Meet three women who went back to study in midlife. Might you be tempted?
A few weeks ago, I wrote a story about going back to university to do an English Honours paper in my 40s, which I loved. There were three other mature students in my class. Though we don’t know the numbers, studying in midlife is definitely happening – sometimes for a new career and sometimes for the love of learning. That’s not always through university, but first trimester university papers begin in February.
Kate, now a clinical psychologist, has changed careers. After getting a degree in English Literature, she taught English as a second language in France for five years, returning to New Zealand to do a master’s degree in English Literature. Then Kate spent five years in Berlin. “I was working in HR, training and development, and it was interesting. But it felt like a default career rather than a career I’d chosen. Did I want to be doing this when I get to my 50s? My husband was working in film and I envied the sense of purpose this career path gave him. We settled in Wellington where he was working.”
After she lost a baby, Kate vividly remembers sitting in Wellington Hospital. “I was looking at the health professionals, thinking ‘how lucky are these people to do something meaningful!’. I was always so curious about knowing why humans do things a certain way. I always had this dream of doing clinical psychology. But I remember thinking about how old I’d be after study, about the money I wouldn’t earn while studying, and about how hard it is to get into clinical, and would I spend all these years working towards it then not ‘get there’?”
Then a friend (who had retrained) passed on a mental trick – for Lisa to tell herself she was a psychologist already. That helped.
Her husband was supportive. “I know it’s a privileged thing, financially. I got scholarships, a fellowship, and a career-change award. We had to have some family support financially at various times. I’ve still got a $40,000 student debt.”
How was it academically? “I’d over-prepare for every test and exam. I tried not to be that annoying person that always puts up their hand and has always done the homework! There was always that insane pressure of the difficulty of getting into clinical, so I got an A-plus average.”
She got into clinical-psychology training, initially part-time then fulltime. (She wishes part-time was an option throughout all clinical-psychology programmes, including to accommodate mothers.) “I fitted in the study around two babies. I did a graduate diploma in science then honours then a doctorate.” It took 10 years.
“I prefer the term ‘returning student’ to ‘mature student’ but that doesn’t quite capture being 42 and sitting in an undergrad class next to an 18-year-old!”
“In psychology, there’s this idea of the ‘child role’, and being an undergraduate student feels like being in the ‘child role’. When you’ve worked as an adult and been taken seriously, being in the child role is uncomfortable, particularly in dealing with academics who I’d otherwise see as peers.”
“Some lecturers talked about how to work with parents. I was often the only parent, the only one who knew about child development first-hand. How could young people understand what it’s like to have sleepless nights, postnatal depression, birthing fears, breastfeeding, and let your child go to daycare, if they had no experience of this? And I’d experienced baby loss and grief. Also, going through clinical training, you go through personal development which is humbling in your 40s; you do a lot of reflection. When I graduated, I felt a sense of relief, particularly becoming a registered health professional who doesn’t feel under constant evaluation from university.”
“I was in my late 40s when I got my first post-training job at a hospital. I have been there for almost three years now and love it.”
Despite a few bumps along the way, she’s very glad she did it. And she’s glad her kids saw their mum taking on a new challenge. “They saw me crying, doubting myself, anxious. Now I tell them that I’m so grateful to them, that I could only do this because they were part of this, and that I love my job. It’s endlessly interesting, a privilege, a gift.”
Her advice to any midlife women considering study to pursue a new career? “I think one of the most important things in life is figuring out what we care about and what matters to us. If you’re lucky enough to be able to pursue something as big and meaningful as further education, that can give you purpose, satisfaction and joy.”
Love of learning
Lou O’Reilly, who runs a PR company with a business partner, has been self-employed for 25 years. Often, people she has met through her work have asked her things about starting a business. “I might tell them how to avoid traps,” Lou says. “I’ve seen small businesses turn to crap because people don’t understand the numbers behind how a business works. That said, I don’t want to feel like a fraud giving people advice just based on my lived experience. So I thought it would be good if I studied something that shows I know my stuff, rather than winging it.”
Hence in 2024 she began her Bachelor of Accounting degree at the Open Polytechnic: a tertiary education institution operating as the specialist national provider of distance learning. “It’s not a university, it’s not about going to lectures. It’s a very different way of learning. Everything is online, with internal assessments submitted each semester. There are chat groups with others studying at the same level, and a private chat group with a lecturer who offers support online. Later in the degree, things get considerably harder with external exams – I’m not at that stage yet.”
