts of the day that are good, I’m hanging onto with both hands, trying to mentally soak it up while I have it.
And the parts that I’m wishing away – and let’s be real every parent with a toddler knows it’s the tantrums and seeing a perfectly good meal thrown to the floor – I’m reminding myself that they aren’t forever either.
I know my time is coming, because it’s slowly starting to creep in already.
Missing those snuggly baby cuddles, wishing I could just go back and have one more contact nap on the couch, seeing her face light up the first time she did something herself. Those feelings are beginning to seep in.
So, while I’m not exactly wishing for that half hour yet, I’m trying to cling onto the good in the now.
This article was reproduced with permission from 9Honey. To read the original article, click here.
