There’s a lot written and shared about giving birth – but there’s also a lot of information we don’t share, sometimes not even with our closest friends. But here, 27 women share all and tell the ONE THING that they wish someone had told them before they gave birth.
Welcome to The One Thing! Every week we’re bringing you the one nugget of info that you need to know or didn’t know you needed to know! Whether it’s a tip to make your life a little easier, a pearl of wisdom, something to make you think, or maybe something to make you laugh, The One Thing is here to serve you every Friday!
If you’ve got a suggestion or submission for The One Thing, please send your thoughts to [email protected]. We’d love to hear from you!
“That when the time came, I’d have absolutely no control over my body – nature totally takes over”
“That the hours and HOURS I spent doing antenatal class were probably a waste of time. My birth went totally different to how I planned. She was breech so I had a c-section before her due date after she refused to be turned. I wish I’d spent those hours learning how to breastfeed or burp her, or learning how to swaddle?”
“To take chapstick!!”
“To stand on all fours because it is easier and more natural than lying on your back”
“That yes, you might not be able to cope with the pain, no matter how much music, tens machine or other thing you use!”
“That I wouldn’t want my husband to touch me. I brought all these expensive massage oils and practiced affirmations, made loads of different playlists, practiced meditation etc. When the time came I wanted NO ONE to touch me and complete silence (except for the sound of me screaming at my husband?)”
“That this likely won’t go as planned. It can involve major surgery and you’ll never be the same”
“I wish I’d known more about the pain relief options – and options for not having any. Also that there is an option to deliver the placenta naturally, not drug-induced. I wish I had known I could have easily done it drug free!’
“That a rapid birth is a thing! It might not take hours!!”
“That you don’t have to stress about knowing when ‘it’s time’ to push. Your body knows and just starts doing it!”
“That an elective c-section is so relaxed!”
“That – and I’m sorry to say this to anyone who is pregnant now and doesn’t know this – but, the pain isn’t over when you’ve delivered the baby and the placenta. The next day I was in so much pain, and in the days following? Every time I breast fed, it made my uterus contract and it was very painful!”
“That… and this is probably an unpopular thing to say… but it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Like it was painful, but survivable?”
“How all-encompassing motherhood would be – it should be a course like antenatal!”
“That you should trust your instincts. Our midwife said everything was going ok, but my husband and I both knew something wasn’t right. It wasn’t. I was losing too much blood. Thankfully my husband stepped out of the room and screamed for a doctor. Miraculously one was walking past – he probably saved my life. (That midwife isn’t a midwife anymore!)”
“To rest, rest, rest and supplement afterwards (and properly prep beforehand so it’s possible to rest!)”
“How little you care about modesty and how little the doctors/nurses/anyone else cares? I am very modest normally, but when I was in active labour at the hospital, I suddenly pulled ALL my clothes off. I couldn’t stand to have anything touching me. No one cared or blinked an eye. It was so normal.”
“That a birth plan is a total joke. Why do we make them? Why do people talk so much about them? Sorry, but you don’t have much say in the end. How long is this birth going to take? How much pain will there be? How will you react to drugs? What position will the baby be in? UM, NONE of these things are in YOUR control?!? We all just need to go with the flow and release the control. It’s thinking that we’re in control and then realizing that we’re not, that is scary. If you know that from the start, it’s not scary, you’re just there for the ride (and hoping for the best).”
“How easy it ended up being? I got a great epidural, and it was all manageable and fine and not worth the stress beforehand.”
“That I didn’t need to read three books about how to give birth. It’ll be what it is. Also. That it’s FINE to get an epidural!!! They work and are fantastic? People who use the term ‘natural birth’ drive me insane. It’s all birth. It’s all natural!””
“How much your partner has to witness during AND afterwards? I got a c-section. The first couple of times you pee after the cathedra is removed, you have to measure it (wtf). It is impossible to sit down alone on the toilet that first time, let alone with a measuring cup, so your partner will be in there with you, measuring your pee and changing your pad. I mean – your nurse may be able to do it, but it wasn’t even an option for us, so all mystery in your relationship soon goes out the window.”
“That an induction wasn’t actually going to be easy and could end up taking four days and result in a c-section!”
“How out of control I’d feel – but that nothing mattered when my daughter was placed in my arms!”
“How spacey the gas makes you!”
“How scary it can be when things go wrong”
“A LOT of people are going to see your boobs over the days/weeks after the birth and you’re not even going to care or feel any embarrassment.”
“That it wouldn’t take as long as everyone said. When I went into labour with my first I was expecting it to take days. We went to the hospital just over TWO HOURS after I felt my first contraction. The midwife – and I – thought I was being a drama queen, but I nearly gave birth in the reception area. I only just made it into a birthing suite and had our baby eight minutes after we arrived. I was in labour for two hours and 11 minutes all up.”
