Thursday, September 21, 2023

The Love Diaries: The 5 Invisible Signs of Loneliness – And What You Can Do About Them

Welcome to our series, The Love Diaries – a space for you to share your experiences, advice, fairy-tale endings, setbacks and heartbreaks. We’ll be hearing from industry experts giving practical advice alongside Capsule readers (You!) sharing your firsthand experiences with love – everything from finding love, to keeping love, to losing love.

If you have a topic you’d like to discuss, share your thoughts, experience or advice about, drop a line to [email protected] with ‘Love’ in the subject line. All stories that are published will will a Dermalogica BioLumin-C Moisturiser, valued at $119!

This week, we speak to a dating expert about loneliness, and some of its hidden signs you might not even realise are affecting you.

Loneliness is one of life’s most awful conditions – and when we’re going through a pandemic and lockdowns, it tends to rear its ugly head more often. It’s not unexpected, says The Offline Dating Method author Camille Virginia – but you could be experiencing loneliness without even realising what it is. Here, she lists her five invisible signs of loneliness:

You’re bored

You know an amazing world of books, shows, movies, hobbies, travel, nature awaits you, and all you have to do is choose one and take the first step to start it – but you can’t make a choice and nothing sounds appealing.

You feel unfulfilled

Like you’re just going through the same day-to-day motions as yesterday, last week, last month, last year – and not progressing yourself or your life toward anything meaningful or impactful.

Nothing excites you

You used to get a jolt of excitement about your sports team winning, or finishing a big work project – but you can’t remember the last time you felt that feeling.

You feel hopeless about the future

“If it’s just more of the unenjoyable present, what’s there to look forward to?”

You can’t find anything to stream

The choices are literally endless, so the problem isn’t a shortage of amazing shows – it’s that you shouldn’t be watching anymore TV until you fill up your human connection cup.

Camille Virginia, author of the Offline Dating Method

So, if you’re experiencing loneliness, what can you actually do about it?

“If any of these signs resonate with you, you’re likely in need of in-person human connection,” Camille says. “Social connection is as crucial to human survival as food and water, but unlike a pang of hunger or parched thirst, loneliness is a chronic symptom that we culturally associate with shame. But really, it’s just Mother Nature’s nudge to get back to your tribe, which was necessary for our species’ survival for hundreds of thousands of years.

“Go for a walk and smile at your neighbours as you pass, give someone a genuine Compliment Drive-By (which makes you and them feel good, but doesn’t obligate you to create a full-blown conversation if you’re not up for it), call a close friend for a meetup or socially-distanced picnic (either now or scheduling it for later so you can look forward to it), and if levels allow, go to a coffeeshop and read a book (even just being surrounded by fellow humans can ease your loneliness.)”

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