Welcome to our series, The Love Diaries – a space for you to share your experiences, advice, fairy-tale endings, setbacks and heartbreaks. We’ll be hearing from industry experts giving practical advice alongside Capsule readers (You!) sharing your firsthand experiences with love – everything from finding love, to keeping love, to losing love.
If you have a topic you’d like to discuss, share your thoughts, experience or advice about, drop a line to [email protected] with ‘Love’ in the subject line. All stories that are published will win three BOOST LAB serums following a Skin Advisor’s bespoke recommendation, worth $104.85.
This week we hear from a Guest Writer from 9Honey who can’t forgive herself for cheating on her boyfriend with a work colleague.
When Jamie and I got together three years ago, I really thought he was the one.
I’d been single for ages and treated badly by the guy I’d been dating before him, so it felt like an absolute godsend to have Jamie loving me.
He is the opposite of me in so many ways; I’m quite loud and talkative while he is introverted and shy. But I knew we could make it work.
I have the habit of self-sabotaging my love life, and this time I did the dumbest thing of all.
My friends couldn’t believe I was dating a man they often described as a “geek”, but I was very happy with him. He had a great sense of humour and he was great in bed. What else could a girl want?
Then I made a stupid mistake. I have the habit of self-sabotaging my love life, and this time I did the dumbest thing of all.
There was a guy at work who was always flirting with me, and he texted me one day to say he couldn’t stop thinking about me.
I shouldn’t have acted on it but I did, and I deeply regret it. I slept with him and felt awful. I felt so guilty that I ended my relationship with Jamie, and he was devastated.
I never slept with the guy from work again because by that time, he’d moved onto a younger, prettier colleague.
Weeks went by and I convinced myself I could patch things up with Jamie, so I went to his apartment to see if we could talk – and a very gorgeous young woman opened the door. Jamie had moved on quickly!
He is now married to that woman, so you can imagine how dreadful that makes me feel.
He never would have met her if I hadn’t dumped him and if I hadn’t been stupid enough to have an affair with a man who didn’t care about me. It was a hard pill to swallow.
In the three years since I lost Jamie, I’ve dated all kinds of awful men.
There was the guy who just used me to get his ex wife jealous, sending her a photo of us together on our first date. Another guy lied to me about his age – he was about 15 years older than he’d said he was – and there was the guy who stood me up on my birthday and hasn’t spoken to me since.
I’ve lost count of the number of men who have ghosted me after a date or two. Now I’m getting older and I’m frightened my chances of being married with kids are starting to slip away.
I still haven’t gotten over Jamie, and I reached out to him a couple of weeks ago just to ask how he is.
He replied in a very business-like way saying his wife is pregnant, they are excited and that he wishes me the best of luck with the rest of my life.
In other words, he doesn’t want to hear from me ever again. And I don’t blame him. It’s my own stupid fault and I will never forgive myself.
Click here to read the original story on 9Honey