How the heck does one get a good night’s sleep – particularly in 2020?? At Capsule, we all have varying approaches to sleep and napping, but all know how incredibly infuriating it is to be watching the clock tick by at 3am, as you assess all your worries rather than catch your zzzzzzz’s. Here’s what we’ve learned about sleep over the years – the good, the bad, and how to ride that train all the way to Sleepy Town…
Emma
You can immediately tell what a low-key, easy-peasy traveller I am when I start to unpack my sleep essentials: an eye mask, at least three pairs of earplugs (just in case something happens to the first two pairs), calming spray and a sleep balm. Very chill, like a young, carefree backpacker.
There are two kinds of people: People who fall asleep the minute their heads hit the pillow and people who have to monitor their entire day’s behaviour so that, come night fall, they have the best chance possible to fall – and stay – asleep.
I am the latter, obviously. I am surrounded by sleep rules that if I don’t abide, the wheels fall off and I become a sleepless nervous wreck. Those rules are the basics: regular exercise – tired body = tired mind, no caffeine after 4pm, no screens after 10pm, a shower before bed and try to stick to one glass of wine, or, ideally, none. Don’t listen to any music at night, or I’ll give myself an earworm where I’m still singing the chorus at 2am.
However, there is a silver lining to being a some-time insomniac and that’s knowing how much you can accomplish on no sleep. I once had a dire night where I was awake for – literally – the entire night, before finally falling asleep at 6am and waking up at my 6.20am alarm. And I still went to work and didn’t kill anyone. Where’s my medal?
Things that help me go to sleep/go back to sleep
– The Calm App. I keep my noise-cancelling headphones by the bed so that if I wake up in the wee hours of the morning, I can plug myself into this app without disturbing my boyfriend (minus the high drama, manic blue flashing my headphones do when connecting to Bluetooth). There are bunch of options: my two favourites are Falling Back to Sleep with Gratitude, which is a good antidote to the 2am spirals, and the Thunderstorm soundtrack, which makes you feel very snuggly and warm.
– Sleep Bomb. This was recommended to me and by god, it works. Make yourself a ‘shot’ of camomile tea: two teabags and about 1/3 cup of boiling water, let it steep and then drink half an hour before bed. Effective and cheap.
– It sounds like reverse psychology for the brain, but trying to keep my eyes open can help. The fact that it’s a struggle to physically keep my eyes open can sometimes be the trick my dumb brain needs to go the eff to sleep.
– Repeat to myself: I am warm, I am safe, I am sleepy.
– Yoga breathing: holding your exhales longer than your inhales can calm the system down.
– Worse-case scenario? I get out of bed, get into a robe and under a blanket, and read a Nigella Lawson cookbook. Soothing.
Nicky
When people ask what superpower would you most like to have, I used to always answer sleep. Being able to close one’s eyes and catch some zzzs at the drop of a hat seemed like the key to happiness for me. Anything would be tolerable as long as you weren’t tired. And because I held sleep in such high regard I often found that it didn’t come easy. The more panic stricken I felt about getting a good night’s rest the less readily I was able to. It was a complex relationship that raged on for many years.
My obsession ended however after my kids were born. I will never forget the early days after my daughter arrived and being shocked and appalled knowing that even as I lay down exhausted at the end of the day I would almost certainly be awake again in two hours. And two hours after that, and two hours after that and so on. I learned in those months just how much you could carry on without sleep, even if it felt like you were wading through treacle and you cried at the mildest provocation. It was not great by any measure but nevertheless I survived.
And what I did finally discover in those blurry days and endless nights was how to snatch some rest at a moment’s notice. So permanently exhausted was I, and so desperate for time out from reality, that my body at last came to the party. I developed the ability to drop off quickly whenever the chance presented itself. Sometimes you have to go through the fire to get to where you want to be.
Now I’m not recommending that anyone rush into parenthood in order to clear up their residual sleep issues so let me offer a cheaper and less labour intensive technique that might help. This is another little trick that I began using over that time and which has continued to serve me well.
Think of a category of things that doesn’t evoke any particular emotions. I’m talking ‘fruits and veg’ not ‘people who have ever hurt me’ and then go through the alphabet in your mind coming up with something in that category for each letter.
The idea is that you do it every night at bedtime so that your brain begins to associate it with that reflex of relaxing into sleep. Not only will this prevent your mind from racing in unwarranted ways but the very act of doing it will help you unwind. I find it an excellent way to quell the wild horses of the mind because there’s simply no way to fixate on your problems when you’re concentrating on apples, bananas, cherries…. Nighty, night.
Alice
I was at intermediate school when I had my first introduction to the infuriating, exhausting world of insomnia.
I can still picture the shape of the little red bars that made up the numbers on my digital alarm clock back then – each time they changed formation to turn over a new minute, or hour, a bit more panic set in. I’d frantically do the math, counting back from the very latest time I could set my alarm for, and feel more and more distressed the further away that figure got from eight hours.
It’s something I obsessed about for years. I’d constantly look at the clock and assess it in relation to that magic eight-hour rule. “Okay, so I must have got two hours of sleep just then. If I go back to sleep in the next 10 minutes I can sleep for another four hours, which is only two off eight…” But, of course just by acknowledging the situation (and piling on a mound of pressure!) sleep would suddenly be completely evasive and 10 minutes would turn into three hours.
