Ever heard of a reverse bucketlist? We’ve all heard of a bucketlist, but, if you’re going through a stressful time, an uncertain time or just need a boost, a reverse bucketlist is a great way to instantly change your mindset.
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About 10 years ago, I found myself on Struggle Street.
I was in my early thirties and having one of those quite classic periods of doubt/worry/stress.
I was starting to realise that I didn’t love the path my career was taking. I’d absolutely loved my last role, but now… I just didn’t really believe in what I was doing. I thought maybe doing charity work in my spare time might help, and, sure it did, but it wasn’t going to fix the problem I had with my job (I just didn’t quite realise that yet!).
I had great friends, but I was also single after being in a relationship for all of my twenties (which I’d got into right off the back of a long relationship throughout my teen years. Yikes). I’d been to enough weddings in my early thirties for it to feel like everyone else was on a different timeline – and maybe I was missing out?
I decided to live by myself for a while – which I loved – but I’d also find myself awake at night worrying. I’d worry about my finances, about whether I might ever have children, about whether I’d ever be in a secure relationship, about whether I’d made the right choices in life. Should I have gone on an OE? Had I made the right career move? Should I have really pursued that relationship I’d wondered about? Had I done enough with my life so far? Was I where I should be in my early thirties?!? [Forty-something-year-old me wishes I could have known then what I know now, but I remember how horrible that knot in my stomach at 3am felt at the time).
It was during those ‘what the heck am I doing?!’ months that I heard about keeping a gratitude journal – which I started doing. [NOTE: This is not actually a story about keeping a gratitude journal!]
Then I decided I needed a proper journal instead of writing things down on random pieces of paper, so one Sunday afternoon I took myself on a little walk from my apartment down to a Kikki.K store (remember Kikki.K!?! I miss you Kikki.K!).
There, I found a table of journals that were on sale which happened to include a beautiful eggshell blue Gratitude Journal – even on special it was still way more than I intended on spending on something to write my gratitude lists in, but by that time I’d already fallen in love with it and had to have it. It had little tabs! It had little sections! It was cute! It was going to change my life!
I bought a ridiculously expensive pen to really enjoy this new little ritual I was going to do every day. For the week, I wrote down three things I was grateful for each day. I waited to feel calm and amazing and be operating on a whole new level of zen. By week two, It was feeling more and more like a chore, and I was still awake at 3am worrying.
But that weekend I had an afternoon free and I was looking through my gratitude journal when i realised there were other sections of the book I’d completely missed, and one of them, would actually very soon change my mind set.
It was a reverse bucket list.
If you’ve never heard of this – neither had I.
My little journal said:
“A bucket list is known as a list of everything a person wants to achieve or experience before they die. Instead of dreaming about the future, think about your life so far. What have you accomplished. What makes you happy? What are you proud of? Create your unique reverse bucket list – a list of all your life achievements to date. Things you might once have written on a bucket list, but that you have already accomplished or experienced. Great people you’ve met. Places you’ve been. Goals you’ve achieved. Dreams you’ve made a reality.”
And so, I set about writing my list. It took a while to get going, but soon I had filled up every little space in the two pages available for the list.
It was… surprisingly transformative!?! There was so much on this list I was proud of and grateful for – things I’d accomplished in my career, amazing people I’d met, people I’d loved, places I’d seen, things that had put me out of my comfort zone, amazing experiences I’d had. Looking back at the list, I felt good.
I’d been spending too much time focusing on what I hadn’t done or ticked off, to appreciate what I had done and what I did have in my life.
This small task really did change my mindset, and when I felt myself being bogged down with those thoughts of doubt, or comparing myself to others and feeling negative, I’d come back to that list.
I’ve never been much good at sticking with a gratitude journal in the years since, but periodically, I come back to doing a reverse bucket list. And damn, it’s a good feeling. When I’m not in a good patch, it instantly makes me refocus and feel grateful and contented. And when I’m in a good place, it boosts my mood and gets me inspired for what I’d like to write next on the list.
Wherever you’re at in life, I’d highly recommend it.
