Brodie has synced up with the moon – so now, every time she can’t understand why she’s suddenly so full of rage, she looks up at night and it hits her what might going on… and it happens once every month.
Welcome to TBH – To Be Honest – Capsule’s monthly column with our brand-new columnist and old pal, Brodie Kane! In her latest edition, she shares her thoughts her two VERY different sides to her personality that emerge when it comes to watching Love Island.
And for her previous columns, click here!
I woke up on Tuesday morning, incandescent with rage. I cannot tell you why (well, actually it turns out I can haha).
I had had four glorious days hosting 19 of the Solo Girls Run Club girlies in Marlborough, but WHY DID I FEEL LIKE I HATED EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING IN SIGHT?!?
I faffed around the house, unable to get my shit together in normal efficient Brodie fashion, and spent the remainder of the day running around like a blue-arsed fly, in mind and body. I couldn’t stay on task, my mind was sloppy and loopy and absolutely all over the place, the natural fall back emotion was rage, and I couldn’t reconcile what on earth was wrong with me.
And, then, without fail, like once a month every month, the penny dropped.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
The cycle. AND THE MOON!
I’ve lost my mind because of the thing that happens every god damn month.
Now, for context for those who may not be aware, I only came off the Depo Provera contraception at the back end of 2023 after the better part of 17 years on it (give or take a few moments off it).
Depo-Provera is a high-dose injection of a specific synthetic progesterone known as medroxyprogesterone acetate, given to women every three months for contraception.
It works by releasing progestin into the body, which in turn suppresses estrogen and other hormone levels, preventing ovulation.
Did I know all of this? Yes. Was I aware of the side effects? Yes. Do I think I should have got off it sooner? Yes. But here we are.
As I was making decisions around getting of Depo finally, I had what I called the great bleed out of 2023 for two months, which led to some health concerns, which then led a hysteroscopy (which was thankfully clear of cancer), and my gynaecologist at the time recommended we put a mirena in at the time, to help ease coming off the Depo. The Depo can be complicated as it leaves your system. I was told it could take around six to 12 months to completely be gone, therefore your cycle and anything trying to get back to normal could take time.
Anyway without getting too bogged down (but just helping for context haha) – basically I have had a Mirena since December 2023, and have very much in the past few months been experiencing things that I know were suppressed whilst on the Depo.
For the first few months I experienced weight gain, and found it incredibly difficult to shift weight. I knew I had to be kind to myself because my body was going through some pretty big changes. Shoutout to Lisa Walker – Nutritionist, Lead Researcher from BePure who guided me through all of this too, and told me that this was all normal, and to start being aware that essentially, I was kind of starting again.
And so here we are.
The past four months I have gone around and around in a cycle (you don’t say). And my word, isn’t it a fascinating thing to navigate?!
First, come the emotions. Crying over a song, or a lost baby seal on David Attenborough’s Frozen Planet (I mean that one I would probably cry anytime), or just something that would definitely not normally bring tears. At that moment, I’m starting to realise that we are in fact looming for the business end of the cycle (by the way, I am extremely uneducated when it comes to the cycle/stages of the cycle, and I should say I am also one of those people who hates it all. And I’m sorry, I know there are people and messaging out there that embrace it, the cycles, the bleeding and everything in between and for that I salute you. I am not one of them and have tended to put it all in the too hard basket).I should also say, for clarity, that I don’t get my period on the Mirena so I don’t have that to contend with.
Anyway, then comes the rage. The wild gal. But there must be a couple of days between the emotional wreck and the crazy lady because I almost forget for a minute then BAM! There it is. But how fascinating that you repetitively, every month without fail think “what the bloody hell is wrong with me?!?!?!” It’s like that is part of the cycle too, the little mysterious game your mind and your body play with you every month to keep you on your toes.
And DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE MOON. My business week coincides with the full moon and wow, that’s really a neat additive to the chaos.
So what am I saying here? A few things I think.
And these are NOT words from an expert, just a 38-year old woman learning allllll about her cycle.
I may not be spiritual and into crystals and shit but that moon has GOT to be in sync with us – the big beautiful night thing has a hand in the tides so why wouldn’t it give us a wee nudge too?
Don’t come at me but I think it’s a raw deal that we have to deal with all of this and I know I should possibly try and be more positive like others are and learn to “embrace” it all but quite frankly I’m not there yet.
But, what I will say is that I will do my best to learn more about it, and I promise to keep talking about it. How staggering that we are still in the infancy of communicating, researching and learning about the female body?! We owe it to ourselves to keep pushing forward with this and keeping the communication lines open when it comes to what we deal with.
This, from the Univestiy of Utah Health:
Throughout history, doctors have considered women’s bodies atypical and men’s bodies the “norm,” despite women accounting for nearly half the global population and outnumbering men in the United States since 1946. Though policy and social changes in the 1990s have helped turn the tide, women remain underrepresented in research, sometimes grossly so. Many medical researchers even avoid conducting studies on female mice due to greater costs associated with purchasing and housing both sexes and concerns that the fluctuating hormones and reproductive systems of female mice might confound the study results.
It beggars belief doesn’t it?
And finally, to the women going through perimenopause and menopause – I see you, I hear you. You are not alone and you don’t have to go through it alone. Thank goodness we are moving steadily to a place where women feel like they can talk about these things. I encourage you to keep doing so, and I promise I’ll keep learning about what’s in store for me too.
We’re all in this together (there’s a song in that). X