Sometimes it was because I was so determined that I needed a good night sleep that it would inevitably become elusive (like the night before my School C Geography exam, when I finally crept into my mum’s bed at 5.30am, desperate, and fell asleep in time for my alarm to go off). Other times it came out of nowhere, or I’d manage to “catch” it from someone – they might complain that they’d got no sleep overnight and it was like a sleep demon in my brain was listening and went “oh! I know how to do that too! Let’s see if I can still do that tonight!”
I spent the best part of two decades going through long patches of insomnia – obsessing about my sleep patterns, taking sleeping pills, sleep aids, using homeopathic remedies, counting sheep, getting up and reading on the couch at 2am, trying different pillows, temperatures, cutting out caffeine, trying acupuncture, humidifiers, balms, sleep sounds, sleep apps, and spending too much time stressing about going on holiday and sleeping in a new bed.
Maybe something in my health or chemistry shifted, but – touch wood – now, I only experience a little bit of broken sleep and have the odd night where I take a while to fall back asleep. It may have been something physical, but I also think a gradual change in my thinking also turned it around. I stopped focusing on that grand total number of hours of sleep I got and giving that all the credit and responsibility for how I was feeling the next day. Health is a jigsaw puzzle of elements, and sleep – although vital – is just one little bit of it. Once I stopped blaming the whole picture on that one piece, it slowly stopped being such a nightmare.
It became clear that it’s possible to function well if there’s an odd night of little sleep – and that, conversely, I could still feel tired and exhausted after a long night’s sleep. Now, I barely give it much consideration – besides recognising the nights when I should get to bed earlier or allow myself to get up later. These days I never add up hours and I never look at the clock in the night – it’s irrelevant. It’s hugely important to prioritise sleep – but not to obsess over it.
If I was going to give any advice or tips to get to sleep (or back to sleep!), it’d be to quit obsessing over eight hours, avoid caffeine, don’t allow a TV in your bedroom, and if you’re having real trouble – don’t force it. Tell yourself if you’re still awake in 20 minutes, you’ll give up, get up and make a cup of tea and read a book. If you go through with it a few times, you’ll find your body realises it’s much cozier and warmer and nicer right where it is and you’ll doze off before you know it!
Kelly
Everyone knows that in times of greater stress, sleep is the first thing that falls off the wagon. There’s so much to think about, so much to analyse, so much to overthink, so much to overanalyse.
I’m lucky that I’m a fairly good sleeper – it might take me a while to get to sleep, but once I’m out, I’m usually out.
But I have noticed that I’m falling asleep later and later, which is having an annoying knock-on effect in the mornings. I’m a morning person to a tee – I do my best thinking and writing straight after I wake up, I love a sunrise walk along the beach and I love bounding out of bed with an unapologetic air of smugness and heading straight to the Nespresso machine.
My other problem is that I can’t nap. I’ve never been able to just pop over to the couch for a quick power nap in the afternoon, or schedule a bit of shut-eye during the day when I know I’m about to have a big night. How the hell do people just shut their eyes and, hey presto, they’re asleep?!
So in order to fix both problems, I’ve been experimenting with a few things. Yes, sure, the no screen thing does work, but for me those last few hours before bed is the only time I have to catch up on TV, or scroll through my usual routine of websites for updates.
What I have been interested to try, however, are blue light blocking glasses. I’ve given them a go during the day when I worked in an office, and I noticed a marked difference in “fuzziness”. Blue light is one of the most potent things when it comes to keeping us awake and producing melatonin. However when filtered out with special lenses, the blue light is blocked – and hey presto, sleep comes easier. Stay tuned for updates on that one.
But one new addition to my sleep routine has been my new weighted blanket. They’re a massive trend right now – and one that, I have to admit, I was skeptical of. Traditionally they’ve been used for kids with anxiety and autism, but are now gaining popularity amongst adults looking for the Next Big Thing in sleep aids.
A weighted blanket is supposed to mimic deep pressure stimulation, with weight evenly distributed around your body, and can be helpful in relaxing the nervous system, reducing pain and encouraging relaxation. Plus, they’re bloody snuggly.
I have a chronic pain disorder and, as you’ll know from our last Capsule Collective, I’m not immune to the pain in the arse that is anxiety – and I love feeling like a wrapped up baked potato, so the product appealed on quite a few levels. However I couldn’t figure out how it would work.
A Kiwi company, Sleep Heavy, had sent one over to Capsule to try so I thought why the hell not.
So, I just gave it a go on a rainy Saturday afternoon – yes, afternoon – while watching yet another re-run of Law and Order (it’s such a shame that Benson and Stabler never got together, amirite?).
I was asleep. In minutes. Me. Napping. In the afternoon. I’ve been using it for around two weeks now, and I can honestly say my eyelids are drooping minutes after I’ve ensconced myself within it. I’m using a double blanket, with a weight of 6.8kgs, and while it did feel jarringly heavy when I woke up on the first few mornings and forgetting why I couldn’t lift my torso up as easily as usual, I’m very used to the feeling now.
If you’re looking for something easy and low-maintenance, I’d recommend giving them a go!
