Sunday, April 14, 2024

“TBH It Feels Like We’re in a ‘Mancession’ – It’s Time to Get Untraditional” Brodie Kane Asks, ‘Where All The Good Men Have Gone’?

Welcome to TBH – To Be Honest – Capsule’s monthly column with our columnist and old pal, Brodie Kane! In her latest edition, Brodie asks the question SO many single people have been asking for years. Where the hell are the good men – and is it time to turn to, er, untraditional methods to find them?

And for her previous columns, click here!

I went to the Warriors (UP THE WAHS) the other night and boy oh boy, I realised is it a HAVEN of good looking men with the same interests (UP THE WAHS). But here’s the rub: Are they single? Taken? Who bloody knows, but a fair assumption would be the latter because Jesus, where the hell are all the good men?

The last running event I did (the Mt Isobel Challenge in Hanmer) again, I thought ‘boy oh boy, there’s some glorious looking men here with the same interests (running silly distances)’. BUT are they single? Taken? Who bloody knows but a fair assumption would be the latter.

I often and quite genuinely believe that all the good ones are taken. I speak to all my wonderful, smart, epically hot and fabulous single friends and they say the same. There is no one good left.

It leads me to believe that if you’re a woman in your 30s (and more specifically for me late 30s), we’re in the depths of a mancession. And I’m sorry but this is way worse than the recession because the mancession has been going WAY longer than two successive quarters.

Now as you’ll know from a previous column, I’ve thrown the dating apps in the bin because that’s where they belong. Call me crazy but I’d really like to meet someone in the, oh I don’t know, old school traditional way? Is that too much to ask?

But Christ on a bike, how the fuck do you even do that these days? Because like I say, ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE GONE and chances are you’re going to hit up some dish who’s been snapped up by a lovely wahine. Good for her. HA.

My pals and I went out to what we called “Flirting School” a couple of months back (aka dinner and drinks). We went with the goddess Morgan Penn (see last column for my Yoni mapping experience and why she gets the name goddess) and the aim was she was essentially CTRL + ALT + DELETING us back into the game of talking to men – a good restart back out in the wild.

Look don’t get me wrong, we had a fab night and one pal got a pash (woohoo!) – but it was grim out there. Firstly, who knew that Friday nights sucked because everyone works from home on a Friday so turns out Thursday night is the new Friday night. Secondly, MANCESSION. Nothing, nada, nil. We all went home thinking that absolutely they just simply aren’t out there.

So, let’s circle back to the top of the column and approach this from a new angle. Could sporting events be the answer? Are the days of trawling the bars a thing of the past, and do we need to put some systems in place and mix things up a bit? I vote YES.

After I did that Mt Isobel Challenge I had an idea. What if when you were entering these events you could (and only if you wanted to) opt-in to tick a “single” category, and then your bib could be the same colour as all the other singles?? Genius right? Then I heard that people had done something a little similar at the Tarawera Ultra where they put a little green ribbon somewhere on their person to disclose said single status. WE ARE COOKING WITH GAS PEOPLE!!!

I honestly think this has legs (fitting, cos it’s at a running event). People may think that it has an element of cringe to it, but I say it’s got to the point where who actually gives a shit? We’re always told to be out there shooting our shot, and isn’t this a really clever way to do just that? 

I’m about to head over and run the Sydney Marathon. There are 15,000 people entered. 15 THOUSAND!!! SURELY to buggery there’ll be some eligible bachelors in the mix. IMAGINE if we had the green ribbon policy there??? The mind boggles.

Imagine if at the Wahs games every “single” person had the little green ribbon on so that you could shoot your shot in the bar line while buying a 4-pack of Lion Reds?? [Editor’s note – we will be pushing Brodie to take a ‘I’m Single’ sign to the next Warriors home game – Kelly].

So, if you’re reading this, and you organise events like this, I think this should be something you seriously consider. I’m SO up for it.

It’s time to get us out of the mancession. In the meantime, wish me luck over in Sydney, I may just shoot my shot without the ribbon…

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