Within this degree, she’ll also do five papers on communications and business analysis. “I’m not really a maths person. But the compliance side, tax and how things depreciate – things that probably bore most people – I just love.”
Lou has ADHD. “I was never particularly good at school, bombed out, felt quite useless. Later as an adult I read something about lifelong learning and I thought ‘that means that this world of learning isn’t actually over for me’. Over the years, I’ve discovered I’m a massive nerd and really love learning. I’ve done lots of different papers and little qualifications here and there. I’m a trained makeup artist. I’m a personal trainer. I’m a nutrition coach.”
When she has told people that she’s doing the accounting degree, they predominantly reacted positively. “People know I’m always doing loads of things.”
She’s been taking one paper per semester, but not every single semester. “It might take me 10 years to get this degree!” And she’s okay with that. “Because I don’t want to be an accountant. It’s not a career thing. I’m doing it to understand more.”
Through her PR career, she already knew a lot about some topics, such as business analysis, and communications particularly in the area of risk and reputation management. So she’s been finding her assignments fairly easy. “I’ve been getting As so far. I feel like once we get into the more interesting stuff, then I’ll have to prioritise and structure my study.”
“If I don’t pass my exams, if my assignments are crap, then it’s just not for me and that’s okay.”
Lou largely does her study in the evenings, for a couple of hours once her kids, 14 and 10, are in bed.
Lou also has flexible hours at her PR firm. “We had a client meeting yesterday around healthcare and we did a roundtable of who you are, what you bring, and people were talking about their degrees. I come in as the comms specialist saying ‘I don’t have a comms degree, but I’m doing an accounting degree’. Everyone’s like, ‘what? Do you think you’ll ever become an accountant?’. I say I probably wouldn’t want to be an accountant doing compliance, but I’d like to help people understand more about running a business.”
What would she say to midlife women contemplating study?
“Absolutely do it, especially if you come from a background where you didn’t do well at school so you think that study isn’t for you. As a person with ADHD you’re typically either excellent at school or you bomb out. I bombed out.” But that doesn’t have to stop you studying later in life. “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Take it step by step.”
Something solid
Brianne, who had been working for non-profits for 15 years, recently trained as a school teacher.
“It’s something I always wanted to do. With the non-profit work, I’d been at the same level for about 10 years, jumping between jobs, and contracting. I wasn’t learning more skills, and was just trying to survive financially. I realised I really wanted a career where I could work my way up, where I could get better at something, where there is more career progression and pay progression. It was about having more security and doing something a bit more meaningful. I mean, the non-profit jobs were meaningful, but I just wanted something that led somewhere.”
Brianne, who had earned a geography degree 20 years prior, was very nervous about studying again. “I kept questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing. Also, it happened very quickly.” She left her job and the year-long course started six weeks later.
What was it like being around younger students? “I was literally old enough to be their mother! They were all very welcoming and open.” In fact, there were six students aged over 35 in a class of 17.
At one point Brianne wondered if she could hack it academically. “We had a test early on where we had to memorise all these theories. I and a couple of older students were struggling. The younger students said, ‘don’t worry, not everyone remembers everything well’. And I said ‘we did remember things like this, at your age!’. I think it was mostly being out of practice.”
She worried about passing her papers. “I ended up getting a B average. I got a few As here and there. As an older student, even if you’re not getting the straight As you got at 21, you’re still doing fine. But it’s not impossible to get those A grades if you work really hard.”
A highlight? “Some of my fellow students were from overseas, so they didn’t know anything about Māori culture, and the rights and responsibilities of being a New Zealander. So it was great to help them. My knowledge about Te Tiriti and Māori rights helped me get good grades and build relationships with other students. As an older student, you have knowledge that you don’t realise you have, even if you’re studying something new.”
“My whole life, people told me I should be a teacher. So, many people said ‘oh, that’s good’. And because I’d jumped around jobs for a few years, people said ‘good, you found something solid’.”
She studied fulltime. “I’d get up at 5am to study. I’d cook dinner then do more study. And I’d study on the weekends.” Her kids, who were 8 and 11, were pretty good about that. “It’s good for kids to think, ‘cool, you can try something new, at any age’.” Her husband has been supportive throughout, even though it’s been very tough financially.
Brianne started teaching geography halfway through last year, taking over a class from another teacher. It’s been a steep learning curve, but she knows things will get easier once she’s on top of things.
What would she say to someone a similar-ish age thinking about a career change? “Give it a go. The worst that can happen is you’re back where you started.” And if you don’t try, you’ll never know.