“We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet, For days of auld lang syne…”
Well, it’s been a real time, hasn’t it? As we see out the last of this complicated, challenging, long and lockdown-d year, the Capsule team reminisce on the year that was and their thoughts about 2021
Alice: I’m finally off a toxic path
Has there ever been a year when time seemed so irrelevant?
In my old job, the royal family became my currency and I could measure time based around their life events (2013? That was the year Prince George was born! 2011? That’s when Kate & Wills were married). This now seems like a truly INSANE and rather tragic way to live.
But if I humour it again for one brief moment, my mind boggles that it was only the beginning of this year that Prince Harry & Meghan Markle announced they were leaving the royal family (January 8 to be precise).
WHAT?
I could swear that was three years ago, if not 17 million years ago.
Also, it was only in January THIS year that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were snapped at the Screen Actors Guild Awards running into each other backstage where THAT magical wrist hold happened.
But beyond then, something kind of wonderful has happened in my life.
From there, rather than have the life events of celebrities and royals marking the passing of time, it’s my own milestones.
And yes, in 2020 there’s unfortunately been a fair few sad events to plot, there’s also been truly magical moments. And what’s more, they’re all mine.
Getting made redundant during a global pandemic in a year where I already had a heck of other stuff going on, is no fairytale – it’s absolute bullshit. And I don’t want to lessen the experience of others who will still be doing it tough and feeling – quite rightly – so angry about having their lives thrown off course. It can be cruel and tragic and just so deeply unfair.
But fortunately for me, somehow, it ended up being one of the best things that’s ever happened. Because it forced me off the – frankly, quite toxic – path I was on and onto a better path. Yes, it’s been absolutely terrifying half the time, but it’s also been life changing in the best possible way.
If you spent the lead up to Christmas re-watching the regular go-tos, you likely will have seen The Holiday and this year, when the adorable old man down the street, Arthur gave Iris a wee pep talk, it hit a little different.
You’ll know the bit – where he tells Kate Winslet’s character that “in the movies we have leading ladies, and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you’re behaving like the best friend.”
She has some sort of epiphany and says “You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life for God’s sake!”
Well, for me, 2020 was the year I finally stopped playing a supporting role (perhaps even a chorus line role?) in my own life.
I hope, despite all the shittiness that 2020 served up, that there were some silver linings for you and your family, and I hope you cling onto those as we ring in a wonderful new year.
Emma: Oh, THAT’S what they mean by gratitude
If I had a dollar for every time someone said ‘What a year’ (or, more likely, ‘This f—king year!’) I would have the financial security this very year has robbed me of! Hahaha, I kid (no, I don’t. Just as a reminder, if your friends or loved ones have lost their job this year, please keep your money talk to a minimum these holidays, thanks).
Living in New Zealand has felt like a surreal universe for most of the year and the stark difference between us and the rest of the world is never more apparent than when you read the headlines of our local news. Roadworks, weather, housing prices. The same headlines we’ve had for 15 years. The saying ‘we don’t know how lucky we are’ gets used about New Zealanders a lot; boy, should it be our motto right now.
The absolute dire circumstances of 2020 reduced life to its basics. There were no job goals to aim for, no overseas trips to count down to. We all just tried our best to cling to what we already had. I remember saying to a friend in early March, “All I now want for this year is for everyone I love to stay alive – if I keep my job and my flat, then that’s just a bonus.”
And then, of course, I went on to lose my job a fortnight later. Perhaps as a result, I have a fairly low tolerance for people who complain about Covid-19 as being an ‘inconvenience’, rather than a devastating, life-altering force. We don’t need to look far to see how much this pandemic has taken from people – and how quickly our luck can change.
As a control freak, the events of 2020 have caused me great anxiety. Literally. It’s been a rough year for the mental health and as we limp towards the end of it, there is a palpable sense of everyone being over it.
But the flipside of this anxiety about the future has been a heightened sense of gratitude for the here and now. I still have a roof over my head. I have my health. The people I love are still alive and I get to see most of them, very easily. That fact alone makes my situation a rare and lucky one in this current world.
Remember how wide-eyed and joyful we were after the end of that first lockdown (and the second one for Auckland), when things like being able to buy a flat white and hug a friend seemed like the greatest gifts on the planet? It’s this feeling that I’m hoping to hold onto as we shift into next year. That it’s not about planning for a year ahead, it’s about being grateful for every single day you get, as it happens.
Kelly: A year I figured out what I’m actually capable of
Well, no one expected that shit storm, did they.
It’s been a year that’s changed everything, but you don’t need me to tell you that. Every single person reading this would have felt the impact of Covid-19 in some way, shape or form, even if you’re one of the lucky ones who didn’t lose anything major. In fact, you could have been one of the very lucky ones who gained something.
For the 25 families in New Zealand who lost a loved one due to Covid, your loss has been the hardest. With all of the talk of economic impact, I really feel like we haven’t stopped to remember those who died after catching Covid – especially internationally as the death toll nears 1.8 million people.
For those of you who lost jobs, we know just how hard this year has been. It’s not just about the missing paycheck at the end of the week, it’s about years of investment into dreams and goals, your identities, your livelihoods.
For those who were apart from family, your sacrifice meant other families remained unaffected. Was there a greater display of love for your fellow Kiwis than seeing the streets completely empty, with the entire nation willing to give up a little freedom in exchange for keeping their countrymen safe?
If you’ve been reading Capsule from the beginning (and if you have thank you SO much) you’ll know this website was a project born out of Covid, when us four founders lost our jobs at the nation’s biggest magazine house.
And thank God we did. I don’t want to be flippant here because I know how tough people are doing it right now. But I’m grateful for everything 2020 threw at me.
I was one of the lucky ones. I didn’t catch Covid for a start (touch wood). Sure, I lost my job and what little financial security I had. But I gained so much more.
Confidence. New skills. My actual dream job. The ability to work for myself, alongside three of my best friends. My mental and physical health back. An understanding and appreciation of money. (Oh and a fair few lockdown pounds but who gives a shit).
Free from corporate bullshit, I found out what I am truly capable of, and I’m so proud of myself. I always suspected I could achieve more than what others thought, or gave me a chance to prove, and I was right. For the first time, I took a chance and created something I’m so proud of, and so happy to produce.
Twenty twenty gave me the push I needed out of a comfy nest into a terrifying, exciting, confusing and wild sky.
And fuck yeah, I’m flying.
