Welcome to TBH – To Be Honest – Capsule’s monthly column with our columnist and old pal, Brodie Kane! This month, Brodie is questioning when did hen’s nights and stag dos become so crazy over the top?
And for her previous columns, click here!
What is going on?? Since when did a hen or stag do become a bigger flex than the bloody wedding itself? Who is to blame? It’s those bloody bridesmaids/groomsmen, isn’t it???
And do we need to stage an intervention? I THINK SO. Yes, I am yelling.
A couple of weeks ago, we were having a conversation on The Girls Uninterrupted podcast about how hen’s dos and stag parties are getting bigger and bigger, and how stressful they can be to organise. I piped up (shocking, I know), and said not only that, they’re getting bloody expensive these days too!
Well, the inbox flood gates opened.
Horror stories of poor innocent people emptying their bank accounts so they could go to twerk-classes and dick-art classes (ok, so I made those up). But seriously, the amount of people who are feeling the pinch because these pre-wedding parties have gotten out of hand is becoming quite the theme.
One listener had to turn down a hen party because the day out was $450 AND she didn’t live in city it was happening in, so she would have had to pay for flights too.
Another did make the decision to go along to a full day of activities and shelled out $350 to do so. And then the wedding was in Queenstown, so she had flights, accommodation and the rest. The total amount she spent on the hen party and the wedding was $1500. $1500!!!!!
Trust me, I could go on.
One guy I know just turned down an invite to Vegas for a stag do. I mean good for you, Stag, but people still have to pay to go to your wedding!
And perhaps the worst story of all: A girl was invited to a hen’s party, forking out $300 to attend, only to find out that it wasn’t the “real” hen do (!!!), and that there was a smaller group going away for a Waiheke weekend at a different time. SO THERE WERE TWO HEN’S DOS AND SHE WAS AT THE PRETEND ONE. WILD.
That’s the thing – weddings are already expensive for guests! But it’s a sacrifice we all make because we love our friends and family, and our cold hearts melt with joy when we see pure love and happiness for the people we care the most.
But shit the bed, celebrating other people’s love is also a massive financial commitment and that’s BEFORE we throw in these outrageous hen and stag parties.
So who do we need to write to? The Bridesmaids? The Groomsmen? Is it their fault? What are they thinking? Who made them blow out like this? Where does the pressure come from? Do the Brides and Grooms know what’s happening, and do they have any say in the matter?
I feel like social media might surely play a role in all of this too? Is that where the flex comes from? WHERE DOES THE GODDAMN FLEX COME FROM?????
And let’s think about it from more than me just raging about it for a moment:
The beauty of stag and hen parties are when there’s a mix of people, from work friends to family members, to school friends and besties – they all gather and make a solid effort to celebrate their special mate, right? And potentially to break the ice pre-wedding? But the thing is, not everyone has the same amount of disposable income to spend on these occasions.
So, my plea to wedding parties: whoever is responsible, please remind yourself, the wedding is the celebration, not the hen do.
Let’s put an end to this madness.
To hear more of Brodie, jump onto her podcasts The Girls Uninterrupted and Kiwi Yarns
