Tuesday, May 28, 2024

‘Early Morning Existential Crisis’ Overly Familiar Spotify Personalised Playlists We’re Hoping To Be Recommended

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‘Sweater Weather.’ ‘Minimalist Piano Morning.’ ‘Witchy Evening.’ The new Spotify personalised playlists have been creating hours of fun if, like us, you like some whimsy with your overly intimate algorithm recommendations. Here are some we’d like to see next.

  • Depressed Atmospheric Piano For Concentration/Pretending You’re In The Big Little Lies Intro
  • ‘Your Clue App Told Us Your Period Is Due’ Tearful Ballads
  • ‘Oh No You Read A Sad News Story’ Lonely Piano Tunes
  • Early Morning Existential Crisis
  • ‘You Love Cowboy Carter But No You Can’t Pull Off A Sexy Cowboy Hat So Here’s Kacey Musgraves Instead’ 
  • Pop Tunes For Millennials By Women Who Are 20 years Younger Than You and Would Laugh At Your Choice Of Jeans
  • ‘Karaoke But You’re At Home On A Saturday Night So I Guess We’re Doing Chores To These?’
  • 90s RnB But A Lot Of These People Are Dead Now 
  • ‘Middle Age Is Imminent’ Easy Listening
  • ‘Oh You’re Wearing A Woollen Cardigan Even Though it’s Still 19 degrees, You Autumn Obsessed Freak’ 
  • Victorian Nightgown Chic Because You Still Love The Little Princess 
  • ‘Soft New York Jazz As If You’re In You’ve Got Mail But With No Tom Hanks So You Get To Just Run Your Bookshop In Peace’
  • ‘Help The Baby Won’t Sleep’
  • ‘Help The Baby Won’t Sleep’ + Ocean Waves 
  • That Horny Hozier Song You’re Playing On Repeat To Feel Alive Again
  • ‘Embarrassing Musicals You Only Listen To On Private Session, Emma’
  • Cool, Back To Taylor Swift Again
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