Monday, December 5, 2022

Is It The Mazda Demio or Is It Me? One Driver’s Lament

Let's be friends!

The books we're reading, the vibrators we're using, the rants we're having and more in our weekly EDM.

There are unlucky cars and then there are unlucky drivers. As the anxious driver of a Mazda Demio – NZ’s most stolen car – Emma Clifton is both.

The other day, I was doing a frantic supermarket shop – my only supermarket speed – and I almost crashed into a lovely man, who laughed when he saw me swerve away and said, “You must know about my driving.”

And I laughed too, thinking, “Mate, you have no idea.”

Because I am on my fourth car.

When people talk about selling cars, it’s like they are talking about a distant land I know I will never visit. I have never needed to sell a car, because all of mine have been written off. I can only tell you positive things about AA Insurance, because I basically have them on speed dial.

I went through two Nissan Marches – the first was sunshine yellow and he was nicknamed Honeybee, and just like a bee, he had a short but beautiful life. The second one was called Bluebell and it also bloomed and faded quickly.

Then I moved onto a Mazda Demio (version 2.0, currently) and things got really interesting. Because as many recent news stories will tell you, the Mazda Demio is the most stolen car in NZ. And this is not an exaggeration.

According to AMI insurance, the Mazda Demio is the #1 stolen car in NZ and makes up 10% of their insurance claims. And 1/3 of all car thefts take place in Auckland.  

Every time, I am surprised and shocked, even though I know a) the statistics and b) my own luck.

I rent in a fancy area on a very steep street and my first Mazda Demio (named Pamela) simply never got the chance to be stolen, because someone crashed into it while it was parked and smashed it to bits. But my current car, called Bison (good luck, Bison) has been hit once while parked on the street and she has been broken into twice. Every time, I am surprised and shocked, even though I know a) the statistics and b) my own luck.

It’s been a bad pandemic season for Bison, who was hit in November 2020, broken into October 2021, and then broken into again three weeks later. That last time they managed to get into the car and pull out the whole dashboard, steal my Taylor Swift 1989 CD, my Adele 21 CD, and ½ of my Beyoncé boxset. Thankfully, they left the unmarked CD that includes the recording of my most successful psychic session and the faded collection of novelty air fresheners that dangle from my rear-view mirror (I only buy car items that can be transferred easily from car to car, for obvious reasons).

One time when I was getting my car window fixed, I ran into a friend and complained about the situation. She was very sympathetic, until she asked what kind of car I had. When I said I had a Mazda Demio, she literally snorted. “Well, even I want to break into them.” When I see other Mazda Demios out and about, I send them – and their drivers – sympathetic thoughts.

My current strategy is to put a steering wheel lock on, open all the compartments and leave simply nothing in my car at all, ever. Not even a drink bottle. It’s been five months of this strategy and it’s working well.

Wish us both luck x

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