It’s time for women to claim what they deserve and earn more says Kiwi entrepreneur Brooke Nolly. Here she speaks to guest writer Carolyn Enting, who takes a look at her own experiences when it comes to negotiating salaries.
The gender pay gap in New Zealand has become narrower, but there’s still a gap. It begs the question, are employers paying women less because they can get away with it or are women undervaluing themselves?
The answer is a bit of both, and I speak from personal experience. I’ve sat in on countless job interviews where prospective employees are asked about their salary expectations. It’s a topic that instantly makes women uncomfortable (including me – insert nervous laugh here). When they finally name a figure, they’re almost apologetic, and in the next breath say that if the business can’t afford that then they’ll take the job for $5k less, because they really want the job. Of course, when they’re offered the job, that’s what they get because why would someone pay you more if they don’t have to?
On the flipside being Gen X, I also admit to feeling a little pissy when millennials and Gen Z’s come in demanding high salaries with barely any experience under their belts. It’s these generations, however, who are bucking the narrative and as a Gen X, it’s hard to stomach seeing someone half your age earning more than you ever did comparatively, but in actual fact, it’s not their fault. And as women we need to support and encourage pay parity confidence, because if women keep believing they’re not worthy and not enough, things will never change.
Millennial and entrepreneur Brooke Nolly, 32, is a great example. She earns a multi six figure income as a trauma-informed relationship specialist and business coach. Seven years ago she moved on from employment and became a business owner. Her purpose is helping women, in particular women in business, to recognise and charge more.
“It comes down to self-worth,” explains Nolly, who concurs that the patriarchal system over the centuries has everything to do with women traditionally accepting less but says it’s time to flick the switch and upgrade our standards.
She says it is less about how much money an employer or customer has and more about what your standards are and if you can trust the process, have faith in your own skills and say no to an opportunity if the salary or offer doesn’t cut it.
“Ask yourself, ‘What am I available for? What am I not available for?” says Nolly. “The reality is, if you want to call in more money, you have to upgrade your standards and that requires no’s. Most women are not okay with no. They want to say yes because ‘what if nothing better comes along?’ When something feels like a no in your body, trust it and honour your no. That’s my number one tip. When it’s a no, it’s a no and often on the other side of that no is an opening and a ‘yes’ opportunity.”
Nolly believes women often don’t ask for enough because they tend to approach these scenarios with a scarcity mindset fed by a belief system pumped into us over the centuries, from religion to Hollywood and Disney; where women are the nurturers and men are there to provide and rescue, which doesn’t serve anyone involved.
“My mission is to show women that they can actually charge what they want and go out there with conviction. I advise them to get messy, try, fail and learn because they’re not subject to these conditions. They’re purely conditions that hang around us but they’re not the truth,” says Nolly. “When we find our own truth and we lean into that, we create new narratives and then we become the way showers for our daughters, nieces and for all the other women who come after us. And we also show the women that came before us that there’s a different way.”
While the myth has been debunked that a woman won’t apply for a job unless she has 100 per cent of the skillset (it’s actually 55.7 per cent), Nolly explains that another reason why women feel more hesitant is because traditionally, women have had to scramble for a seat at the table, while men were literally born at the table. “We actually have to build our own table and create it our own way, which comes back to lifestyle design. Do I want to fit into a patriarchal culture? Or do I just exit that and build my own fucking table. That’s my ethos and that’s what I help women with and that’s lifestyle design. I’m not interested in trying to climb a corporate ladder that is set up for me to feel miserable and disempowered.”
According to Nolly, angsting over how to find your worth or be more worthy is patriarchal language. “You’re inherently already worthy and are enough,” she says. “You don’t need another certification or to educate yourself further. Tune into what you would like to be paid. Tune into what price would be worth your time and charge even more than that. What salary feels good for you? Be courageous enough to state the salary you want. Start at a salary that makes you want to crawl under the table and go ‘they’re not going to hire me if I ask for that’. That’s how we grow as women. You can always work backwards but it’s harder to work forwards. It’s damn near impossible. If they want you and you value yourself, they will value you.
“It’s the same if you run your own business. Someone will come along and be happy to pay your prices because it’s about the standards you set for yourself. Teach people how to pay you by owning your worth with conviction. I tend to reiterate the saying ‘those that are meant for me, won’t miss me, those that aren’t meant for me, will pass me by’ opportunities included.”
Photography credit: Charlotte Curd
