The motherhood penalty isn’t some vague term – it’s an economic and societal phenomenon that majorly disadvantages mothers in their careers. And would you believe that fathers get a pay bump?
Before having children – who are now three and four – Mela Lush worked in corporate leadership. “I’d been with the company a long time and had built my career to a senior level.”
“When I had my first baby and returned to work, I expected to continue growing my career. However, things felt different. I wasn’t getting the same career-development opportunities I had before. At first, I thought it was just part of the adjustment process after becoming a parent. But after my second pregnancy, it became more apparent that my career had stalled.”
“I wanted to work flexibly – balancing career and family – but I found that flexibility was sometimes used as a reason to limit opportunities. Conversations would circle back to, ‘oh, you can’t do this thing because we need a full-timer to do it’.” That shocked Mela.
“I knew women were underrepresented in leadership, but I hadn’t expected to experience these barriers myself – because I was incredibly ambitious, highly skilled, and motivated. I didn’t feel any different from my male colleagues, yet I started to see a shift in how my career was perceived.”
One day, she was offered what was described as a ‘great role’ but at a more junior level. “It was framed as a ‘win’ because they said that if my child was sick, the business wouldn’t be impacted.”
“At first, I accepted this reasoning. It sounded practical. But later, I thought: ‘wait a minute – no. I’m highly capable. Why not simply utilise my skills where they are best applied, rather than sidelining me?’.”
“I wasn’t the only woman affected in these ways. My friends, and women in my mothers’ group, were too, and I didn’t think that was fair.”
“This isn’t just my story – it’s the reality for so many women. This isn’t a ‘me problem’ or a ‘you problem’ – it’s a systemic problem.
It’s the motherhood penalty.
What is it, exactly?
The term ‘motherhood penalty’ isn’t a catchphrase. Unfortunately, it’s a phenomenon.
A term coined by sociologists Michelle Budig and Paula England, the ‘motherhood penalty’ is the systemic disadvantage that mothers encounter in their careers – including getting lower pay and fewer promotions. Why? Because deeply entrenched beliefs and expectations about what motherhood entails leads to the misconception that having children negatively impacts the work of mothers.
A major study found that working mothers are perceived as 10% less competent, and 12% less committed, than non-mothers among otherwise equal candidates.
Conscious and unconscious biases are a heady mix. “The powerhouse of the motherhood penalty is unconscious bias,” Ava Wardecki writes in an article for Global Women NZ. “It clouds perceptions of working mothers, and ringfences their actions and achievements in a way that undermines them and their capabilities when compared with their male and child-free counterparts.”
For starters, motherhood is the biggest driver of pay inequality. In New Zealand the gender pay gap is 8.2%. The World Economic Forum says the motherhood penalty makes up 80% of the gender pay gap. Wow.
A small gender pay gap exists between men and women in their 20s, but it starts to widen when women hit their 30s and start to have children.
Gallingly, New Zealand mothers who return to the workforce face an average 4.4% drop in hourly pay – something that steepens for each child they have. If they’ve been out of paid work for more than a year, they experience an average 8.3% wage penalty.
After a career break of between three and five years, returning mothers earn 10-20% less than before. After 10 years out of the workforce, mothers earn, on average, $152,000 less than a childfree woman with a similar career. As the Ministry for Women found, the pay gap for mothers versus non-mothers is 17% – considerably wider than the gender pay gap.
Gah.
And that’s if you can get a job. Quite simply, women are less likely to be employed after becoming mothers. Forty-three percent of New Zealand women leave work after having children, and 60% struggle to re-enter the workforce.
Anecdotally, some women say that potential employers have had an issue with the ‘CV gap’ of mothers – considering them rusty, or not up to speed with industry or technical developments. Man, of course women can get up to speed quickly! (BTW, it’s illegal for employers to ask job applicants if they have, or plan to have, children.)
Overall, New Zealand mothers earn an average 12.5% less than fathers of the same age and education over their career.
All in all, the motherhood penalty has a huge impact on women’s financial goals and priorities – be it paying down student-loan debt, saving for a house deposit, saving for retirement, investing, or just having some nice-to-haves in life.
Career stalling
Prepare to be even more infuriated.
Many mothers, to their dismay, are getting fewer opportunities to advance their careers. This includes not being promoted due to biases about availability and commitment (for instance, you’re far less likely to be promoted if you work part-time). Mothers are offered fewer leadership roles compared to men and childfree women. Mothers are also more likely to be left out of training and education opportunities, and specific high-value projects. Mothers often take on less-skilled roles than they had pre-children, while some choose careers partly because they will offer more flexibility.
Anecdotally, some mothers trade pay for flexibility. One woman tells me she accepted a low salary after her employer said that mothers are more distracted. Some mothers express gratitude for employers making ‘concessions’ to allow part-time or flexible hours (even if they get as much work done). Some mothers feel less financially empowered than their male partners because they earn less.
It shouldn’t be this way.
Women are also ‘underemployed’. In New Zealand, one in three employed women work part-time, and of those, one in five is under-employed. Underemployed people are those who work part-time (less than 30 hours a week) and who want and are available to increase their hours. 76,000 New Zealand women are underemployed compared to 46,000 men.
And fathers?
Would you believe that men actually get an earnings boost after becoming fathers? It’s been called a fatherhood premium, a fatherhood bonus, and a fatherhood advantage.
Michelle Budig – one of the sociologists who coined the term ‘the motherhood penalty’ – found that the average man earns more than six percent after becoming a father (whereas the average woman’s earnings decrease by four percent for every child). A major study found that fathers are considered five percent more committed to their jobs than non-fathers.
I’m livid.
Power time
The aforementioned Mela Lush left her job and drilled down into some data. “Before children, the gender pay gap between men and women is relatively small. The tipping point is motherhood.”
Something that particularly struck her is that, a decade after having children, many women remain underemployed.
“When you layer in societal expectations, workplace structures, and unconscious bias, you suddenly see it for what it is: the motherhood penalty.”
“There’s a global, overlooked workforce – highly skilled, capable professionals being underutilised because of outdated workplace structures.”
“This wasn’t something I could just accept and move on from. If you see a problem, and you have the awareness and ability to do something about it, don’t you have a responsibility to act?”
That’s why she started Jobs For Mums, where you can browse job ads from flexible employers. “It’s not just a job platform but a movement to change how we view flexible work and the value of working parents.”
Women want flexible work. In New Zealand, 85% of working mothers say flexible work is essential to their return, but 92% of women feel that asking for flexibility could harm their career.
Mela is partnering with key people from New Zealand’s biggest companies to drive change.
She wants to bust the myth that, if you work flexible hours, you’re somehow less motivated or less productive.
“The truth is, when you work flexibly, you’re often more focused, efficient, and outcome-driven. We call it ‘power time’, not part-time.” It’s time to focus on output, not hours worked at your desk.
“Employees working in family-friendly environments are more engaged and happier at work. Flexible and family-friendly workplaces aren’t a ‘nice-to-have’ – they’re a business advantage.”
What if motherhood was seen not a penalty but as an advantage? “It builds negotiation skills, empathy, multitasking, and critical thinking – all valuable in leadership,” Mela says.
“The motherhood penalty isn’t an individual problem – it’s a structural problem. The more we talk about it, the more we can change it.”
Look out for Part 2, where we talk to women impacted by the motherhood penalty.